Advice for handling a senstive situation please

[Jill Eaton]

I've uploaded my DNA to several other sites apart from Ancestry.

Yesterday I contacted a match who shares quite a decent amount with me and falls within the
1st cousin twice removed parameters.

According to the website this could be a shared grandparent

The contacts tree is private and I've had trouble uploading mine so I gave the contact a list of surnames that we might have in common.

The contact has replied but has stated that their father may not actually be their father.
They were very polite and wished me all the best for my future research

My tree has now uploaded and I'd like to find a sensitive way of saying I understand their situation but that my tree will be there and so will I should they feel ready to pursue any link in the future.

I'm aware of certain shenanigans within my own family tree but they are generations removed from me. Finding out about a parent this way must be devestating

[cati]

As they've replied to you, and explained the situation, I don't think there would be any problem if you thanked them for replying and say - as you've suggested in your post - that, if they wish to pursue any potential links in the future, they're very welcome to look at your tree and contact you.

Cati

[Jill Eaton]

As they've replied to you, and explained the situation, I don't think there would be any problem if you thanked them for replying and say - as you've suggested in your post - that, if they wish to pursue any potential links in the future, they're very welcome to look at your tree and contact you.

Cati

Thanks Cati. I really feel I should respond and hopefully it will be received in the spirit in which it is intended. I'm concerned I've inadvertently confirmed their suspicions.

I've a feeling that DNA testing is going to throw up more of these situations in the future.

[groom]

Thanks Cati. I really feel I should respond and hopefully it will be received in the spirit in which it is intended. I'm concerned I've inadvertently confirmed their suspicions.

I've a feeling that DNA testing is going to throw up more of these situations in the future.

That is a worry, especially with Ancestry and others encouraging people to buy a DNA test for mothers on Mothers' Day and fathers on Fathers' Day! There could be a few people in for shocks.

[Milliepede]

I think you've done enough really and having made contact and had a response should leave it there 

[Jill Eaton]

I have replied. Simply because it felt rude not to. However, I've thanked them for responding since not every contact does, thanked them for their time, pointed out that my tree is available for them to view at any time if they should feel they want to and that if they want to contact me at a future date that's fine. I don't expect to hear from them but that's ok too.