Author Topic: EU CHRISTMAS  (Read 2558 times)

Offline 7igerby7he7ail

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EU CHRISTMAS
« on: Sunday 19 December 04 15:06 GMT (UK) »
IMPORTANT NOTICE – WINTER HOLIDAYS
EUROPEAN DIRECTIVE

The following paper is a brief outline of the European Parliament Directive regarding Christmas and New Year holidays henceforth to be known as Winter Holiday

1/  Christmas will be from now on be called Winter Holiday, no religious ceremonies must be allowed to take place over the holiday period.
[Euro .Dir 3:1/ Rel.Cer /8]

2/  Shepherds who watch their flocks by night must cease work after 8 hours and 15 minutes in line with set working hours limits.
Any shepherd seated on the ground must be supplied with the correct groundsheet.
Anyone visiting the shepherds must abide by the Ministry rules regarding BSE and carry the appropriate documentation.
[Euro .Dir Farm animals 89 / 4b sub.5]&[Euro Dir employment of farm workers / 7]

3/  If the cattle are lowing and the baby awakes, appropriate steps must be directed through your own National Noise Pollution Hotline.
[Euro. Dir. Farm noise  50 b /2/ sub 3]

4/  The holly and the ivy when they are both full grown have been deemed unsuitable as houseplants.
Holly is not child friendly and ivy could affect asthma sufferers.
[Euro. Dir. Plant s/ Domestic / Dangers of / 46/ sub 6a]

5/  All elves and goblins must be compliant with the health and safety at work acts of their own countries.
Team leaders must instruct all staff in their sections with hands on toy assembly sessions.
[Euro Dir. Production line assembly / diminutive workers / 12 / para.4]

6/  Sub-arctic animals [in this case reindeer] who have noses different to their companions, must not be allowed to be subjected to bullying or workplace harassment and must receive equal consideration under the relevant employment acts.
[Euro.Dir Animals/Employment of / 44 /sub 6]

7/  When riding in a one-horse open sleigh safety harnesses and headgear must be worn at all times.
The horse must not be exposed to temperatures of less than 5’C.
[Euro. Dir. Travel / Sleigh / Health and Safety / 6 / sub 3/ para 4.]
[Euro. Dir. Animals /  treatment of / 37/ 1:6]

7/ It is strictly forbidden for old men dressed in red to give gifts to children.
    “……………………………………………………climb down chimneys.
    “……………………………………………………employ elves and/or goblins.
[Euro. Dir .Protection of Minors Act / 54 /6] & [Euro. Dir Employment of minorities]

The full edition of the European Parliament Directive containing 8675 pages is available from H.M.S.O. at £35


 ;D
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GAUNT N Staffordshire,GAUNT Manchester.GUY,Shropshire, BARTLEY,Salford, Lancs, NEVILLE,Salford. PHILLIPS,Staffs, MAYER,Staffs,COSSAR,Berwick, E and Mid Lothian and Argyll. HIGGINS,Glasgowand Dunoon,Argyll.GALLAGHER,Argyll,IRISH,Herts.

Offline JillJ

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Re: EU CHRISTMAS
« Reply #1 on: Sunday 19 December 04 15:46 GMT (UK) »
Nice one Tom - a timely reminder of what the world, or at least the European part, is coming to!

Jill
Jowett & Broadbent in Leeds.
Perry, Hartshorn/e & Wilkes in Birmingham & Dudley. Walker and Dabill in Sheffield & Notts.
Farrar in Darlington & Leeds.
Kidd & Taylor in Hartlepool & Teesside
Census information is crown copyright from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk

Offline Hackstaple

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Re: EU CHRISTMAS
« Reply #2 on: Sunday 19 December 04 16:05 GMT (UK) »
I like that Gauntie but then I am, of course, a Euro-sceptic :D
Southern or Southan [Hereford , Monmouthshire & Glos], Jenkins, Meredith and Morgan [Monmouthshire and Glos.], Murrill, Damary, Damry, Ray, Lawrence [all Middx. & London], Nethway from Kenn or Yatton. Also Riley and Lyons in South Africa and Riley from St. Helena.
Any census information included in this post is Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk

Offline RJ_Paton

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Re: EU CHRISTMAS
« Reply #3 on: Sunday 19 December 04 20:16 GMT (UK) »
Quote
It is strictly forbidden for old men dressed in red to give gifts to children.

when you think of it .... most parents tell children for the greater part of the year
1. do not speak to strangers
2. tell the parents/police if a stranger tries to take their hand lift them on knee etc

Now we are to be led to believe that we need the authority to use sufficient physical force against anyone who breaks into our houses.

So at Xmas a perfect stranger enters our kids rooms leaves them sweeties and presents having overcome the security of our homes to do so ..... "Honest guv I was just delivering these presents ...... "

Is your reaction upon finding this intruder

A) oh thank you santa

or

B)a likely story- whack with big stick several times and call police


Offline RJ_Paton

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Re: EU CHRISTMAS
« Reply #4 on: Sunday 19 December 04 20:17 GMT (UK) »
 ;D  I forgot if your answer to the previous question is B ...... have reasonable alibi and several independant witnesses available to give your side of the story.