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Topic: mums worried (Read 312 times)
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nora T
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my mum age 84 lives 100 miles away from me,so we keep in touch by phone, shehas been quite helpful with family information, but i dont think she really approves of all this digging around , She hated her father,{with good reason} and was,nt that fond of her mother, so i have to be a bit careful, when telling her things, but during the last phone call to her, she suddenly got quite agitated and said " oh dear that lot at church won,t be able to find out all about my business with their blasted computer will they," My mum has been married twice, and started a second life where she now lives, and i dont think she told any one about her first life, I have told her things i have done on the pc..and now she is thinking, any one can get information about her,I tried to put her mind at rest , but i don,t think i will mention family history, or pc,s , for a while, when i phone her, just shows how careful you have to be, regards nora,
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i am researching the timmis family salop. staffs, and cheshire, also the culverwell family, congleton cheshire,and staffs.also jervis, jarvis, staffs and wales,also reece, staffs and dudley
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Welsh Jen
Dyfal donc a dyr yr garreg!
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Oh dear  I have the same problem with my nan (who is 82) they do not like rattling those skeletons in the cupboard! If your Mother is anything like my Grandmother then don't mention family history at all 
My Grandmother will not tell me anything at all about her past or family members. It is truly annoying when I say to her "Oh so your Mother was born in **** year & ******* was her birthplace" & she will reply "hhmmmm yes, that's right" Shame she wouldn't tell me before I spend money & lots of time finding the information she already knew out!!!!!!!!!
Hope your Mother isn't too worried, next time you talk to her on the phone talk about the weather it is a safer bet! 
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c w
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Since asking my mum a few questions about her family I have learnt my gt. gt.grandfather was a wifebeater. His wife would hide the children in the wardrobe. At first this made me feel very sad as my nan ( his daughter) was a lovely, kind woman. She had spent her childhood in a wheelchair, but as a young woman had grown in strength and had worked in a builders yard carrying bricks.
My mother gave me this information willingly and without any embarressment, and even though my nan has passed on some years ago I have found her not only to be a loving person, but have realised how strong a character she always has been.
If however, she had been still alive now I would not have spoken to her of her father's behaviour not wishing to cause her any distress.
So, I suppose what I am trying to say is - we are all eager to take on this quest to find our ancestors, but it is those we have around us now that are the most important.
So some things are best left to lie.
Caroline 
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Chidgey (west Somerset) Morgan(Radnorshire & Tredegar, Mon.) Griffiths (Tredegar, Mon.) Morgan (Monmouthshire) Census information is Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk |
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nora T
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Hi Caroline, and Welsh Jen, Yes you are both right, and unless she asks me I will not mention family history, or computers again to her,I think her real fear is, that if i can find things out about people on the pc, other people can find things out about her,not that she has much to hide i am sure, thanks again for taking an interest, regards. nora
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i am researching the timmis family salop. staffs, and cheshire, also the culverwell family, congleton cheshire,and staffs.also jervis, jarvis, staffs and wales,also reece, staffs and dudley
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nora T
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It is a very difficult thing Vanessa, these old people are very private, and things we take forgranted today like second marriages, and unwed mums, they still think should not be common knowledge, thanks for your reply. nora
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i am researching the timmis family salop. staffs, and cheshire, also the culverwell family, congleton cheshire,and staffs.also jervis, jarvis, staffs and wales,also reece, staffs and dudley
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Paul E
Guest
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Hi Nora
I understand your mother's sensitivities. It is very hard for people of older generations to understand how the technology works. This is a two way thing, of course... my mother thinks I just have to type a name in the computer and up pops all the info!
Incidentally, my grandmother celebrated her 100th birthday last year. The day centre she visited prepared a This Is Your Life folder for her, after talking to my mum and her sister, as well as to grandma.
I was able to have a look at it, and discovered that she was married in June 1928, and that her first child was born in December 1928.
I'm fortunate that I have a good relationship with mum and grandma, so I was able to tease her about it, and the fact that she had unwittingly revealed a 76 year old secret!
I'm sure at the time, though, it was as common as it probably is today. Now she can laught at it, though, as times have changed.
Best wishes
Paul
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carol8353
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Posts: 4176
Henry and Florence ROGERS- my grandparents
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And I thought my generation invented sex in the 1960's 
If my family is anything to go by,loads of them had very short pregnancies way back then.
When I was young I used to listen for hours to my gran with stories of her 'big' brothers.Did I take it all in??? Did I hell !!!
Or is it just that I've forgotten any of the facts now I'm actually doing my family history.
Not sure how gran would have felt about all this digging though.
My mum is 'trying' to give me as much family info as poss,but at 77 she only remembers what she wants to remember And why was no one actual called the names they were christened? Making it a hundred times more difficult for us to trace them.
Carol
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Census information is Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.ukRogers, Rapkin, Phillips - Hammersmith/Fulham/Paddington areas Worth Bailey, Heapy, Burgess. All Macclesfield Cheshire Mockridge,West Monkton Somerset Jenner,Clapham Surrey Kendrick,Liverpool Wensley,Somerset Coleman and Mc Namara from Ennis, Co Clare, Ireland Blake and Maloney from Kilbaha Co Clare, Ireland |
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nora T
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Posts: 337
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I think you have got it right,Paul E , mum does think you just hit the key board, and out comes all the info, dirty washing and all, and she now lives a totally different life, she has lived about 40 years in this area, where she was born,and so were we{her first family} and about 40 odd years 100 miles away, with a new husband and child, and she has kept her old life pretty secret,and is terrified, somebody with a pc.can dig up her history, she is now on her own, as she was widowed last august, and my half sister lives in london, but she refuses, to come back and live over here, where her first family all live,because my dad and his second wife, are still alive, and live here also. what a mess!.and Carol yes we did think we invented sex in the sixties, didnt we? Ican only say i have had my eyes opened, since i started digging into the past, nothing changes, just goes round and round, every body doing their own thing, in 1860 or 1960, thanks both of you for your interest, regards nora
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i am researching the timmis family salop. staffs, and cheshire, also the culverwell family, congleton cheshire,and staffs.also jervis, jarvis, staffs and wales,also reece, staffs and dudley
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