Author Topic: Re:Skeletons highlighted by DNA Results  (Read 3053 times)

Offline billbir

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Re:Skeletons highlighted by DNA Results
« Reply #9 on: Thursday 19 April 18 14:14 BST (UK) »
Bilbur

It is a sensitive subject
I think for people who have few direct relatives they may like to know that they do have cousins or siblings but if its a case of discoverig their beloved parents or grandparents are not their birth parents it would be more traumatic . Does it depend how distant a relative it was ?

My  mother was pleased to discover who her true grandparents were and what became of them ..and I think her new cousin was pleased to discover his grandmothers roots but was actually more interested in finding out about his fathers father .

Hi Brigid,
Your reply is a bit confusing, as you seem to favour caution, yet say that your mother was pleased to discover who her true grandparents are. Sometimes people aren’t searching for an answer, because they were not aware that there was a question that needed answering.

Discretion is probably the best route ..unless you know someone is searching for answers  .

Offline billbir

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Re:Skeletons highlighted by DNA Results
« Reply #10 on: Thursday 19 April 18 14:16 BST (UK) »

It can be a difficult road to travel. It will have to be your decision whether you inform the rest of the family or not.  Not all revelations of skeletons will be well received, you will have to think carefully before you decide.

My own skeleton was inadvertantly discovered when I first started researching the family, she reached out to me and we struck up a correspondence, she was looking for answers about who she was,etc, the reaction from the rest of the family was less than pleasant.
Hi,
Thanks for your wise counsel. How did the rest of the family come to hear of it, and thus react. I am in the same position as yourself, but the family are, to my knowledge, unaware. Has the rest of the family’s reaction, improved over time?

Offline Mart 'n' Al

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Re:Skeletons highlighted by DNA Results
« Reply #11 on: Thursday 19 April 18 14:30 BST (UK) »
Partly through my own research, not via DNA, I found out, as an ADULT, that a much loved aunt was actually my grandmother, and not my dad's sister as he thought.  Those concerned died a long time ago, over 40 years ago, but it is still odd thinking about it, especially in view of the fact that there was an unknown family secret for 60 years, until my dad needed a copy of his birth certificate.

I'm all in favour of rattling a few skeleton bones in the closet, but also it must be considered that one day they might find out the truth, as well as finding out that you knew and didn't say anything.

In the words of the old calypso song, Your Daddy ain't your daddy but your Daddy don't know.

Martin

Offline DavidG02

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Re:Skeletons highlighted by DNA Results
« Reply #12 on: Thursday 19 April 18 14:34 BST (UK) »
I think it has to be up to the individual and the circumstances around it. I'm sorry that I cant give you the advice you may want to hear but it really is your own based on family circumstances.

I havent found any major skeletons , apart from FTDNA saying I dont have any Australian Aboriginal DNA , and my mother declaring very strongly the reason my brother is dark is because of 'ancestral dalliances' which are so far not backed up by the paper trail.



David
Aborigines are not the only 'black' people to have been in Australia in our early days.
For instance, my Billy Blue was black, but not an aborigine, I found when I delved into things.
He came as a convict from England. We haven't traced his origins, but a cousin had his DNA done and it showed 'deep west African roots'.  And various other findings lead us to believe he or his antecedents were in Jamaica.
Have you read "Black Founders" by Cassandra Pybus?  She devotes (from memory) one chapter per person to the various black people who came with the earlier convict ships.

Dawn M
Oh yes I am aware of the history of Blacks of African descent in Australia. Billy Blue being the most prominent but certainly not the only one. :)

My DNA , from 2 sites , says mostly European and then the usual trail through to the mid east. ie any supposed west african or jamaican is not highlighted.

Genealogy-Its a family thing

Paternal: Gibbins,McNamara, Jenkins, Schumann,  Inwood, Sheehan, Quinlan, Tierney, Cole

Maternal: Munn, Simpson , Brighton, Clayfield, Westmacott, Corbell, Hatherell, Blacksell/Blackstone, Boothey , Muirhead

Son: Bull, Kneebone, Lehmann, Cronin, Fowler, Yates, Biglands, Rix, Carpenter, Pethick, Carrick, Male, London, Jacka, Tilbrook, Scott, Hampshire, Buckley

Brickwalls-   Schumann, Simpson,Westmacott/Wennicot
Scott, Cronin
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Offline brigidmac

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Re: Re:Skeletons highlighted by DNA Results
« Reply #13 on: Thursday 19 April 18 14:41 BST (UK) »
bilbur ..sorry to be confusing

my mother was happy about it because she was the one looking for information

for answers but I believe some people may not want to know .  i agree with David it depends on individual circumstances .

*there may be  a difference between giving someone a relative they didnt know they had
or
taking away a connection ...ie if DNA results show that a grandparent on a tree isnt shared but you cant tell them who the blood grandparent was...if that makes sense .
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Offline PrawnCocktail

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Re:Skeletons highlighted by DNA Results
« Reply #14 on: Thursday 19 April 18 16:25 BST (UK) »
I do paid research for other people, and at least twice I've been in the position of having discovered a "family secret", of comparatively recent origins. So when reporting back my findings, I've had to go slowly and carefully, and present them with the facts from the best angle possible, leaving them to draw their own conclusions. Usually starting with, "I did find something that didn't look normal", and seeing if they want to know.

But these people were already looking at their family. If someone isn't even looking, ignorance may be bliss. It will depend solely on the family. "Sensitive" has to be the word!
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Offline 3sillydogs

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Re:Skeletons highlighted by DNA Results
« Reply #15 on: Thursday 19 April 18 17:44 BST (UK) »

It can be a difficult road to travel. It will have to be your decision whether you inform the rest of the family or not.  Not all revelations of skeletons will be well received, you will have to think carefully before you decide.

My own skeleton was inadvertantly discovered when I first started researching the family, she reached out to me and we struck up a correspondence, she was looking for answers about who she was,etc, the reaction from the rest of the family was less than pleasant.
Hi,
Thanks for your wise counsel. How did the rest of the family come to hear of it, and thus react. I am in the same position as yourself, but the family are, to my knowledge, unaware. Has the rest of the family’s reaction, improved over time?

I mentioned it in passing to an uncle who lived in the same city as me, that I had found a cousin but wasn't sure how she fitted in yet, his reaction was rude to say the least, a cousin who was sharing family info with me must have been contacted by him because all contact stopped.  I have had no contact with that side of the family since.  I suspect because of their reaction that they had also found out about her and didn't think anyone else would.
Paylet, Pallatt, Morris (Russia, UK) Burke, Hillery, Page, Rumsey, Stevens, Tyne/Thynne(UK)  Landman, van Rooyen, Tyne, Stevens, Rumsey, Visagie, Nell (South Africa)

Offline billbir

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Re:Skeletons highlighted by DNA Results
« Reply #16 on: Thursday 19 April 18 19:28 BST (UK) »

It can be a difficult road to travel. It will have to be your decision whether you inform the rest of the family or not.  Not all revelations of skeletons will be well received, you will have to think carefully before you decide.

My own skeleton was inadvertantly discovered when I first started researching the family, she reached out to me and we struck up a correspondence, she was looking for answers about who she
was,etc, the reaction from the rest of the family was less than pleasant.
Hi,
Thanks for your wise counsel. How did the rest of the family come to hear of it, and thus react. I am in the same position as yourself, but the family are, to my knowledge, unaware. Has the rest of the family’s reaction, improved over time?

I

It can be a difficult road to travel. It will have to be your decision whether you inform the rest of the family or not.  Not all revelations of skeletons will be well received, you will have to think carefully before you decide.

My own skeleton was inadvertantly discovered when I first started researching the family, she reached out to me and we struck up a correspondence, she was looking for answers about who she was,etc, the reaction from the rest of the family was less than pleasant.
Hi,
Thanks for your wise counsel. How did the rest of the family come to hear of it, and thus react. I am in the same position as yourself, but the family are, to my knowledge, unaware. Has the rest of the family’s reaction, improved over time?

it in passing to an uncle who lived in the same city as me, that I had found a cousin but wasn't sure how she fitted in yet, his reaction was rude to say the least, a cousin who was sharing family info with me must have been contacted by him because all contact stopped.  I have had no contact with that side of the family since.  I suspect because of their reaction that they had also found out about her and didn't think anyone else would.

I have to say that if that happened to me, it would make me even more determined, to solve the mystery.

Offline WirralWoman

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Re:Skeletons highlighted by DNA Results
« Reply #17 on: Thursday 19 April 18 20:58 BST (UK) »
Not a skeleton exactly, but a crumb of possible enlightenment for me. My mother's paternal line has been impossible to follow as her father was illegitimate, the result of what appears to have been a brief encounter. He was born in 1894 so I imagine there was some hushing-up done.  None now live who could shed any light on that. Mum and her brother were quite dark complexioned and dark-haired and, when I did the Ancestry DNA test a while ago, an 8% 'slice of the pie' was Iberian. None of the other lines I've followed seem to suggest that, so perhaps there's a mysterious hint of Spanish in the family. I'll never know for sure, but it's a hint I suppose.