|
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 6
|
 |
|
Author
|
Topic: Curt? Rude? Or is it just me? (Read 4516 times)
|
Dancing Master
RootsChat Veteran
Posts: 542
Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
|
Could be a person who doesn't waste words, and states the obvious. May not realise you would take it as rudeness.
I have been in the past inundated by requests of "give me all you all you have on such and such a surname they maybe or even may not be related to me. but I still want everything you've got". including copies of all your certificates.
You can get rather Tee'd off by requests like that. especially when you have worked for a very long time doing research and paying out a lot of money for certificates to verify everything you have.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
ancient
RootsChat Extra
Posts: 11
Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
|
I was contacted by a relative that I did not know existed about 18 months ago, after confirming that we were related I put together a package of photo's certificates, you name it, it came to quite a packet. I sent it by post with a note asking for any information that they thought could be of interest to me! Still waiting! Never again.
Ken.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
crystalight
RootsChat Veteran
Posts: 509
Happy Hunting
|
I think many of us have been "caught" like that 
Such a shame because we are all working on the same thing aren't we 
I know I would not have some of my information without the help and support of others and I like to do the same in return if I can, but sometimes you do just end up feeling used and the excitement of finding a relation, however far removed, comes as a big disappointment.
However, I am still in contact with a couple of lovely people of whom one has turned out not to have any connection at all.  Maybe it's that old saying about being able to choose friends......
or is it nowt strange as folk.....
Crystal
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Oakes and Rance - Cheshire Wright, Teesdale, MacWhirter -Sussex Wright, Wooldridge and Little - Surrey and London Grimes - Middlesex and Surrey Cardy - Surrey Broyd, Hanch and Lazell - Essex Bradshawe - Hampshire, London and East Indies Hearsey - India (British Army), Cumberland and London Census information is Crown Copyright from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk |
|
|
LizzieW
RootsChat Marquessate
Posts: 3288
|
I had an enquiry from someone asking about my gran and her siblings. I gave her the information I knew, having asked my mother for details, in particular of her (my mother) aunts and uncles. The person who had contacted me wrote back saying she was new to family history but was going to visit another family member and would write to me with any info she found out. She didn't even though I wrote to her twice after that.
However, the laughs on her, because the other descendant she was visiting, who turned out to be her cousin contacted me via Genes and gave me all the information she had given him, plus copies of parish records, BMDs etc. that she had sourced over the years - so much for her being new to family history.
It seems their g.grandmother is my g.aunt (i.e. my gran's sister). In turn this led to me being in contact with lots of other descendants of my gran's mother, so that we have been able to compare notes and share photographs etc.
Lizzie
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
BENSON- Dalton in Furness (Ulverston) and Hull
BETTISON - Derbys
BOULTON - Dalton-in-Furness and surrounding areas
BRAND - Lincs
COCKETT - Lincs, Yorks, Lancs
DA COSTA (or variants) - Spain or Portugal, London (Middx), ?Hull
GILCHRIST - Scotland, Lincs
HINGLEY - Derbys/Yorks
MANN - Sussex, Kent, Herts
MUMBY - Lincolnshire and Hull
PEMBERTON - Ches, Lancashire
STANTON - Lincs
ROBINSON - Lincs
WHITTAKER/WHITAKER - Ches/Lancs
WRIGHT- Bethnal Green
|
|
|
Dancing Master
RootsChat Veteran
Posts: 542
Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
|
There are always people out to get something for nothing.
I do not advertise my family stuff, I am quite happy plodding on doing it my own way and getting fabulous results.
Now I don't get the constant pressure to supply people with information that may or may not be relevent to them.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
LizzieW
RootsChat Marquessate
Posts: 3288
|
I can understand your point of view Dancing Master, but I now have some lovely photographs of my gran as a girl, that I wouldn't have had if I hadn't been in touch with other distant family members. They were photographs that even my mum hadn't seen.
Lizzie
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
BENSON- Dalton in Furness (Ulverston) and Hull
BETTISON - Derbys
BOULTON - Dalton-in-Furness and surrounding areas
BRAND - Lincs
COCKETT - Lincs, Yorks, Lancs
DA COSTA (or variants) - Spain or Portugal, London (Middx), ?Hull
GILCHRIST - Scotland, Lincs
HINGLEY - Derbys/Yorks
MANN - Sussex, Kent, Herts
MUMBY - Lincolnshire and Hull
PEMBERTON - Ches, Lancashire
STANTON - Lincs
ROBINSON - Lincs
WHITTAKER/WHITAKER - Ches/Lancs
WRIGHT- Bethnal Green
|
|
|
KathMc
RootsChat Aristocrat
Posts: 2657
|
I agree Lizzie. I like to do my own research and follow up on everything myself, but I love the connection with my "new"relatives and the negative that has come with it is worth it, because the positive is so much more.
Kath
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Sligo: Davey (also Mayo), McCluskey, McNulty
Wexford and Staffordshire: Hayes, McClean
Galway and Staffordshire: Scott
Coventry: Wells, Collins, Palmer, Moody, Beck, Mickelwright, Husbands
Ireland: McNulty (Sligo), Kealy, Murphy (Carlow) Connolly, Gillen, Powell, Ryan, Moore, Martin
Davis from I don't know where originally
Stahl, Russia to England to USA
|
|
|
Roobarb
RootsChat Veteran
Posts: 866
Looking for that elusive branch!
|
Could be a person who doesn't waste words, and states the obvious. May not realise you would take it as rudeness.
I have been in the past inundated by requests of "give me all you all you have on such and such a surname they maybe or even may not be related to me. but I still want everything you've got". including copies of all your certificates.
You can get rather Tee'd off by requests like that. especially when you have worked for a very long time doing research and paying out a lot of money for certificates to verify everything you have.
If they use Rootschat I'm sure they'll know now how I took it!
I haven't asked them for anything, let alone everything and if they've assumed that I'm about to do that, why answer at all? I was willing to give as much as I potentially would have got.
You're right Kath, the positives I've had outweigh stuff like this. 
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Bell, Salter, Street - Devon, Middlesbrough. Lickess- North Yorkshire, Middlesbrough. Etherington - North Yorks and Durham. Barker- North Yorks, Crooks- Durham, Forster- North Yorks/Durham, Newsam, Pattison, Proud - North Yorks
|
|
|
Dancing Master
RootsChat Veteran
Posts: 542
Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
|
I am not referrinfg to anyone on this forum but regarding others.
I am extremely lucky that I have photographs of the grandparents, great grandparents, and of most of my aunts and uncles, cousins etc., because the family always kept good records. I understad the problems when you don't have those photographs but its all a bit a give and take and not it coming only in one direction.
I hae helped a lot of people with history family stuff and local history and carry on doing that. but I do not give my research away.
My sons and I are still doing our travels to take photographs of all the places and building associated with the family and this will eventually be available on a DVD for any members of the family that can show they have at least attempted to do some research themselve and not just expected it handing over to them.
I don't want anything from them for it either.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
hume
RootsChat Aristocrat
Posts: 1735
|
I think it's quite rude when you don't receive a reply to queries. Of course, I understand we sometimes fail to catch people at their best, but it costs nothing to reply with a "No, I'm sorry, we're not related" (I believe there's a template on Genes for this?). If you are related, I'm confused why they would put their tree on the internet in the first place!
I'm in a similar situation just now on Ancestry. I discovered one of my Grandmother's side on a public tree and contacted the member to say how we were related. I also included my e-mail address should he wish to contact me. After a few days with no response, I checked the tree again, now updated with a comment, "May have had a sister?", and my message in full, not even bothering to hide my e-mail address.  I understand this may have been a reminder to contact me, but even after sending a second message, no reply. I even had photographs of his great-grandfather, which I would have been happy to share.
However, previous to this, every person I have contacted re: family history has been so nice and helpful. We've shared lots of info, so I guess it's only a minority who chose not to reply/ignore.
hume24
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
sparrett
RootsChat Marquessate
Posts: 4549
|
When approached by someone interested in my information I have always taken the "drip feed" approach.
Just a couple of simple snipets released at first and including a question about their info..
Always keep alluding to the fact there is 'more where this came from'.
If you are not happy with responses to this mode, just send good wishes and blend out 
Sue
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Parrett:Woolwich,Newington,Bermondsey,Plumstead,Middlesex, West Ham. Evans: Bermondsey. Mason: Stepney, Sydney {Aust} Disney:West Ham. Cornish: Hull {UK} to Tasmania {Aust.} to Victoria {Aust} Catchpole: Sweeting: Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk |
|
|
Gensleuth
RootsChat Member
Posts: 156
Where are they?
|
Someone on Genes posted some of my family names back to my grandfather.
I contacted them asking what there relationship was. It turned out they were a first cousin that I didnt know about. [A child of a younger brother of my father]
I asked if they would be interested veiwing the tree which goes back to 1550. Making it clear that we were first cousins. Came the one word reply 'no'
Why on earth did they go on GR in the first place?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Tree
GAUNT N Staffordshire,GAUNT Manchester.GUY,Shropshire, BARTLEY,Salford, Lancs, NEVILLE,Salford. PHILLIPS,Staffs, MAYER,Staffs,COSSAR,Berwick, E and Mid Lothian and Argyll. HIGGINS,Glasgowand Dunoon,Argyll.GALLAGHER,Argyll,IRISH,Herts.
|
|
|
Dancing Master
RootsChat Veteran
Posts: 542
Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
|
As I said previously I consider myself to be most privileged that I knew all my first and second cousions, plus all my aunts, uncles and great aunts and uncles, we were a very close family, and kept records for very many years before genealogy because popular as it is now.
I have family documents form the 1500's which I never had to even look for. plus lots of other items.
I realise that there are lots of people who do not have that privilege.
I inherited the family archive which fits in 5 large suitcases of original documents and they are a great pleasure to me and my sons.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
sparrett
RootsChat Marquessate
Posts: 4549
|
My Goodness Dancing M. That is extraordinary.
Most unusual I think, too that the records have been so respectfully treated for so many years.
Do have to laugh about Gensleuth's single word response to his offer.
I foolishly ,when new at this business, once,sent a fat file to someone upon request.
Ater week I got an email of 2 words
thanks heeps.
I,m not kidding. All lower case and spelt like that
Sue
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Parrett:Woolwich,Newington,Bermondsey,Plumstead,Middlesex, West Ham. Evans: Bermondsey. Mason: Stepney, Sydney {Aust} Disney:West Ham. Cornish: Hull {UK} to Tasmania {Aust.} to Victoria {Aust} Catchpole: Sweeting: Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk |
|
|
|
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 6
|
|
|
|
|
