DNA match to my tree?

[janetm]

Had a message from someone on Ancestry saying that we are family! She says she has a DNA match to me.....................okay green as grass when it comes to the complexities of DNA!....how can she say she is related to me if I have never taken a DNA test, also none of the names in her tree match mine ? Totally confused here ...................answers on back of postage stamp please or in very small doses so I may understand 

[davidft]

To be honest I think this is a try on. They are hoping you will open your tree to them which they will then plunder. Of course I could be mistaken and they may have spotted something that made them come to their conclusion therefore as a first step I would email back asking them why they think you are "family" and see what that brings. if they are just trying to plunder your tree you likely will not hear from them again.

I had a similar occurrence recently when someone emailed me and said they though we were related because of the "John Smith" (imaginary name) I had in my tree. Looking at the list of names they had in their tree there was nowhere I could make any connections so I emailed them back asking which "John Smith" they were interested in as I has six in my tree and I couldn't make a connection. Needless to say never heard from them again.

[janetm]

Methinks I will stick to the good old fashioned way of a paper trail lol 

[brigidmac]

Could be a genuine mistake  or speculation

...I find trees jump around Ancestry when looking at shared DNA matches
 I sent a message to the wrong person yesterday but at least they were also on the linked match

Also sent a message to someone who had some similar names to a lady who is a DNA match but hasn't been on site for a year and hasn't answered my messages .

Have you checked that the person hasn't got more than one tree ...maybe your name matches are on a different tree

[janetm]

She has no tree showing at all !

[shellyesq]

I would ask for more information from her.  I am adopted, and I have a tree for my adoptive family which I keep as private on Ancestry.  I have also done a tree on my biological family, but I do not have it online at all for privacy reasons. 

There could be a lot of reasons why she came to the conclusion that you are related, but you will never know if the reasons are valid without further information.

[janetm]

shellyesq...........ditto, I am adopted as well and have 2 trees on Ancestry both private, any names she is 'tossing' my way do not match in either tree

[brigidmac]

I agree with shell
I have a couple of private trees that I manage for someone else

I think 1 reason  people dont reply to messages  if they think it's a wind up because they can't SEE the connection
They may be missing out on some useful information

Ask for the name of the tree and the name used for the matching person

example your tree if is similar to a cousin who has done a DNA test they might have contacted you as well

Am currently engaged in conversation with 2 Americans who are only 4 th cousins to me 1 has DNA the other doesn't
Not only have I established their connection as 2nd cousins but have supplied them with information regarding their UK ancestors  haven't yet established which of the ROBERTs/JONEs individuals is our mutual ancestor but have narrowed it down to my gggfather JOHN  ROBERTS carpenter b1827 in Cheshire married to a  Mary from wales who could be theirmother
Or his Brother BEnjamin who lodged with Jones families

Or John JONES b 1820 carpenter from Wales linked one of john Roberts sisters aunts ..
With such common names ..need lots of extra information to confirm which is the corresponding John Jones in their tree and if the relationship was outside of marriage only the DNA will prove the link

[brigidmac]

Janet  do you have trees for your birth family and adopted family
I have a tree for my grandmother's adoptive HALLIS family   have some things
 I'd love to pass on to their living blood  relatives ..
.they were not a very fertile family .
The 1840 .Patriarch was a workhouse child.

most lines died out but I think their may be a few descendants in South Africa

How can you tell which tree most people see if several are public ??