Paternal Tree and DNA does not match.

[sugarfizzle]

I agree it's early still. I can't get a male relative to test but I'm going to get my sister to test so that I can separate out the maternal matches that we share, as if my suspicions prove correct we will probably test out as half sisters.

Thank you so much to everyone for the advice and support:)

Has your sister agreed to testing? Doubt if her results would be back by now if she did.

I feel for you, but that is what genealogy is all about, finding your true roots.  If we make a mistake further back in our trees we are usually happy enough to correct it, but being closer makes it more difficult.

It must be hard for you, but a lot of other people will be in the same situation, DNA is opening up secrets that were never intended to be discovered.

Regards Margaret

[medpat]

I had the opposite plenty on my paternal side been able to confirm back to the 1780s for 3rd gt grandparents plus links to my gt gt grandmother and gt grandmother on my paternal side.

I had to wait about another couple of years before I got the link from my maternal grandmother to my 4th gt grandparents and out to their 4th gt grandson via the sister of my 3rd gt grandmother.

I have lots outstanding where we can't as yet find a link, mainly because of trees not going back far enough. 1 family from USA (3 DNA links to me) are insisting they don't have any UK/Irish links they are all mainland Europe - mine at the generation we meet at are all based in UK .

You need patience, all this may mean is your father's family haven't done any DNA tests. Have you checked your father's line against other trees to see if there's a discrepancy and if so check it out to see who's wrong. We all make mistakes.

[Ausigeni]

@sugarfizzle Sister's results are not back yet.

Regarding original Dad's tree. I had that up for over six months on Ancestry waiting for any match at all. When I've had a bad day I've hitched my DNA back up to his tree to see if anything goes and just have had nothing happen. I'm not close to him, so it wasn't a huge emotional thing. Mainly just an out of the blue shock for me.

The things you learn! This will definitely be a story for the grand kids.

[medpat]

You can't assume he is not your father due to a few months on a DNA site - you need his relatives to have had DNA tests and for you to be on the same site.

Unless you get a sibling and a paternal cousin to cross reference the DNA analysis you can't say he isn't your father.

You need patience, I have great sections unconfirmed by DNA after 4 years. My confirmations are part of paternal male line to 1780s, last week had confirmation of part of paternal female line. On the maternal line part of the female line to 1790s. There is absolutely nothing confirmed on the maternal paternal line as yet - AFTER 4 years.I have hundreds of links without knowing where they link.

This is not an instant answer you are reliant on other people doing the test and having correctly traced their family history.

Your expectations are far too high, come back in 4 years and let us know how your links have panned out.

[hurworth]

You can't assume he is not your father due to a few months on a DNA site - you need his relatives to have had DNA tests and for you to be on the same site.

Sometimes it is quite possible to come to quite accurate conclusions rather quickly, depending on who has tested.  Some people are intelligent enough and analytical enough to rapidly understand it. 

In this instance it does sound like the uncle's relatives have tested, and they're coming up as DNA matches which aren't explained by the papertrail.  The uncle is looking like a possible candidate for the father.

The clincher would be a daughter of this man.  If she wasn't a full match on the X-chromosome then it would rule him out.

I've had the opposite issue when someone who should match (about a 3rd to 4th cousin) just wasn't matching anyone he should match (there's about 20 people at Gedmatch he could match, and he wasn't matching ANY of them.... I know that only about 50% of 4th cousins will match, but the odds of matching none of them was about 0.5 to the power of 20).  A couple of us had to gently try to point out that something wasn't quite adding up, but he still thought that some little pink matching segments at Gedmatch meant a match. 

[xinia]

Dangerous - negative - answers

I am never going to get to grips with it.. DNA

I havent got long enough brain power left.


now a nice volunteer to sort it and show me.. BUT I still cannot grasp it.

and if I then found a result as per this post   then that would be the finish of me

I wish I had never done it 
but promised myself I would leave it on Ancestry for 1 yr..

so far my KNOWN only nephew  is a match and two Scottish people so thats good.  but nothing else..  that wasnt already known.

xin

[Ausigeni]

@medpat I appreciate your good heart and I understand the need to play devil's advocate because this is the kind of situation that is life altering. However in my case it is as @hurworth said.

I have taken not one but DNA tests in the last two years. The first test (23andme) led me to the assumption that something was wrong on the paternal and the second test (Ancestry) pretty much convinced me that my first assumption was right.

In the last two years I have spent hundreds of hours building up both my Dad's tree and the mirror tree and making both as accurate as possible.

The mirror tree (Uncle's tree) so far has connected me directly to at least six, previously unexplained 3-4th cousin matches and has inspired another five shared ancestor hints via the Ancestry system. The trees of the people in those SAH cases have fully matched my uncle's tree.

I probably should also point out that nearly all of the 3-4th cousin matches are linked to lines related to my Uncle's mother on the X, so for me there was just no getting over it, I'm looking at an NPE but as previously mentioned by another poster, I'm not unique in this.

[Ausigeni]

I probably should mention the next steps involve results of sister's test and then after that I'm going to approach one of my cousins (Uncle's son) and ask them to test too.

[Rosinish]

Hi Ausigeni,

I feel so sorry for you but what an interesting story although not the nicest & wouldn't like to be in your shoes! 

I know zilch about DNA (or very little) but is it possible maybe one of your uncle's siblings could be the connection...just a thought but also may be easier to accept if it so turns out?

What we have to remember is, many families married into their own relations families not knowing they were related! 

Could one of your uncles family/siblings have married into your own family although related further back? Not sure you will understand my meaning 

Annie