"Killing off" your relatives - do you do it, and what are you tips?

[clairec666]

I always try to tie up loose ends, and find out when and where people died. I was wondering how many of you do the same...

Anyway, here are my tips for locating deaths for relatives in England & Wales, after 1837. Please add your own!

• If their name is fairly rare, use FreeBMD to look for deaths, and eliminate those which are the wrong age. If their name is more common, I find Findmypast has a useful search form for the death index - you can enter the year of birth, plus/minus a few years. Take a note of deaths in a likely part of the country, and investigate them further. Remember, ages aren't recorded until 1866, and full dates of birth are recorded from 1969.
• Ordering lots of death certificates will be expensive, so I try to confirm I've found the right entry by other methods first.
• See if there's an entry on the probate calendar for any of the deaths you've found. This could confirm whether you've found the right death - e.g. it will include all middle names which might not be found in the death index (particularly after 1911), it will give the residence and place of death, marital condition (for women), and may give names of executors which are likely to be family members. Ancestry's probate calendar can be searched up to 1966, but you can look at the entries for free at https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/#calendar, which also has records up to 1995 which need to be searched manually. Remember that the entry may not appear in the year of death, so look at subsequent years too.
• Burial records can provide additional information too - e.g. residence, others buried in the same plot. If your relative died before 1866, their age won't be in the death index, but is likely to be on the burial record.
• Depending on the part of the country your relative died in (coverage varies), you may find a report of their death in the British Newspaper Archive. This may tell you where they lived, their job, and which family members attended their funeral.
• If you've got too many possible deaths to look at, you may be able to narrow them down using electoral rolls.
• If you're like me, there are probably lots of girls on your tree who were living with their families in the 1911 census, and you can't be sure if/when/where they married. I start by using FreeBMD to look for marriages in the area they were living in 1911, then trying to trace them in the 1939 register and death index using their married name. If you know their exact date of birth (from their birth certificate, or if you're lucky, their christening record or father's army records), they will be easier to locate in 1939. If you think you've found the right marriage, you can order the certificate to check. If you can't find a marriage around the time you would expect to, start looking for deaths as before - the probate calendar may say whether they're a spinster.
  
• If you can't find a death for a man born about 1880-1900, it's possible he was a war casualty, so have a look at all the military records at your disposal!
• If several members of the same family prove elusive, there's a chance they emigrated, so look for them in passenger lists.

Hope my tips help

[mike175]

Yes, I like to tie up those loose ends too and have used most of those methods. The only thing I would add is, don't dismiss death records just because they appear to be in the wrong area. I have an ancestor, born in Essex in the 1700s, spent most of his adult life in the West Midlands and died in Devon, where he happened to be working at the time. If he hadn't had an uncommon surname I might never have bothered with the death record.

Mike.

[pharmaT]

Yes I kill mine off.  I feel finding out how, when and where they died  tells us a bit more about how they lived so part of the story, also influences the lives of those around them.

The majority of my tree so far has been in Scotland and I have a list of things to find and go to an SP centre every so often.  Once I confirm a birth finding a death for that person is added to the bottom of the list.  I also check out newspapers for obits that can sometimes offer interesting titbits.

[StevieSteve]

One other suggestion for those dying between 1796 and 1857 is to check the Death Duty indexes on FindMyPast - the location and executor might help to confirm/rule out a death. They go up to 1903 but probably have less info than in the Probate Calendars after 1858

[andrewalston]

Yes, I try to tidy up the relatives in my tree, even splashing out on certificates for direct ancestors.

In my one-name study, "killing off" the possibilities is essential if I am ever going to work out who is related to whom. The cross-referencing of sources Claire refers to is inevitable.

In more than one case, I have found a likely marriage where a father and son had the same given name, and the first guess was that the marriage was of the son, who was of a marrying age. Tidying up the mother, though, showed that it was more likely to be the father marrying for a second time. Later discoveries confirmed this state of events.

It's surprising where you can find references to deaths. Newspaper announcements are still going strong - but don't forget "In Memoriam" and "Birthday Memories", which started appearing in the 20th century. These notices usually mention surviving relatives to help you narrow things down. I've even found references of a similar nature in social media posts.

[Pennines]

Yes -- I always attempt to find a death. This seems to be remarkably diificult in Ireland though -- as I have several deaths there which I cannot locate, even with the help of Rootschatters on the Ireland boards. Maybe I have several really old Irish ancestors still wandering about!

Where I do locate a likely death for my ancestor - I always obtain the death certificate (for those after July 1837). In Lancashire we have Lancashire BMD which gives ages at death from 1837 onwards, so long before they are shown on the Civil Registration Index. Other counties have local BMD sites as well - but I don't know if they also show ages at death. We have a free Lancashire On Line Parish Clerks site too and there are at least a couple of Cemetery Indexes on there - Burnley for one. It's often worth just googling a town name followed by the word 'burials' (without the quotes) - sometimes there are records on line to be found.

I did have some difficulty finding my Gt Grandfather's death though, he lived in Accrington, Lancs -- but I ended up sending for 3 incorrect certificates, before the 4th one (out of area) -- showed that he had died in Lancashire Asylum in Preston! I am glad I persevered as I was able to obtain his admission papers. Had it not been for his death I would never have known he had been in the Asylum - let alone died there.

In addition - I am a bit of a nerd and subscribe to Deceased On Line - so I check there as well. Then there's Find a Grave - and the Gravestone Photographic resource site. I have obtained at least 4 photographs of Yorkshire gravestones on this latter site. Might not sound many - but they were thrilling finds for me.

[clairec666]

Thanks everyone for your input

Something else I bear in mind - if you can't find a death record in the part of the country you expect, try looking in places where the person's children may have moved to. Elderly people, especially when widowed, often went to live with their offspring.

[relatedtoturnips]

I try to leave it as long as possible. I find it extremely despressing all those people, with dreams, hopes & aspirations are no longer here. Of course I know its logical that people die. But somehow it seems an insult to morality.

[Pennines]

Well --- what can I say about your user name! Certainly gave me a laugh this morning.
I shall call you 'Turnip' for short.

I know what you mean - but somehow - if you can find an actual gravestone (which is like finding gold dust!) -- it conversely brings the ancestor 'alive'. It does to me anyway.

In addition I have transcribed gravestones for my local Family History Society - and realising just how many people have gone before - helps me to think that my own future death won't be as scary. (Cheerful thought!)