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Topic: Advice required - how do I approach long lost mother? (Read 1746 times)
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daval57
RootsChat Aristocrat
 Offline
Posts: 2289
grandfather's shop, Orr St, Bridgeton, Glasgow
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Thank you. I'm still on a high.
My dad and mum were best man and maid of honour at the original wedding.
Carol is one of many FIRST cousins I have but we've always been particularly close.
To have been instrumental in getting Carol and Rena back together means so much to me.
I am so delighted for Carol and her Mum.
Sorry, I think I said that.
I'm hoping once things calm down a bit, I'll get together with Rena too.
By the way, I feel I can mention names now. Maybe silly but I didn't want to at first in the off chance that for some reason it could have messed things up. Not sure what my logic was.
Photo attached is the wedding photo, left to right, my dad, Alex, my uncle, Elphie (Elphinstone), Rena (Carols mum) and my mum Mary.
The sun has got his hat on, hip hip hip hooray..........
Dave
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------------------- FORREST (Glasgow, Stirlingshire, Dunbartonshire) BORTHWICK (Midlothian) ROONEY (Glasgow and Co Down, Co Antrim) ANDERSON (Moray, Caithness, Glasgow) FORTUNE (East Lothian) BARKER (Midlothian / East Lothian) SIVES / SIBBES and variations (East Lothian) ROCHEAD /ROCHEID and variations (Dunbartonshire) OR VISIT MY SITE FOR MORE NAMES http://daval57.tribalpages.com/access code: aldav5257Census information is Crown Copyright |
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MarieC
RootsChat Marquessate
Offline
Posts: 3136
In Queensland, Oz
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Fantastic! I love a happy ending! I'm thrilled for your cousin, Dave!
MarieC
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Martins in London and Wales, Lockwoods in Yorkshire, Hartleys in London, Lichfield and Brighton, Hubands and Smiths in Ireland, Bentleys in London and Yorkshire, Denhams in Somerset, Scoles in London, Meyers in London, Cooks in Northumberland
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judi2632
RootsChat Veteran
Offline
Posts: 744
Census information Crown Copyright, from www.natio
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Hi Dave
Like many others I have been following the story.
Today I have a great smile on my face ..... What a great result for you all.
I hope the relationship for your Cousin, Aunt & new family can be rekindled & they go on to have a fantastic relationship.
These stories & this site never cease to amaze me ..Congratulations & GREAT work
Judi
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Gaskell, Ormskirk, Upholland, Pemberton, Lancashire
Screeton/Screaton, Nottingham
Lomax Suffolk, Lancashire
Ghilks, Mansfield
Jones, Wales
Banham, Norwich
Rothwell, Lancashire
Tinks, Suffolk
Shepherd, Lancashire
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Josephine
RootsChat Aristocrat
Offline
Posts: 1287
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Thanks for sharing the happy news, Dave!
Regards,
Josephine
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Barnett (Chatham, Kent)
Beaumont (Gillingham, Kent)
Christy (Shropshire, Lancashire & Cheshire)
George (London area, incl. Bethnal Green)
Holland (Cheshire)
Parker (Chatham, Kent)
Pope (Middlesex)
Salisbury (Cheshire)
Simmons (Kent)
Cunningham, Dobson, Easton, Muir, Pryde & Oliver (Scotland to Canada)
Carson, Colbert, Colclough, Coy, McGlinchey, Riley, Rooney, Trotter & Waters (Ireland to Canada)
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daval57
RootsChat Aristocrat
Offline
Posts: 2289
grandfather's shop, Orr St, Bridgeton, Glasgow
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It's brilliant Josephine, isn't it!
I still can't get over it!
I'm still confused as to how I feel about it - so how Carol and her Mum feel? ??
that's going to be really strange / lovely / weird etc etc .........
I might hit you all with 'stuff' here every now and then. just to get it off my chest. Hope you don't mind. (and that is going to be selfish)
Dave
xxxxx
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------------------- FORREST (Glasgow, Stirlingshire, Dunbartonshire) BORTHWICK (Midlothian) ROONEY (Glasgow and Co Down, Co Antrim) ANDERSON (Moray, Caithness, Glasgow) FORTUNE (East Lothian) BARKER (Midlothian / East Lothian) SIVES / SIBBES and variations (East Lothian) ROCHEAD /ROCHEID and variations (Dunbartonshire) OR VISIT MY SITE FOR MORE NAMES http://daval57.tribalpages.com/access code: aldav5257Census information is Crown Copyright |
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MarieC
RootsChat Marquessate
Offline
Posts: 3136
In Queensland, Oz
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We'd love to hear how it goes, Dave! Please keep us updated!!!
MarieC
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Martins in London and Wales, Lockwoods in Yorkshire, Hartleys in London, Lichfield and Brighton, Hubands and Smiths in Ireland, Bentleys in London and Yorkshire, Denhams in Somerset, Scoles in London, Meyers in London, Cooks in Northumberland
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KathMc
RootsChat Aristocrat
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Posts: 2658
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Marie is right. This is a fascinating story and we are so happy it seems to be working out, and curious to see what is down the road.
Kath
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Sligo: Davey (also Mayo), McCluskey, McNulty
Wexford and Staffordshire: Hayes, McClean
Galway and Staffordshire: Scott
Coventry: Wells, Collins, Palmer, Moody, Beck, Mickelwright, Husbands
Ireland: McNulty (Sligo), Kealy, Murphy (Carlow) Connolly, Gillen, Powell, Ryan, Moore, Martin
Davis from I don't know where originally
Stahl, Russia to England to USA
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Josephine
RootsChat Aristocrat
Offline
Posts: 1287
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Dave,
My grandparents divorced when my father was four years old. My father never saw his mother again. She tried to visit her sons once or twice but my grandfather wouldn't let her. (He was being cruel.)
My father always wanted to search for his mother but, in those days, you had to hire a private detective and my parents never had the money.
A few months after my father died, we were informed of his mother's death. Apparently, the province she died in required by law that descendants be notified, even though they weren't mentioned in the will.
The year before she died, I kept thinking, "I wonder what happened to ______". But I didn't know where to look or what to do. I didn't even have her correct surname at the time (maiden name or second married name).
A few years later, hers was the first family I researched. It wasn't easy.
I am truly happy for your cousin, your aunt and you. I hope you do give us updates.
You did well, Dave.
All the best,
Josephine
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Barnett (Chatham, Kent)
Beaumont (Gillingham, Kent)
Christy (Shropshire, Lancashire & Cheshire)
George (London area, incl. Bethnal Green)
Holland (Cheshire)
Parker (Chatham, Kent)
Pope (Middlesex)
Salisbury (Cheshire)
Simmons (Kent)
Cunningham, Dobson, Easton, Muir, Pryde & Oliver (Scotland to Canada)
Carson, Colbert, Colclough, Coy, McGlinchey, Riley, Rooney, Trotter & Waters (Ireland to Canada)
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KathMc
RootsChat Aristocrat
Offline
Posts: 2658
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Wow Josephine. That's rough. My mom had a similar situation. My mother always knew when her dad was in town because her mother would pick her up from school instead of having her take the trolley home, because she didn't want my grandfather to see her. My mom finally reconnected with her dad in the late 70s, and we all got to meet him, but sadly he died 6 months later. That was the first family I researched when I started too.
Kath
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Sligo: Davey (also Mayo), McCluskey, McNulty
Wexford and Staffordshire: Hayes, McClean
Galway and Staffordshire: Scott
Coventry: Wells, Collins, Palmer, Moody, Beck, Mickelwright, Husbands
Ireland: McNulty (Sligo), Kealy, Murphy (Carlow) Connolly, Gillen, Powell, Ryan, Moore, Martin
Davis from I don't know where originally
Stahl, Russia to England to USA
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Josephine
RootsChat Aristocrat
Offline
Posts: 1287
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Kath,
I'm glad your mother was able to reconnect with her father and that you were able to meet him.
My father wasn't raised by his mother. She (my grandmother) wasn't raised by her parents. Her mother (my great-grandmother) was estranged from her own father (my g-g-grandfather).
What a mess, all the way down the line.
Regards,
Josephine
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Barnett (Chatham, Kent)
Beaumont (Gillingham, Kent)
Christy (Shropshire, Lancashire & Cheshire)
George (London area, incl. Bethnal Green)
Holland (Cheshire)
Parker (Chatham, Kent)
Pope (Middlesex)
Salisbury (Cheshire)
Simmons (Kent)
Cunningham, Dobson, Easton, Muir, Pryde & Oliver (Scotland to Canada)
Carson, Colbert, Colclough, Coy, McGlinchey, Riley, Rooney, Trotter & Waters (Ireland to Canada)
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ambers
RootsChat Veteran
Offline
Posts: 751
Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
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Hi Dave,
What a great outcome  , plus a new beginning for them.
Well done you for making it possible 
Ambers
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GLAMORGAN: Evans. Davies. Eddy. Bradnum.
PEMBROKE: Bradnum. Summers
CARMARTHENSHIRE: Davies. Jones
NORFOLK/SUFFOLK: Bradnum. Helsdon. Cork. Whiskins. Fairhead.Catchpole.
DEVON: Mallett. Acford, Kidston. Short. Lover. Dampier, Johns, Edwards,Telford. Sparrow
SOMERSET: Masey
CORNWALL: Eddy. Thomas. Maddern. Harvey. Noy.Reynolds,Batten, Curtis. Tregenza,Trebilcock
Warwickshire: Mountney
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Lones
RootsChat Aristocrat
Offline
Posts: 1954
Dad & Mum
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Hey Dave 
I have just read through this thread, well done mate  . What a brilliant outcome. Your cousin must be on cloud nine  . You have done a really nice thing, you should be proud!!
I am so sorry to read all the other sad posts, it is terrible when people become bitter and resentful, it is always the children that suffer  .
On the other hand, I wanted my ex to stay in my childrens lives and he wasn't interested. Now 20 years later he has changed his mind, but they are not interested in him, they say he is a stranger they do not know..... You just can't win sometimes....
Anyway, I am very happy for you and your cousin Dave, excellent news
Lones
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Please feel free to alter or improve any restorations or colourisations submitted by me for the benefit of the Postee and their memories
Smith, Warwick Shire
Ashwell, Buckminster Leicester
Brown, Kent
OBrien/Brien, Cork
Dunstan, Stithians Corwall
Beard, Stithians Corwall
Penman, Midlothian, Perth or Fife
Dick, Fife
Ruddock, Staindrop Durham
Willis, Ingleton Durham
Gibbon, Kirkby Ravensworth
Lazenby, Middleton Yorkshire
Bradley, London
Ware, London
Pink, Bath
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trish251
RootsChat Marquessate
Offline
Posts: 8870
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Hi Dave
I just browsed the thread as well - it's rather fun reading it late because you get the mystery, the concern and the fabulous result all at once. I'm so pleased it worked out & so wonderful that they were both looking for each other.
Trish
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daval57
RootsChat Aristocrat
Offline
Posts: 2289
grandfather's shop, Orr St, Bridgeton, Glasgow
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Thanks all for your comments.
I sent Carol the link to this thread so that she could see the sort of people I'm involved with.
She knows, after the event, that you helped us figure out how to do things.
At the end of the day, Carol decided herself what to do and it worked out.
What Carol said to me in an email was along the lines of ... well basically, she said, she thought it was amazing that so many strangers were so interested and cared.
Kinda sums up RC for me.
(PS - I'll still say the wrong thing most nights - love a sarcastic comment every now and then!)
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------------------- FORREST (Glasgow, Stirlingshire, Dunbartonshire) BORTHWICK (Midlothian) ROONEY (Glasgow and Co Down, Co Antrim) ANDERSON (Moray, Caithness, Glasgow) FORTUNE (East Lothian) BARKER (Midlothian / East Lothian) SIVES / SIBBES and variations (East Lothian) ROCHEAD /ROCHEID and variations (Dunbartonshire) OR VISIT MY SITE FOR MORE NAMES http://daval57.tribalpages.com/access code: aldav5257Census information is Crown Copyright |
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