Author Topic: My Adopted father passed 2016 telling me to apply for my care records!  (Read 1017 times)

Offline Julz1211

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Re: My Adopted father passed 2016 telling me to apply for my care records!
« Reply #9 on: Monday 06 November 17 13:22 GMT (UK) »
Just get your records, your adopted father obviously wanted you to see them and your mother is happy too.  All records are different, some give the birth father, some don't, you won't know what your records say until you have them in your hands.
I know Lizzie my adopted father knew quiet a lot and before he died only admitted the guy on my BC  wasn’t my Bio Dad - I got my care records - which they couldn’t find at 1st until I gave them other d.o.b, surnames etc then few weeks later they found them.. thought I was reading the file on a child called  “It” but like I say 2 years missing - I phoned the adoption agency and they told me that was everything they had on file of me.
So where is the missing 2 years?
🙈 xx
Sumner , Gaskin, Hill

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Offline Rosinish

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Re: My Adopted father passed 2016 telling me to apply for my care records!
« Reply #10 on: Monday 06 November 17 13:26 GMT (UK) »
Julz,

Can you cast your mind back to how old you were in those 2 missing years & try to recall anything about people/places etc?

Any little memory however small may help later.

Annie
South Uist, Inverness-shire, Scotland:- Bowie, Campbell, Cumming, Currie, MacDonald, MacInnes, MacIntyre, MacKinnon, Steele, Walker

Ireland:- Cullen, Flannigan (Derry), Donahoe/Donaghue (variants) (Cork), McCrate (Tipperary), Mellon, Tol(l)and (Donegal & Tyrone)

Newcastle-on-Tyne/Durham (Northumberland):- Harrison, Jude, Kemp, Lunn, Mellon, Robson, Stirling

Kettering, Northampton:- MacKinnon

Canada:- Callaghan, MacKinnon, MacPhee

"OLD GENEALOGISTS NEVER DIE - THEY JUST LOSE THEIR CENSUS"

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Offline Julz1211

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Re: My Adopted father passed 2016 telling me to apply for my care records!
« Reply #11 on: Monday 06 November 17 13:31 GMT (UK) »
Related post...

http://www.rootschat.com/forum/index.php?topic=777153.msg6309319#msg6309319

Hi Julz,

Sorry if you thought I was 'judging' your mother which is not the case at all.

I was being frank with info. you have supplied regarding what your mother herself has told you.

If your mother isn't sure then how can you or anyone else be sure?

Could/think/might is different from 'is'

I also hope you do eventually find out as I wouldn't like not knowing who my father was.

Annie
No Annie I don’t think anything of the sort Hun
I do feel exhausted at the minute as Mum keep telling me something else new - mums not rang as much since she signed the consent
Form - I keep thinking what if she’s received them and destroyed them - huh me overthinking now  xx
Sumner , Gaskin, Hill

Offline Rosinish

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Re: My Adopted father passed 2016 telling me to apply for my care records!
« Reply #12 on: Monday 06 November 17 13:33 GMT (UK) »
Am I correct in thinking your sister knows who her father was?

You believe him to be your father too...do you both have any info. about his life such as where he lived, did he marry, did he have other kids etc?

I'm not asking for any names just questions which could help your quest.

Got your red alert...I hope not!

Annie
South Uist, Inverness-shire, Scotland:- Bowie, Campbell, Cumming, Currie, MacDonald, MacInnes, MacIntyre, MacKinnon, Steele, Walker

Ireland:- Cullen, Flannigan (Derry), Donahoe/Donaghue (variants) (Cork), McCrate (Tipperary), Mellon, Tol(l)and (Donegal & Tyrone)

Newcastle-on-Tyne/Durham (Northumberland):- Harrison, Jude, Kemp, Lunn, Mellon, Robson, Stirling

Kettering, Northampton:- MacKinnon

Canada:- Callaghan, MacKinnon, MacPhee

"OLD GENEALOGISTS NEVER DIE - THEY JUST LOSE THEIR CENSUS"

Online groom

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Re: My Adopted father passed 2016 telling me to apply for my care records!
« Reply #13 on: Monday 06 November 17 13:43 GMT (UK) »
If you think that you and your sister share the same parents, would a DNA test show this? If it proved you were sisters and not half sisters and she knows who her father is, that would solve the problem wouldn't it?
Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk

Offline Julz1211

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Re: My Adopted father passed 2016 telling me to apply for my care records!
« Reply #14 on: Monday 06 November 17 13:44 GMT (UK) »
Julz,

Can you cast your mind back to how old you were in those 2 missing years & try to recall anything about people/places etc?

Any little memory however small may help later.

Annie
Hi yes Annie I always don’t ask me how - but always knew I’d been somewhere else I must of been 2 and a half  with this couple. Also waving bye to children at the windows of a tall house as I described it . But many times I questioned my father “adopted father” he Denied it until July 2016 when he was in hospital he started crying saying he was sorry.. and started to tell me all and that I was in care - he thought I’d hate him but I loved him even more for the Truth.
He said Mum was angry when he could only get me. So if she threw him out - I was threw out with him.. that’s why I loved him so much as he took me everywhere 😔 then my care records confirmed my memories - strange I know but yes Annie I do remember a very lot of things xx
Sumner , Gaskin, Hill

Offline Julz1211

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Re: My Adopted father passed 2016 telling me to apply for my care records!
« Reply #15 on: Monday 06 November 17 13:56 GMT (UK) »
If you think that you and your sister share the same parents, would a DNA test show this? If it proved you were sisters and not half sisters and she knows who
her father is, that would solve the problem wouldn't it?
Hi groom
Yes it would she knows who he is or was and if he’s the one I’m thinking of then he died 2014 giving her a year of knowing him and knowing back then there was a possibility we shared the same father.. she could of made it clear  .. a lot of history around this sibling she doesn’t do empathy or weakness.. as she once told me I’m weak as I have too much heart  as she calls it - I call it having compassion also having a heart instead of being heartless.
She will not help in anyway if she thinks it could destroy her own wrongdoing’s
So got no chance hun xx
Sumner , Gaskin, Hill

Offline Julz1211

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Re: My Adopted father passed 2016 telling me to apply for my care records!
« Reply #16 on: Monday 06 November 17 14:14 GMT (UK) »
Am I correct in thinking your sister knows who her father was?

You believe him to be your father too...do you both have any info. about his life such as where he lived, did he marry, did he have other kids etc?

I'm not asking for any names just questions which could help your quest.

Got your red alert...I hope not!

Annie
Yes Annie she must think I came off the slow boat - but I know she got all her files as at the time in July 2012 we both put in for our files  her idea - a few months later if that I got called in to the office & collected 1 sheet as my adopted father was alive then. My S kept me updated that there were 3 huge files on her and they could find her father for a small fee - and sent me copies of updates.. the last one stating they were ready for her to collect in January 2013
That was it she never mentioned it again and then things started changing to big house, big Car - New York, Dubai etc etc - I thought nothing of it till last year when - I was able to get my records Blimey I couldnt say the half of it - but  I do have the fathers wife’s name, address and decided to search a Surname - straight away a certain one popped up with a mutual friend but in Texas when I clicked on it was only my sister 😱 so went in to her friends list & it stated nothing to show - so she obviously hid me.
The rest you couldn’t write a book about Annie
Xx
Sumner , Gaskin, Hill

Offline dawnsh

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Re: My Adopted father passed 2016 telling me to apply for my care records!
« Reply #17 on: Tuesday 07 November 17 10:57 GMT (UK) »
Hello all

I am finding again that this is a difficult topic to read and not the first time Julz has posted on this subject.

No-one on RC has declared that they are professionally trained in any way to offer help, counselling, support and guidance in these matters.

Julz should be speaking with the local authorities about her personal circumstances. If her file does not contain the information she needs, she should take it up with them as to what steps she can then take. Maybe they can offer her the support she obviously needs or put her intouch with local organisations who can help further.

She can also approach the General Register Office for access to the files they hold there.

https://www.gov.uk/adoption-records


The spirit of RC is to find out about our historic ancestors, not rummage around in scenarios that are causing distress to the living.

RC is not the place to air your personal grievances or bad-mouth your relatives because they do not conform to your wishes or way of thinking.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, I shall report myself to the rest of the moderating team so they are aware of what I have written.

Dawn

Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk

Sherry-Paddington & Marylebone,
Longhurst-Ealing & Capel, Abinger, Ewhurst & Ockley,
Chandler-Chelsea