Author Topic: Ancestry matches don't reply to me....  (Read 1813 times)

Online Mart 'n' Al

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Re: Ancestry matches don't reply to me....
« Reply #27 on: Tuesday 12 June 18 19:11 BST (UK) »
PharmaT, they really are unpleasant replies, and I am quite surprised to read them.  I don't think you should take much notice of them, and keep trying, most people are nice.  I am about to do a test and I hope I am related to you!  You will get a nice reply from me.  (Unless you are my old school teacher!)

Martin
Names: Loughborough and Loughbrough, (London, Hull and Hartlepool), Watson, (Jarrow & H'pool), Ballard & Glassop (E. London), Mowbray & Bulmer (both H'pool) & Leggett (Corton, Scarborough, H'pool, & Barnington, Yorks.). I use GRAMPS 4.2.6 software.

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Offline Pheno

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Re: Ancestry matches don't reply to me....
« Reply #28 on: Tuesday 12 June 18 19:16 BST (UK) »
In those cases I think you should use the 'report abuse' button available on Ancestry as nobody would be happy to receive replies like that Pharma T.   If what you have drafted is typical of what you are sending then you are not being offensive, insensitive, a bully or anything else at all so just continue to email in the manner that you currently do.

And also grow a thicker skin and don't take everything to heart so.  You are doing nothing different to anyone else and you are not being ignored more than anyone else.

Pheno
Austin/Austen - Sussex & London
Bond - Berkshire & London
Bishop - Sussex & Kent
Holland - Essex
Nevitt - Cheshire & Staffordshire
Wray - Yorkshire

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Offline pharmaT

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Re: Ancestry matches don't reply to me....
« Reply #29 on: Tuesday 12 June 18 20:44 BST (UK) »
PharmaT, they really are unpleasant replies, and I am quite surprised to read them.  I don't think you should take much notice of them, and keep trying, most people are nice.  I am about to do a test and I hope I am related to you!  You will get a nice reply from me.  (Unless you are my old school teacher!)

Martin

I have never been a teacher so you're safe there.
Campbell, Dunn, Dickson, Fell, Forest, Norie, Pratt, Somerville, Thompson, Tyler among others

Online groom

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Re: Ancestry matches don't reply to me....
« Reply #30 on: Tuesday 12 June 18 21:42 BST (UK) »
Quote
I'm not so much offended by people not replying but when they don't reply I really worry that I have caused offence.  I'm basing this on 2 replies I did get.  One said "I could not be possibly related to someone like you" and the other that  said "the fact you've sent any message shows you have no idea how Ancestry works, you're on your own, I'm having nothing to do with you"

If anything, you need to be the one offended by their replies - by the way they have worded them they are the ones who need to apologise, not you. Stop worrying about what other people think, as Pheno said, if you sent messages as you have quoted there is absolutely nothing wrong with them.
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Offline bagpipelover46

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Re: Ancestry matches don't reply to me....
« Reply #31 on: Thursday 14 June 18 03:38 BST (UK) »
Have the same problem. I have cousin matches that are in Scotland that I would love to hear from (I'm in the USA) but have not gotten any answers back. As of yet I haven't had a single person reach out to me. Very disappointing.
Problem with email

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Offline davidft

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Re: Ancestry matches don't reply to me....
« Reply #32 on: Thursday 14 June 18 10:47 BST (UK) »
To play devil's advocate for a moment.

Why should anyone reply when they are contacted on Ancestry or elsewhere? People have their own reasons for doing these tests and a lot just want the test results and nothing else.

Some people do reply, I have spent much of the last week trying to establish a link to someone. I have not managed to establish the link yet but I did send the person a seven page note of my findings yesterday which should clarify his tree a bit.

People do reply when they want to and have the time to spare. I reply to any message I get but then perhaps that is easy to say when you come from a possible long line of illiterates  ;)  ;D - how else would you account for so few contacts

Online Mart 'n' Al

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Re: Ancestry matches don't reply to me....
« Reply #33 on: Thursday 14 June 18 11:18 BST (UK) »
David and others, I agree with all here, but if people want 'test results' they should be aware that ethnicity estimates are vague, if not little more than something to laugh about.  The real results are the lists of possible relatives.

However, interpreting the results doesn't seem to be straight forward.  I expect mine  next month, but I have the advantage of a lot of time, as well as maths and computer experience.

Only 27 more sleeps until my results arrive!!

Martin
Names: Loughborough and Loughbrough, (London, Hull and Hartlepool), Watson, (Jarrow & H'pool), Ballard & Glassop (E. London), Mowbray & Bulmer (both H'pool) & Leggett (Corton, Scarborough, H'pool, & Barnington, Yorks.). I use GRAMPS 4.2.6 software.

Offline IgorStrav

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Re: Ancestry matches don't reply to me....
« Reply #34 on: Thursday 14 June 18 15:16 BST (UK) »
I am one of the people who've been disappointed by not getting as much help from DNA contacts as I'd hoped.

It seems my closest relation connections seem either to have a) very very small family trees or b) no family trees at all or c) where I can see where we must be connected, they don't reply.
I've decided that this isn't worth worrying about.

However, with a combination of a DNA contact with a very very small tree with just one name I recognised (and who hadn't replied to my message), this sent me back on a research trip to Ancestry, and also to looking back on mails I'd sent to a family member back in 2006 (!)quoting some reminiscences of my father's.

And in combination with the 1939 Register conveniently available on Ancestry, and these clues (including some really good ones from my Dad which I'd completely forgotten), I've pinned down the background to the family and added in a new section, including finding a link by marriage to another person who married into the other half of the family, which my Dad had vaguely referred to.

So I wrote back again to the contact, saying that I had used her tree, taken the clues, and found out about the person I'd been looking for, thanking her for her tree's help in this and saying that I completely understood she might be totally uninterested in family history research, but I very much valued her help, and wishing her and her family all the best (she's my second cousin once removed).

And that got a reply with further details from her.

She asked me if I knew anything about her maternal great grandmother (completely unconnected to me) who I'd said had the same first name as her daughter, and I've probably now put her off completely, as in true Family History nerd form I then looked up this woman through the censuses and summarised what I could see, for her interest.

She's probably concluded now that I am completely mad/have too much time on my hands/have made it all up in an attempt to get all her personal details and steal her identity.

But I'm glad anyway because I was so pleased to sort it all out for myself.   ;D





Pay, Kent. 
Barham, Kent. 
Cork(e), Kent. 
Cooley, Kent.
Barwell, Rutland/Northants/Greenwich.
Cotterill, Derbys.
Van Steenhoven/Steenhoven/Hoven, Belgium/East London.
Burton, East London.
Wade, Greenwich/Brightlingsea, Essex.

Offline Janethepain

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Re: Ancestry matches don't reply to me....
« Reply #35 on: Saturday 16 June 18 15:02 BST (UK) »
It can be very frustrating when you get your results, and not too many people want to reply to you!  I have had some success, finding a 4th cousin, who lives in the same area as me, and who is related thru my gx3 grand father.  She is related to one of the oldest children, I am related to a younger son, but she did not appear to be aware of any of the other children, so knew nothing about the whole maze of people descended from the younger children.  And funnily enough, she is also related to me through marriage - her cousin is married to my closest cousin on my father's side!

However, frustratingly, I have found 2 connections at 3rd cousin level (and at the extremely high confidence level), to a branch of my dad's side, that we have very little information about.  This is because the family name (Burke) is the most common name where they come from (near Clifden, Connemara, County Galway), and my great grandmother, Margaret Burke, was the only one to come to Scotland.  All the other family I know of, 2 elder sisters, and a younger brother, went to America, and we know very little about what happened after that - though the younger boy died without children we believe.  My Grandmother has been dead for > 60 years, so can't really ask questions, and my dad and his younger sister, are the only grand children still alive, and Dad is 92!.  Any way, to be third cousins, these 2 connections (who I think are sisters), they must be pretty directly connected to my great grandmother's family ( - i presume to one of her siblings, or perhaps siblings of her parents).  However, looking at their family tree, although they have all the right surnames etc, I just cant see exactly where the connection would be!!  I only messaged one of these 'sisters' - but as yet I have had no reply.  It is infuriating, but what can you do!! These 2 ladies live in the US, probably east coast, as their father died in Pennsylvania.

Like someone else said earlier, they may not have logged in recently, they may only be interested in the ethnicity results...Agh!  I will contact the other one, who's tree is managed by someone else, so I suspect theses two ladies are probably pretty old ( ie older than me, I'm nearly 62!) and it is probably their children who are the active researchers!
Allison - Rumford Stirlingshire & Ireland
Quinn - Rumford, Glasgow, Monklands & Tyrone
Convoy - Rumford, Monklands & Tyrone
Burke - Glasgow, Clifden Galway
Duffy - Cleland Lanarkshire, Monklands, Falkirk, Ireland
Curran - Cleland, Ireland
Reynolds - Cleland, Shettleston, Tollcross, Antrim
McDermott - Cleland, Shotts, (London)Derry