My life is a lie in Maine

[Miss.k]

This may be long, and I'm sorry. I feel like it is always important to start with the backstory and work your way to your goal.

First off let me say, I don't even know what to do anymore. I don't know what to believe. I have been searching for my sister since I was 3 years old where I learned of her existence when my parents had their final blow out before they got divorced.

He shouted which seemed at the time, like a low blow at my mother. He stated he was leaving her and taking his daughter with him. I remember looking up at him with delight being a daddy's girl and saying your going to take me with you dad? He then sharply replied no, not you my other daughter.

That was the first time I learned of her existence. So, from that moment on I made it my mission to find out as much as I could. I eventually learned her name.

The thing is my dad would not tell me anything else. He even would say he doesn't remember her mothers name, that she was adopted, that her mom kicked him out, etc. My dad has always had a tendency to with hold the truth.

At a very young age I would consistently interrogate my mother for information about my sister and that benefited with finding out that my father had been married before. She wasn't sure if the woman was my sister's mother. So, the question came to be if she was not my sisters mother, which event took place first the marriage or the birth of his child.

I have recently with in the past few years, cut him out of my life based on what kind of person I found him to be. We had gotten in fights before then and I had gave him an ultimatums about giving me information about my sister  or he would loose me as a daughter and he would just keep saying the same lies.

I have done every search I could do on Google and looked at every possible result from that. I have searched Facebook for years now hoping I might be able to find his ex-wife who might hold the key. At this point in my life, I don't know what to do.

If anyone can give me any advice, tips, or go out on a limb and pay it forward with a good deed you have no idea what that would mean. I'm tired of feeling like I'm living with lies.

[Cas (stallc)]

Hello, and welcome.

I would just like to say, a little bit, or a lot of your heart is on that page.  I don't think I can help as you are across the pond.  But would like to send you cyber ((hugs))

You need about 3 posts before you can use the private msg system.  This will help the fab US researchers try help you.  Rootschat has a policy for not naming any living individuals, due to privacy, so you will need the PM system.

Good luck, hope you get answers

Cas 😀

[shellyesq]

Welcome to Roots Chat.  We have a policy against naming living or possibly living people here, but can give you general advice on how to proceed.

Do you have a rough idea of when your half-sister was born?  Did your father live in Maine or elsewhere prior to his marriage to your mother?  If you don't know where he lived, you may be able to track his whereabouts through other sources, like city directories or mentions in a newspaper or family members' obituaries.  That might help lead you to a place where your half-sister was born or information about his previous wife & her family.

Are there any other relatives of your father still living who might have further info about this part of his life? 

Aside from traditional sources, you may want to consider autosomal DNA testing through companies like Ancestry.com.  Ancestry often has a sale price of $79 for this testing.  Your half-sister or any children she has may be looking for you, too.  Even though you're not adopted, http://dnaadoption.com/ has lots of helpful information on using DNA testing to find unknown people.  The Facebook group DNA Detectives might be worth checking out once you have your results.