1873 Funeral

[collin]

Hi,  I have found a newspaper article about the funeral of a relative in 1873, she was a young woman the last member of her family and the funeral was arranged by her fiancee and he gave notice to her relatives that there was ' to be no women at the funeral' which I find strange. Was it usual at that time not to have women at a funeral?
There was trouble about the position of the chief mourning coach which is why the story made the papers as  Disgraceful Scenes at a Funeral. Maybe it was in anticipation of that?
Thanks

[CaroleW]

Can’t comment on 1873 but when my friends father died in Liverpool in 1976 no women were allowed at his funeral - including his widow and only daughter.

I never did find out the reason but it was nothing to do with any family rift as they were very happily married

[Galium]

From Cassell's Household Guide of 1880

 It sometimes happens among the poorer classes that the female relatives attend the funeral; but this custom is by no means to be recommended, since in these cases it but too frequently happens that, being unable to restrain their emotions, they interrupt and destroy the solemnity of the ceremony with their sobs, and even by fainting.

I also remember that in Elizabeth Gaskell's novel, Cranford (pub. 1851-1853), there is a character who wishes to attend her father's funeral, and her friends try to dissuade her from doing so on the grounds that it would be improper. (Spoiler: she does)

[collin]

Thank you,  I always thought funerals were open for anyone to pay their respects and the more that attended showed how well thought of they were. At this funeral there was a hearse and two mourning coaches so there can't have been many there.

[giggsycat]

"At this funeral there was a hearse and two mourning coaches so there can't have been many there."

Ah, but how many people lived within walking distance of the church!

Giggsy

[collin]

In this case she was buried many miles away in a little country churchyard where their uncle had been curate. At first I couldn't understand why they were buried there until I saw the grave and her two elder sisters are actually buried with the curate and his wife.

[iolaus]

Was she Welsh background?

It always used to be men only (if there was a service at the house women could go to that) - I remember my husbands great aunt dying in 2000 and she still wanted to stick to that

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/wales/entries/9c24f1e1-d62c-3e28-a1db-7664cad06183

[collin]

No, they were Lancashire, died in Oldham and buried up in Saddleworth,  reading this about the Welsh funerals made me smile, we had a relative who went to all the funerals in the village for a free feed!