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Topic: Should I broach the subject? (Read 638 times)
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MarieC
RootsChat Marquessate
Posts: 3301
In Queensland, Oz
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Hi Cara
I can't answer the question about birth registration (and am not sure what country you are in anyway!  ) but my instinct is to leave this alone.
You only suspect that this aunt-in-law was illegitimate - you may never be able to prove it. If you had proof positive it may be different. But is it worth upsetting your M-i-L, to whom you are not particularly close, over a mere suspicion? If she is a traditional Catholic, she probably doesn't want to acknowledge this as a possibility anyway.
My approach is to tread carefully on delicate family history matters, unless you are sure that more good than harm will come from your speaking up. I told my aged aunt, who has been a good Anglican all her life, that her Catholic gggrandparents went through two marriage ceremonies - one in a Catholic church that the State did not recognise, one in a Church of England the following day for official purposes. There was nothing improper about this, but she was disapproving - she didn't think it was right for people to get married twice. So I dropped the subject and haven't mentioned it again!
MarieC
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Martins in London and Wales, Lockwoods in Yorkshire, Hartleys in London, Lichfield and Brighton, Hubands and Smiths in Ireland, Bentleys in London and Yorkshire, Denhams in Somerset, Scoles in London, Meyers in London, Cooks in Northumberland
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Ruskie
RootsChat Marquessate
Posts: 4702
Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
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I think that it is very possible that the baby was registered in the mother's surname and then the parents went on to marry later.
I don't think that it necesarily followed that the baby must be registered in the father's name if the father was known.
As we don't know the full circumstances of the baby's birth it's difficult to speculate. Do you have the birth certificate? Is a father named?
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Gaille
RootsChat Senior
Posts: 418
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Hi Cara I can't answer the question about birth registration (and am not sure what country you are in anyway! ) but my instinct is to leave this alone. MarieC
Yeah mine would be the same, steer clear of it (even if only for now) if you are curious enough its easy enough to get a copy of her birth cert & see, but I wouldnt discuss it with her, she obviously knows what she wasnts you to know & she has told you her 'version' so stay with it & keep the peace!
At the end of the day its not worth antagonising someone you have to live with and dont particularly get along with!
Gaille
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Manchester – Bate(s) / Bebbington / Coppock or Coppart / Evans / Mitchell / Prince / Smith
Cheshire Latchford – Bibby / Savage / Smith.
Cheshire Macclesfield, Bollington & Rainow – Childs / Flint / Mc'rea
Cheshire Crewe – Bate(s) / Bebbington
Shropshire Wellington, Wobwell – Smith
Walsall Midds – Smith
Also looking for:
Mc'Rea/McCrea – Ireland to Cheshire
And
any relatives of Margaret Bibby married to Thomas Smith all over country
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silvery
RootsChat Aristocrat
Posts: 2292
information Crown Copyright, from www.nation
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For unmarried parents, both have to be at the registration. It's always been the same, although some women just said they were married to the father, or gave the child the father's surname as a middle name.
If you m-i-l 's sister was born in 1945 and her mother didn't marry until 1948, my feeling is that he is not the father. The gap is too long.
I would let sleeping dogs lie, as they say, as there is nothing to be gained from bringing the matter up.
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Spidermonkey
RootsChat Aristocrat
Posts: 1043
Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
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Personally, I too think this is one to be kept to yourself. I'm not sure how I would feel to be told at 60 odd that the person I always thought to be my father wasn't.
If she knows that her parents married after she was born, then I guess she is aware of the possibility that he isn't her father, but is choosing to deal with it in the way that she wants.
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beadagirl
RootsChat Pioneer
Posts: 0
Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
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This is very similar to my story or should I say my family story. My Father and Uncle were both born out of wedlock one in 1948, the other in 1949. I too was confused as my Grandad's name is nowhere to be seen on the birth certificate - my Nan too was Catholic! Anyway, I contacted the registry office and it was the same then as it is today, that if unmarried and not present - the father couldn't be named on the certificate. My Grandad was away fighting in the war and was only with her periodically. They married in 1950 once it was all over. No great mystery just a consequence of a war torn nation 
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