In denial?

[sallyyorks]

Yes I have come across this type of denial. I have especially found this with family history researchers from the USA with regard to their English ancestors. A denial that they were, as the vast majority were, working class

Something that also puzzles me is why anyone would want to 'brag' about having 19th century mill owners in their family. Some did care about their workforce but in many of the 'Yorkshire' mills, and mines, the conditions for workers were appalling, especially for child labourers. The conditions were even compared to slavery at the time.

[pharmaT]

I have been accused of being in denial over my tree but I am still 100% sure it is not me who is in denial.  Someone in the US has my Dad marrying a much younger woman in NY in 2002 and having twins in 2004.  My Dad died in 1999.  I was there when he died, I have his ORIGINAL death, marriage and birth certificates as well as my original birth certificate his driving licence, forces ID and work certificates.  They are Scottish certificates at that so easy to cross reference.  I even gave the others the benefit of the  doubt and double checked both SP and GRO indexes and although my dad had a common surname and first name he was 2 middle names and the only person I can find with the exact combination of middle names was my Grt Grandfather who definietely wasn't alive in 2002 as he was born in 1878.

As to the mill and mine thing I think many just see them as rich and successful.  I think there are many people who have no idea how the people working in these places were treated.

[myluck!]

I've encountered so much denial!!

It comes from the basic "my name was never spelt like that, so they can't be ours"! right through to the more serious stuff.

On family lore, I consider all information valid and don't discount anything until I check it, However, because of age differences many of my parents' first cousins were called cousins in conversation and trying to work back through whose was really who and then add in large Irish families of similar names......

My mother insisted that she had a grand aunt, a sister of her maternal grandmother that married a wealthy lord of a certain name.  After several years of searching it turns out my great great grandmother had a first cousin who did marry a man of wealth who lived in a local big house, not however not a Lord and as they had no children the rest of the story was incorrect too.

[iluleah]

When people you know, love and trust tell you a family story, your logical mind  tells you it is true. Why would they lie? What benefit do they get from it? .........and these stories are often repeated not just by that person but others in the family too.

For me those stories are like online trees, just because you see the exact same information doesn't mean it is real, just repeated spurious information.

If I hadn't started FH research I am sure I too would believe the family stories I was told, but I did research. For me the family stories are part of my family right or wrong it tells you about human nature of the family. I wrote them down each and every time I was told, who told me and what date, it is amazing when I read them now how they change even being told by the same person.

Of course many just think of them as family memories and I had an AhAh moment on reading this question about a memory I had when a child of my great uncle and his 3 sons and daughter leaving to migrate to Canada and I remember it all in some detail and until I read this I never thought of it as a 'family story' as it was MY memory so I never wrote it down and not sure now I could do as I know it is a false memory, as I now know the reality from research and how I had put together information told to me and  'my memory' of what I thought was happening

Instead of them all migrating the 'boys' in fact had returned home to attend their fathers 2nd marriage, they had all migrated before I was born, their father and 1 son and the daughter had returned home in less than a year, the other boys had remained along with one of the boys gf's  who went with them originally ( and later married over there) I also remember them 'returning' for the funeral of their dad and looking at that now I seem to have misunderstood those two events, added other information to them I was told and come to the conclusion I did, which until I researched I completely believed it was correct....so in answer to your question yes, denial and that includes my own denial

[Gillg]

Beware of claims made on BMD certificates, especially of descriptions made of fathers' occupations, which are sometimes enhanced by promoting them to higher positions than they really had, e.g. "Master Draper" in place of "employee in a draper's shop".  Sometimes, of course, people just lie on forms......

[cristeen]

Beware of claims made on BMD certificates, especially of descriptions made of fathers' occupations, which are sometimes enhanced by promoting them to higher positions than they really had, e.g. "Master Draper" in place of "employee in a draper's shop".  Sometimes, of course, people just lie on forms......

Not only the occupation was lied about, misheard etc. I have two marriages (in the same family) where the lady is described as a spinster when she was, in fact, a widow

[coombs]

June Brown aka Dot from EastEnders does have Sephardic Jewish ancestors which is true. But in her autobiography she says her Butler family came from Ireland and settled in Peterborough in the 1840s and that her paternal gran allegedly had Italian ancestry. I looked further and there are no Irish ancestors whatsoever on the Butler side and her paternal gran was born in Norfolk, the Duxson family and no Italian ancestry. I have heard claims of people who say they had ancestors from a certain country such as France, Italy, Spain and there are no such ancestors. Common family myths seem to be "We have exotic ancestors from Italy".

Some people will not accept they have been dis proven and will go on the "It must have come from somewhere" theory about their family myths.

[Fogmoose]

Just to add my experience to the excellent comments others have been making in this thread, even when confronted with DNA evidence....some people just refuse to believe things.

In my own family, my Mom didn't believe it when I told her about discoveries I had made. Needless to say, these were the "bad" discoveries! The good discoveries, she was fine with! Its just human nature...and especially with older generations.

[StevieSteve]

My Dad died in 1999.  I was there when he died
...
 I even gave the others the benefit of the  doubt and double checked both SP and GRO indexes

That really is conscientiousness beyond the call of duty given the circumstances!