Author Topic: Did I do something wrong?  (Read 4380 times)

Online Gillg

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Re: Did I do something wrong?
« Reply #9 on: Friday 29 June 18 11:51 BST (UK) »
Millipede
They aren't themselves GR members and have asked me to deal with this for them.  I feel that I started this, so have to see it through. I have now sent a message to the GR Support Team, who are supposed to respond within 2 days.
 
Census information is Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk

FAIREY/FAIRY/FAREY/FEARY, LAWSON, CHURCH, BENSON, HALSTEAD from Easton, Ellington, Eynesbury, Gt Catworth, Huntingdon, Spaldwick, Hunts;  Burnley, Lancs;  New Zealand, Australia & US.

HURST, BOLTON,  BUTTERWORTH, ADAMSON, WILD, MCIVOR from Milnrow, Newhey, Oldham & Rochdale, Lancs., Scotland.

Offline Mart 'n' Al

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Re: Did I do something wrong?
« Reply #10 on: Friday 29 June 18 12:00 BST (UK) »
Gillig, ask yourself if this is this important enough to you to get worked up about?

Martin

Offline groom

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Re: Did I do something wrong?
« Reply #11 on: Friday 29 June 18 12:05 BST (UK) »
Both relatives have now stated that they object to their information being used without their permission and want it removed.  Now to grit my teeth and face more abuse, though I'll try via GR  first. Wish me luck!

It may still be though that GR won't deal with a third party i.e. you. Please let us know what happens.
Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk

Online Gillg

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Re: Did I do something wrong?
« Reply #12 on: Friday 29 June 18 12:11 BST (UK) »
Martin

I'm keeping very calm  8)
Census information is Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk

FAIREY/FAIRY/FAREY/FEARY, LAWSON, CHURCH, BENSON, HALSTEAD from Easton, Ellington, Eynesbury, Gt Catworth, Huntingdon, Spaldwick, Hunts;  Burnley, Lancs;  New Zealand, Australia & US.

HURST, BOLTON,  BUTTERWORTH, ADAMSON, WILD, MCIVOR from Milnrow, Newhey, Oldham & Rochdale, Lancs., Scotland.


Offline Mart 'n' Al

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Re: Did I do something wrong?
« Reply #13 on: Friday 29 June 18 12:19 BST (UK) »
Remember that poem about having strength to cope with some things and to tolerate others and to know the difference.  I don't like people who don't 'play the game' either, though.

Martin

Online Gillg

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Re: Did I do something wrong?
« Reply #14 on: Sunday 01 July 18 11:46 BST (UK) »
Update
The GR support team have responded very promptly and say:


We have asked the owner of the relevant family tree to confirm that the person(s) to whom you refer have either consented to their inclusion in their tree or, if not, to remove their details.

We have also referred them to the Terms and Conditions of the site.


(and quoted the relevant paragraph)

Let's hope that's the end of the matter. ::)  Since both of my younger relatives are in rather sensitive jobs, I do try to protect their privacy.

Thanks to all.
Gillg

Census information is Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk

FAIREY/FAIRY/FAREY/FEARY, LAWSON, CHURCH, BENSON, HALSTEAD from Easton, Ellington, Eynesbury, Gt Catworth, Huntingdon, Spaldwick, Hunts;  Burnley, Lancs;  New Zealand, Australia & US.

HURST, BOLTON,  BUTTERWORTH, ADAMSON, WILD, MCIVOR from Milnrow, Newhey, Oldham & Rochdale, Lancs., Scotland.

Offline groom

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Re: Did I do something wrong?
« Reply #15 on: Sunday 01 July 18 11:50 BST (UK) »
It will be interesting now to see how the tree owner reacts. I presume that if they don't remove them that GR will be within their rights to remove the tree completely?
Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk

Online Gillg

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Re: Did I do something wrong?
« Reply #16 on: Sunday 01 July 18 11:57 BST (UK) »
Hm, that's a thought.....  I'm not the vengeful sort, so I hope not, but I do suspect he/she is a bit of a name collector.
Census information is Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk

FAIREY/FAIRY/FAREY/FEARY, LAWSON, CHURCH, BENSON, HALSTEAD from Easton, Ellington, Eynesbury, Gt Catworth, Huntingdon, Spaldwick, Hunts;  Burnley, Lancs;  New Zealand, Australia & US.

HURST, BOLTON,  BUTTERWORTH, ADAMSON, WILD, MCIVOR from Milnrow, Newhey, Oldham & Rochdale, Lancs., Scotland.

Offline jbml

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Re: Did I do something wrong?
« Reply #17 on: Sunday 05 August 18 11:02 BST (UK) »
Gillg ... to return to your original question ... you did nothing at all wrong, and everything right.

I understand your pain, however, and consternation, that somebody could have taken your words, intended in a friendly and supportive manner, and so misinterpreted them as to respond in such a manner. Researchers tell us that only about 13% of our meaning is communicated through the words we use, and 87% comes from non-verbal prompts. A written communication such as an e-mail has none of these non-verbal prompts, and without them people are sometimes at something of a loss to perceive the writer's real intent.

This is what I call "the autism of the internet". I am autistic in real life, and sometimes get reactions like this to things I say, because I neither read nor accurately transmit the kinds of non-verbal cues and prompts that other people rely on so much. On the internet, however, we are all reduced to a state of autism; and I believe it is this absence of non-verbal prompts which leads to the sudden and unexpected rows-over-nothing for which internet discussion groups are so notorious.

Best wishes,

J
All identified names up to and including my great x5 grandparents: Abbot Andrews Baker Blenc(h)ow Brothers Burrows Chambers Clifton Cornwell Escott Fisher Foster Frost Giddins Groom Hardwick Harris Hart Hayho(e) Herman Holcomb(e) Holmes Hurley King-Spooner Martindale Mason Mitchell Murphy Neves Oakey Packman Palmer Peabody Pearce Pettit(t) Piper Pottenger Pound Purkis Rackliff(e) Richardson Scotford Sherman Sinden Snear Southam Spooner Stephenson Varing Weatherley Webb Whitney Wiles Wright