I read the posts with great interest. My great-great-great grandparents are Daniel Bell and Elizabeth Shand, and I think that I can help. Daniel spent the last 30 years of his life in the Kew Asylum where he died. Some of his family were embarrassed, and one or two of his daughters recorded him as dead on their marriage certificates when indeed he was alive and in the asylum. His wife Elizabeth and daughter Jessie Annie kept visiting him though. Daniel died there in 1895, and Elizabeth two years later. Daniel's family and friends tried to keep him out of the asylum, but it just didn't work. On one occasion at home, Daniel tried to kill himself in the middle of the night, but Alexander Barclay from the Barclay Mill where he was employed, was staying at the house to help look after him, and saved his life by grabbing the barrel of the gun which discharged into Alexander's hand. Alexander Barclay married Daniel's daughter Jessie Annie Bell two years later, and they became my great-great grandparents.
Please let me know how I can help. I think I have plenty more to tell. I am also very interested to know what you have found out about the Shand family. I look forward to hearing from all my newly found relatives!