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Topic: R.I.P. .... but with a smile ! (Read 3404 times)
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Berlin-Bob
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by My Daughter. Chatting to find her Roots !
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These crop up every so often as examples of gravestone inscriptions.
I have my doubts whether they actually appeared on any gravestone, but they're still good for a chuckle:
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lie two Woods,
one inside the other.
One Wood is very good,
I cannot praise the other !
Or the horticultural widower :
This spot is the sweetest I've seen in my life,
It raises my flowers and covers my wife !
Here's another misogynist
(this one is possibly true - from a tombstone in Sutton Parish Churchyard ?)
Here lies my poor wife
Without bed or blankit.
But dead as a door nail,
God be thankit
For smokers:
It wasn't the cough, that carried him off,
It was the coffin they carried him off in !
That was the full, hardbook edition, by the way.
The 'Reader's Digest Condensed Books' version looked like this:
Chapter 1:
coughin'
Chapter 2:
coffin.
And to finish off ( *cheers* ) ----- for now ! (*groans*):
He passed the bobby without any fuss
And he passed the cart of hay,
He tried to pass a swerving bus,
And then he passed away.
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« Last Edit: Friday 06 April 07 15:11 BST (UK) by Berlin-Bob »
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Searching for Coleman, Moore, Kallnung in London; Margulies, Remenyi in E. Europe; Ancestors of Hessie Stevenson-Coleman-Baxter (Ireland, 1861) and, of course, any other ancestors for my web-site. All Census Data included in this post is Crown Copyright (see: www.nationalarchives.gov.uk) |
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Berlin-Bob
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by My Daughter. Chatting to find her Roots !
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A husband's Epitaph:
As I am now,so you must be
Therefore prepare to follow me.
The wife's Epitaph:
To follow you I'm not content
How do I know which way you went ?
On a Hosier: By his Hannah:
He left his hose, his Hannah, and his love
To sing Hosannahs in the world above
A Dentist:
Stranger, approach this spot with gravity !
John Brown is filling his last cavity.
A drink before we go, Cider, anyone ?
There was an old lady of Ryde
Who ate some green apples and died
The apples (fermented inside the lamented)
made cider inside 'er inside
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Searching for Coleman, Moore, Kallnung in London; Margulies, Remenyi in E. Europe; Ancestors of Hessie Stevenson-Coleman-Baxter (Ireland, 1861) and, of course, any other ancestors for my web-site. All Census Data included in this post is Crown Copyright (see: www.nationalarchives.gov.uk) |
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tomkin
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Posts: 2386
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I was reading a history of the village in which I
live, written in 1922 by the then vicar. He records
the inscriptions on the tombstones.
He says this one must have belonged to a man who
liked his liquor too well.
Who lies here? Why who do you think?
Old Tommy Hardcastle,give him some drink.
A dead man drink, for why?
Because in his lifetime he was always dry.
Does anybody else know of any amusing inscriptions?
Tomkin.
Moderator Comment: topics merged
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« Last Edit: Friday 04 January 08 09:50 GMT (UK) by Berlin-Bob »
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JillJ
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Posts: 1552
Exhumation is my game
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Here's a few:
Beneath this silent stone is laid
A noisy, talkative old maid,
Whose tongue was only stayed by death,
And ne'er before was out of breath.
Anon.
Here lie I by the chancel door;
They put me here because I was poor.
The further in, the more you pay,
But here lie I as snug as they.
Anon - on a Devon tombstone.
My fire's extinct, my forge decayed,
And in the Dust my Vice is laid.
My coals are spent, my iron's gone
My Nails are Drove, my Work is done.
William Strange (?-1746) Epitaph
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Jowett, Broadbent & Ellis in Leeds. Perry, Hartshorn/e & Wilkes in Birmingham & Dudley. Walker and Dabill in Sheffield & Notts. Farrar in Darlington. Kidd & Taylor in Hartlepool & Teesside Census information is crown copyright from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk |
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Berlin-Bob
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by My Daughter. Chatting to find her Roots !
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Fovant, Wiltshire
"To Osmunde Martin, died 12 Ap. 1777, and to other. of his family ...
All you that come our grave to see
As we are now so must you be
As you are now so once were we,
So go your way, prepared to die
When you are dead and in your grave
Then no repentance you can have.
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Searching for Coleman, Moore, Kallnung in London; Margulies, Remenyi in E. Europe; Ancestors of Hessie Stevenson-Coleman-Baxter (Ireland, 1861) and, of course, any other ancestors for my web-site. All Census Data included in this post is Crown Copyright (see: www.nationalarchives.gov.uk) |
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KathMc
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Posts: 2620
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These are wonderful. I personally won't have room on my stone for any of these witticisms. I intend to put my lineage back several generations, to make it easy for my descendants in 100 years. 
Kath
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Sligo: Davey (also Mayo), McCluskey, McNulty
Wexford and Staffordshire: Hayes, McClean
Galway and Staffordshire: Scott
Coventry: Wells, Collins, Palmer, Moody, Beck, Mickelwright, Husbands
Ireland: McNulty (Sligo), Kealy, Murphy (Carlow) Connolly, Gillen, Powell, Ryan, Moore, Martin
Davis from I don't know where originally
Stahl, Russia to England to USA
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GalaxyJane
RootsChat Senior
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Posts: 315
His Mistress' Voice...
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They will probably have digital tombstones soon. You know, like those digital photoframes you can get nowadays.
Then you could have your whole tree on there, with photos, and maybe a bit of video...
time: 3007
place: Green Fields Repose Center, Greater Mousehole
Oh look, Mummy, there's umpty great grandma Blogg's grave. Goodness, they only had one head in those days....
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Rewcastle
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Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
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And as the old woman who was sick of husband put on his headstone "Under this sod, lies another old sod"
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Berlin-Bob
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by My Daughter. Chatting to find her Roots !
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From Burlington Vt.
She lived with her husband fifty years
And died in the confident hope of a better life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From La Pointe, Wis.
To the Memory of Abraham Beaulieu
Born 15 September 1822
Accidentally shot 4th April 1844
As a mark of affection from his brother.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a Ribbesford, England cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
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Searching for Coleman, Moore, Kallnung in London; Margulies, Remenyi in E. Europe; Ancestors of Hessie Stevenson-Coleman-Baxter (Ireland, 1861) and, of course, any other ancestors for my web-site. All Census Data included in this post is Crown Copyright (see: www.nationalarchives.gov.uk) |
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KathMc
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Bob, I will have to send that last one to my lawyer brothers. They will get a kick out of that.
Kath
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Sligo: Davey (also Mayo), McCluskey, McNulty
Wexford and Staffordshire: Hayes, McClean
Galway and Staffordshire: Scott
Coventry: Wells, Collins, Palmer, Moody, Beck, Mickelwright, Husbands
Ireland: McNulty (Sligo), Kealy, Murphy (Carlow) Connolly, Gillen, Powell, Ryan, Moore, Martin
Davis from I don't know where originally
Stahl, Russia to England to USA
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patrish
RootsChat Marquessate
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Posts: 3491
BACK AGAIN
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I did not read it all, rather long, but I did have a good laugh, thanks
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this information is Crown Copyright. from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk London Hall, Thurston Stanley, Phillips, Ayrton, White, Morrish, Smith. West Ham/Barking Saint,Briggs, Essex Barker, Hampshire Kill, Kent Spong, U.S.A Earp, Scotland/Cumbria Templeton, Devon Morrish, Chudley |
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Cybermouse
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Posts: 139
Grand lady Hannah Holloway Booth
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And another
"Here lies John Dunn
He was killed by a gun
His name was not Dunn but Wood
But Wood would not rhyme with gun
But Dunn would"
Seems they had a pretty good sense of humour even in the dark ages, LOL
Bron
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Booth of Derbyshire, Susquehanna, PA and Victoria, Australia, Rogers of Lincolnshire and Yorkshire, Denial, Naylor of Yorkshire, Holloway of Staffordshire, Birch of Staffordshire, Pike of London and NSW, Australia. UK census data is Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk |
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