Just a tale of my stupidity and an unlucky family

[LizzieW]

I was researching my 2 x g.g.aunt Mary (as you do when you've nothing else to do).  She was on the 1841 census with her parents, then married in 1843.  I couldn't find her in 1851, her married name was Pape, so I looked at all the similar names, Pope, Pipe, etc. but nothing, I looked on GRO Indexes to see if she'd had any children to give me an idea where she might be, nothing.  I looked for her death, nothing.  After a couple of hours it occured to me that perhaps her husband had died - he had in 1845, 2 years after their marriage.  So I looked for a 2nd marriage and found one in 1848. 

Next I found Mary with new husband and a child on the 1851 census, so I looked for her on the 1861 census, nothing.  Found a 2nd child on GRO Indexes then nothing, couldn't find the 2 children (the eldest might have been in a boarding school in 1861 - initials only), so I did as before looked for her death etc. etc.  Why did I not get the answer straight away - you've guessed it, husband number 2 had died in 1852 so I found another marriage for her, in 1854. 

So then I looked for her on the 1861 census, nothing, I thought "Oh no, she's not lost another husband!" she hadn't, this time it was poor Mary that had died aged only 35 in 1857, buried 10 October, not only that her 2nd child also died in 1857 buried in April.  What a life, lost 2 out of 3 husbands and 1 child and then died herself.

I'll have to get their death certs now (PDF via GRO) to find the causes of their deaths.

Mary's family didn't have much luck, her eldest sister, my 2 x g.grandmother, died after childbirth aged 28, and the baby died also, her next sister's husband died after only 7 years of marriage, 3 children 2 of whom died and then that sister then had to look after her father for 23 years before she could marry again in 1879, then she died herself in 1891.

Many of the deaths I found in the mid to late 1800s were from diseases that cause no problems nowadays, we don't know how lucky we are.

[patty38]

I read this with interest because the same sort of thing happened to me and I'm sure some of my family were unlucky.

My 4 x gg aunt was married to a mariner (ships captain) and he drowned when he fell overboard in a London dock, leaving her with 4 sons, 1 daughter and pregnant. Three of the sons were mariners like their father and were lost at sea/drowned in separate incidents, the 4th son was a plumber who was crushed to death by an overhead crane. Only the last son, born after his father had died and the daughter lived to a decent age. Then as if the poor woman hadn't suffered enough her granddaughter was scalded to death age 4.

This all happened in the 2nd half of the 19th century and I know things were different then, but even so I reckon she was very unlucky.

This is what makes fh so interesting but I do agree we definitely don't know how lucky we are now.

Patty

[Mowsehowse]

I found a similar tale for one of my husband's female ancestors. 
Just goes to prove that the Good Old Days were often not so good, and it does seem to me that some people really do draw more than their fair share of "bad luck" in their lifetime. 

[Viktoria]

My maternal grandmother who had in total 12 children(not all living at the same time i.e. Some died before others were born---had her last baby in January 1910.
Her 16 year old daughter died in February that year..
In that March her twin baby grandsons died and her own baby too, in the beginning of April.So four deaths. Within weeks of each other, so what did she do?----adopted four orphnans.
What a mwonderful woman.I wish I had met her.
Viktoria.

[Mowsehowse]

My maternal grandmother who had in total 12 children(not all living at the same time i.e. Some died before others were born---had her last baby in January 1910.
Her 16 year old daughter died in February that year..
In that March her twin baby grandsons died and her own baby too, in the beginning of April.So four deaths. Within weeks of each other, so what did she do?----adopted four orphnans.
What a mwonderful woman.I wish I had met her.
Viktoria.

Sounds like a wonderful woman indeed Viktoria.