Author Topic: Need to find half brother - don't know his name  (Read 968 times)

Offline Gkg434

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Need to find half brother - don't know his name
« on: Sunday 22 July 18 09:46 BST (UK) »
Hi all

I'm 34 years old and just found out I have a 49 year old half brother. Apparently my grandparents wanted to hide this so bad that they sent my mom to a catholic boarding school so no one but them ever knew about him.

Obviously I'm in shock but also really excited to meet my brother. But I don't know his name. Literally all I know is his birthdate and that it was in palm beach. I know his mom and dads names but I don't even know if they'd be on the birth certificate. My sister says he may live in Chicago.

I've never done anything like this before so I figured instead of spinning my wheels I'd just ask for help from people who know what they're talking about. I hope I can find him! And I hope he wants to know us too!

Does anyone know how I could find out his name and find him?

Thank you in advance for your help!

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Offline Jackiemh

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Re: Need to find half brother - don't know his name
« Reply #1 on: Sunday 22 July 18 10:19 BST (UK) »
Welcome to Rootschat.
I would suggest that you tread carefully as he may not know about you. Is there any way you can contact his 'parents' and talk to them first.
Jackie
Bateman, Baylis, Bellotti, Bower (Stillgebauer), Cattermole, Chester, Dullage, Felix, French, Garrett, Gilbert, Harding, Haynes, Hazelwood, Plume, Rudge, Strickson, Warren, Whitehead, Whitehorn

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Offline Gkg434

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Re: Need to find half brother - don't know his name
« Reply #2 on: Sunday 22 July 18 20:30 BST (UK) »
Jackie

I agree that he probably doesn't know about me, but I'm sure he knows he has biological family out there and I hope he wants to know us as much as we want to know him.

I don't know how I can find his adoptive parents. If I could I think I could easily find him. But I only know the names of his biological parents.

Offline Daisypetal

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Re: Need to find half brother - don't know his name
« Reply #3 on: Sunday 22 July 18 21:20 BST (UK) »

Hi,

Welcome to RootsChat  :)


Was he adopted in Palm Beach, Florida?  If so this site might help,

http://www.adoptflorida.com/reunion-registry.htm

He might have registered himself if he is looking for his biological family.


However he might not know that he was adopted so I agree with Jackie, tread carefully  :)


Regards,
Daisy
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Offline aghadowey

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Re: Need to find half brother - don't know his name
« Reply #4 on: Sunday 22 July 18 21:22 BST (UK) »
"My sister says he may live in Chicago. "
Sounds like your sister and perhaps other family members know more than they've told you so far,
Please do NOT ask for lookups by Personal Message.

Offline Gkg434

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Re: Need to find half brother - don't know his name
« Reply #5 on: Saturday 18 August 18 23:22 BST (UK) »
Daisypetal - Thank you very much for sharing that. Yes he was born in Palm Beach County, Florida and he may now live in Chicago. I have filled out the application and am hopeful that he may be listed on FARR.

aghadowey - my sisters are just as anxious as I am to find him, they live in the same city as my mom so they were able to squeeze this info out of her. I'm sure that my mom knows more, but my mom chose to give him up when she was just 22 years old and she had a really hard time with it. So I think my mom has learned to shut down and pretend like it never happened as a way to avoid the feelings instead of dealing with it. It was an incredible shock to learn about him... but it does explain a lot about why my mom is so attached to her kids and why she is so sensitive and emotional. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for her. But I also think that my sisters and I, and our half brother have the right to meet each other - if he also wants to.

Offline Caw1

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Re: Need to find half brother - don't know his name
« Reply #6 on: Sunday 19 August 18 00:41 BST (UK) »
Hi Gkg

This is a very sensitive subject to deal with so as others have said tread carefully. Does your mother want you to try and find him or haven't you mentioned it to her?
Here in Uk the adoption agencies have records of children but they are only accessible by the adopted person, other family members have to go through intermediaries to obtain the information, so don't know if it's the same in US. It might be worth you checking this out first.
He may have been told he's adopted but if his adopted parents are still living and he had a good life with them he may feel it's not right for him to look for his birth parents at the moment.
I discovered many years ago I had half siblings our father is the common thread and they moved from UK to Canada with their mother and when I eventually traced them they knew all about me! I've met them both in 2016 and now all communication no longer exists except for Birthday and Christmas cards, so it doesn't always go to plan!
I'm not trying to be negative, just realistic as with the excitement this information brings you just think carefully.
I wish you luck and hope that it works out for you as I'm sure if you do find him the relief for your mother will be immense.

Caroline
Guy - UK,USA
Bangerter -UK,Australia,Switzerland
Harriss - UK, Australia
Merrall - UK
Swinnock - UK
Lloyd - UK

Offline Gkg434

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Re: Need to find half brother - don't know his name
« Reply #7 on: Sunday 19 August 18 23:44 BST (UK) »
Caw1

Thank you for your input. I'm preparing myself for any kind of reaction from him, so if he wants nothing to do with me I am ready to accept and respect whatever he wants. My mom's way of dealing with it is to pretend it never happened. I think it's too painful for her to face, so I don't really talk to her about it, and if I meet him and she doesn't want to, that's between him and her. But as for my sisters and I, we can't imagine going our whole lives and never meeting our brother, or at least doing everything we can to make the effort. Ultimately he would have to want to meet us too. So we hope he wants too. Of course I think it would be incredible if him and I hit it off and he became a role model to me and I became like a little brother to him - but realistically I don't expect anything like that to happen. Realistically I would be so happy to have what you described; to just meet him and even if it ends up with us meeting one day and never seeing each other again, at least we can close that chapter of our lives and not wonder who our brother is forever.

Offline Jackiemh

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Re: Need to find half brother - don't know his name
« Reply #8 on: Monday 20 August 18 01:00 BST (UK) »
I think that everyone is wishing you luck. Just go carefully.
Jackie
Bateman, Baylis, Bellotti, Bower (Stillgebauer), Cattermole, Chester, Dullage, Felix, French, Garrett, Gilbert, Harding, Haynes, Hazelwood, Plume, Rudge, Strickson, Warren, Whitehead, Whitehorn