In denial?

[medpat]

I've had 2 stubborn people who won't believe what's been proved by documentation.

I looked for my 3rd gt uncle's marriage. I found he went 7 miles from his home town and married a neighbour's (previous census) daughter and he was a locksmith like her father so they may have even worked together. I may never understand why that church was chosen.

Three people have queried this finding. Two e-mailed straight away, both saying they had discounted that marriage because of the distance from where he lived. I told them what I knew about the area and travel in the era as I was born in the same area - the two ladies were in Aus and NZ. I must admit I did a copy and paste so they had the same e-mail. The NZ lady thanked me and told me I had brought history alive for her. The lady from Aus more or less said it was impossible to move about then and I'd written bunkum. Incenced I sent for one of my 3rd gt uncle's sons birth cert. (wouldn't have to do it today) and I downloaded the cert. to my tree. I then told both ladies what I had done and the MMN - it was easy on that son as he had a very uncommon name. I stated it proved the marriage I had on my tree. NZ lady thanked me - still waiting for the Aus lady  . Another person queried it about a year later so I refered them to the son and his birth cert. and got thanked.

The other was even more frustrating. I received an e-mail stating I had killed off her gt uncle in WW1.

She said there were 2 (am putting in substitutes for names and places) Fred Bloggs (distant cousins) in the same local regiment, one died and one survived. Her gt uncle from the village XYZ had survived as her parents would have told her if he'd died. The Fred Bloggs from the nearby town of ABC was the one who died in WW1, her gt uncle died 1960 in ABC, perhaps in the local hospital.

I wrote back that I had only put the death in when I'd check the soldier's effects where the NOK was shown as Fred Bloggs's father from the village XYZ. I also said it was my Fred Bloggs death 1960.

She came back with I was still mistaken and I had made a mistake putting in children to the 2nd Fred Bloggs after WW1 as they couldn't exist with him as the father.

I wrote back if they didn't exist to that Fred Bloggs then my mother, her siblings and even myself didn't exist as Fred Bloggs was my maternal grandfather and I'd been there at his funeral as a child in 1960. For some reason she never replied. 

I have been corrected on my tree, I don't believe straight away, I do double check. I have found the mistakes and altered them and thanked the person for letting me know. I don't copy from other trees directly, I do my own research but if it's their branch of the family I always hope they have a correct link up with my branch and it then becomes a happy addition to my tree.

[Gillg]

My mother's side of the family were very proud of their Scottish ancestry.  My cousin moved to Scotland and often wore the kilt.  My mother had a skirt made up in the clan tartan and bought a clan badge.  I discovered that my gt-gt-grandfather was indeed Scottish - he came from Gretna, a few miles over the England/Scotland border, so just made it.  Just how Scottish am I?  Just a little finger,maybe.

[coombs]

I have Scottish ancestors and my aunty said "That has well worn off by now". Sorry but whether the connection was a grandparent or 30xgreat grandparent, there is still Scottish blood in the family.

What I hate is when people in denial try to "prove their point" by going to whimsical lengths to try and do so to think they are right and you are wrong despite all the documented evidence you have.

[Rena]

I looked for my 3rd gt uncle's marriage. I found he went 7 miles from his home town and married a neighbour's (previous census) daughter and he was a locksmith like her father so they may have even worked together. I may never understand why that church was chosen.

Years ago I questioned a vicar on the subject of why an ancestor married in one particular church.  He explained that there are several churches in a diocese and as often as not the bride and groom marry in the main diocese church and have their babies baptised in their nearest church.

[pharmaT]

A few years ago, I was very pleased to receive a message via a well known site, from a person who appeared to be an unknown close relative. We swopped info and then the other person wrote " why won't you acknowledge we are half siblings?"  To say I was shocked was an understatement, but replied that we were not! He then went on to describe how my father had left us and started a new family miles away. I carefully explained that this was not possible as my father had died three years before he was born. His reaction was that he was sure that is what I was told, but I was mistaken. I will for clarity say at this point that my father died after a long and painful battle with cancer, at home.
He could not be convinced even after I sent him the death certificate. He responded with a photo of "our" father, who bore no resemblance what so ever to my father. I gave up trying to convince him as he had started to get aggressive in his messages.
I checked recently and the tree is still unchanged despite recent work on it and so he has a totally incorrect paternal side to it. I also looked for the correct records for his tree and going from his parents marriage there is a clear line of records available.

Why would you want to claim the wrong father?

Sounds very similar to my experience. Only in my case I'm supposedly the first cousin but does involve my Dad marrying and having children after he died. He too had a long battle with cancer.

I wonder if it's the same person. Surely 2 people cannot be that obstinate.

[groom]

I wonder if it's the same person. Surely 2 people cannot be that obstinate.

In which case, Pharma you must be Glenclare's long lost relative. 

[pharmaT]

I wonder if it's the same person. Surely 2 people cannot be that obstinate.

In which case, Pharma you must be Glenclare's long lost relative. 

Not really groom.  According to this guy my dad married his aunt so marrying dead people must run his family.

[Andrew Tarr]

I have Scottish ancestors and my aunty said "That has well worn off by now". Sorry but whether the connection was a grandparent or 30xgreat grandparent, there is still Scottish blood in the family.

I think, to be brutally scientific, if you were to make that claim solely for a Scottish 30xgreat-grandparent, you might be accused of fraud ?  Any Scottish blood would have been diluted to homeopathic levels ...

[Top-of-the-hill]

   And what is Scottish blood anyway? Especially if the ancestors were in the border area. I have a branch from Berwickshire, and I guess they were as Saxon as the Northumbrians. I am quite proud of being from several long lines of sturdy Saxon and Jutish peasants!