Warts and all...

[S128]

Hi there

So I have obviously been delving into my family history and I fill some family members in on the progress. My Grandmother is especially interested but I have found some people on her side of the family who seem to have a pretty colourful past. 

My 4x Great Grandfather which would have been her 3rd was convicted of attempted rape and also an assault with the intent to perish. Also larceny and he was also sued a whopping number of times. Then his Brother who would have been a great Uncle owned an illegal whiskey distillery and a brothel and at some point was also said to have attacked his wife and child and apparently the wife ''feared for her life'' according to newspaper reports.

I'm conflicted as to whether I tell her about this or leave it out of the family history? I obviously do not want to upset her but what have you found when informing older relatives about an ancestors criminal past?

Thanks

[Josephine]

You could broach the subject in general terms and see how she responds. You could say something like, "You know, Grandma, I was reading on this genealogy website about how sometimes people find out about things their ancestors did that weren't so nice. Some people said they'd want to know, no matter what it was, but others said they only wanted to hear about it if it was pleasant news. What do you think?"

[Mary8]

Me personally, i'd tell um!

If you found it, i'm sure other will and at the end of the day it's in the past.
Add's spice to the tree. Take a lot of Aussies, at one point they would hide their family history with convicts, now it's more a badge of honour for them. The same with Ireland's troubled past, these days many I.R.A early records are available. Nobody want's to be associated with modern day family criminals. Many people who's family have come a long way up the social ladder don't mind having a rouge in the history. Sometimes it's the only thing worth knowing in their tree 

Mary

[dowdstree]

How old is your grandmother ? How do you think she would receive this information ? The shock could be difficult for her to take.

Personally, I would leave out the criminal records bit initially and follow Josephine's suggestion. If you decide not to give her all the gory details you can always add them to your tree at a later date.

Dorrie

[groom]

Really, only you can decide, as you are the one who knows your grandmother best and probably have a good idea as to how she will react.

Presumably the person involved is unknown to your grandmother i.e. she would never have met him? That also makes a difference, I certainly wouldn't mention if it was a grandfather she knew as a child. The fact that she is interested could mean she wants to know, warts and all!

[Mary8]

You never know, like a lot of old people she might already know but didn't say anything all these years

Mary

[dowdstree]

Depends on how you define old Mary8   

[Mary8]

Definition of old = Older than me by a good few years & still having a pulse 

[mazi]

However old grandma is, she is unlikely to be much older than us and the friends we socialise with,
We did not exactly lead sheltered lives,  there was a war, then hippies and flower power and pitched battles between mods and rockers.  , so tell the facts but but no need to overdo the details.

Mike