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Topic: Curt? Rude? Or is it just me? (Read 4508 times)
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KathMc
RootsChat Aristocrat
Posts: 2657
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Cando,
How awful. It sounds to me like you found out something they didn't like. Maybe they wanted royalty or some famous person in their tree. 
Kath
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Sligo: Davey (also Mayo), McCluskey, McNulty
Wexford and Staffordshire: Hayes, McClean
Galway and Staffordshire: Scott
Coventry: Wells, Collins, Palmer, Moody, Beck, Mickelwright, Husbands
Ireland: McNulty (Sligo), Kealy, Murphy (Carlow) Connolly, Gillen, Powell, Ryan, Moore, Martin
Davis from I don't know where originally
Stahl, Russia to England to USA
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cando
RootsChat Marquessate
Posts: 6256
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Thank you Quiller and Kath - Unfortunately no scandals - if anything a tad on the boring side - would have loved a convict or two  I am really at a loss to under the attitude - I honestly thought we were all in this search together.
Now for the New Year Resolutions - My future conversations must include the following - 'I have come across some very interesting information but I must first check on its accuracy" or 'You will have to wait for my 'publication' minus your photographs' Oh dear..... families.
Season's Greetings
cando
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Mike Baldock
RootsChat Member
Posts: 110
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I get a lot of queries about my tree and generally try to be helpful, but if I get questions asking me how I relate to someone in their tree it's a bit odd... what more can you say than 'through the X's'? There's either that rather confused reply - because you don't really know what's being asked and it does seem a bit impertenent - or you go into a long explanation about it which might not be at all relevant to the person asking the question...
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Mike Baldock
RootsChat Member
Posts: 110
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Sure, but how would you answer a question thus:
Hi Dobby, how do you relate to Mrs X [your great grandmother's sister's husband's sister]?
I think I probably would reply 'Through the Xs' and if that seemed relevant to the questioner they could follow it up - but if that wasn't the info they wanted - ie because it wasn't a correct marriage or something - they'd not need to reply.
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Mike Baldock
RootsChat Member
Posts: 110
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I feel I have to put up a defence for this person cos I know I've sent similar replies 
I get about 10-20 queries usually from genesreunited each day about my tree - I assume most of them come from 'hot matches' where folks send off half a dozen or more - 'How are you related to X'
If they don't give me access to their tree and provide no more info they'll probably get a Thru the X's type reply and no access... or I might grant access and no reply depending on how grumpy I'm feeling...
Politeness kinda runs out after several of these and the latter queries get the shortest replies.
But if someone provides some decent background and access to their tree so I can check if there's a match, then they'll get as much info as I have, and I'll probably run it through Ancestry too...
But I don't really think of my Thru the Xs as being rude - just an invite to follow up if it's relevant.
TBH I'm just glad I don't have any Prouds in my tree - cos otherwise it just might have been me that the thread was written about
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LizzieW
RootsChat Marquessate
Posts: 3273
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a short reply is often a man-mail, they don't tend to elaborate as much as the ladies
I agree there, it doesn't matter what an e-mail is about, or to whom it is sent, if my husband writes it, it sounds very curt. He doesn't mean it to come across like that, but he doesn't add the niceties that women would. It's the same if he's writing letters, so he always gets me to check them over now before he sends them.
Lizzie
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BENSON- Dalton in Furness (Ulverston) and Hull
BETTISON - Derbys
BOULTON - Dalton-in-Furness and surrounding areas
BRAND - Lincs
COCKETT - Lincs, Yorks, Lancs
DA COSTA (or variants) - Spain or Portugal, London (Middx), ?Hull
GILCHRIST - Scotland, Lincs
HINGLEY - Derbys/Yorks
MANN - Sussex, Kent, Herts
MUMBY - Lincolnshire and Hull
PEMBERTON - Ches, Lancashire
STANTON - Lincs
ROBINSON - Lincs
WHITTAKER/WHITAKER - Ches/Lancs
WRIGHT- Bethnal Green
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Mike Baldock
RootsChat Member
Posts: 110
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'Man mail' 
Totaly sexist garbage!
true of course though 
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Roobarb
RootsChat Veteran
Posts: 865
Looking for that elusive branch!
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Just to clarify - and although it's a long time ago I can still remember - I didn't just write 'What's your connection to ......?', I told him (yes him!) my connection. The reply I would have expected to get would be something on the lines of 'Hi, ........ was my gt gt grandfather'. Maybe he has got a nice wife by now who will teach him some manners.
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Bell, Salter, Street - Devon, Middlesbrough. Lickess- North Yorkshire, Middlesbrough. Etherington - North Yorks and Durham. Barker- North Yorks, Crooks- Durham, Forster- North Yorks/Durham, Newsam, Pattison, Proud - North Yorks
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stormyfeathers
RootsChat Pioneer
Posts: 0
Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
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Hi, I also had an odd encounter on Ancestry.com. I posted several very old photographs, some are 150 years old of my great grand-father & my nanna Hicks. As you may know, on the home-page when we bring up our tree, it shows who has copied your photographs to their tree. Well, I tried to contact this person to see why or if she may be related. I have received no response & her tree is private. There is also no query or message in the message boards from her regarding anything, let alone about the Hicks family.
Very frustrating - I had nagged those photographs from my elderly mother & someone has copied them to their tree without a word.[b][/b]
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of Corri St.