Warts and all...

[jaybelnz]

My daughter has never married, but had a daughter at 19.  That daughter isn't married, is now 24, has a stable partner, and they are the parents of my new lovely great Grandaughter!

When I think about it, I was married at 26, then had 2 children, and then divorced when they were 12 & 13.

As with marriage, I think divorce was much more common, (but expensive) in the 1970's and 80's than it is now, and I have often wondered, is that one of the reasons that not so many youngsters get married these days - maybe particularly those whose parents got divorced.   Maybe we didn't set such a good example for them??  I tend to think that chn who grow up in a stable, secure and loving family environment, where there has not been divorce - are maybe more likely to marry??

I'm finding it hard to put into the right words, but I know what I mean...  >

[3sillydogs]

I think you may have something JB.  I saw a lot of my friends marry early, living together was still sorta frowned upon, most are now divorced, more than a few were from divorced parents.  My parents were married for nearly 30 years when my dad died, I married at 23 and have been married nearly 38 years.  On the other hand my daughter has been with her partner for nearly 10 years, not married.

I think the times have changed, living together is not frowned upon, it's just taken as normal these days, so there is no pressure to enter into marriage.

[groom]

To add to the last couple of posts - when I was at school years ago, there were only one or two children who lived with just one parent and that was often because the other one had died. Divorce wasn't spoken about and was often considered to be a bit of a disgrace. I remember when my cousin got divorced in the early 1960s it wasn't mentioned.

By the time I retired from teaching, one parent families were very common and it wasn't unusual to have siblings with the same mother but different fathers and different surnames. I often wonder how easy it will be for future genealogists to trace families without marriage certificates.

[3sillydogs]

True groom, a lot of my children's friends were from one parent families and many had siblings with different fathers. Now there are children whose parents are together but not married not to mention the same sex partners with children.  Really going to be a challenge for future genealogists!!!

[Nanna52]

I think you also need to remember that in days gone past they would say they were married and be Mr and Mrs XXXX, but no legal marriage took place as one of the partners could not legally marry.  They would quietly marry later when they could legally do so.

[3sillydogs]

That's true, or they moved to another town and presented  themselves as Mr & Mrs Whatever!!! The children would just have assumed mum and dad were married so no danger of being discovered.

[jaybelnz]

The last verse......these from the lips of the mighty Bob Dylan......

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.