Author Topic: Relationship advice please  (Read 1662 times)

Offline heywood

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Relationship advice please
« on: Saturday 01 September 18 21:34 BST (UK) »
Hello everyone,

Please could you help me work through this.
My Ancestry results show four ‘2nd cousin matches’.

A shows 247 centimorgans across 12 segments.
B = 234 across 13
C=  228 across 13
D=  210 across 12

B is a known child of a first cousin and therefore shares ancestry with me through both paternal grandparents
C and D are known second cousins (first cousins to each other)  and share ancestry with me through one paternal grandparent (their grandparent being a sibling to mine)

A is a shared match to B and D but not C.

I am told that one of A’s parents was adopted.

Is this right?
A is connected through both my paternal grandparents.
A is either my second cousin or 1st cousin once removed.

I hope you can follow this.

Thanks
Heywood

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Offline sugarfizzle

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Re: Relationship advice please
« Reply #1 on: Sunday 02 September 18 00:05 BST (UK) »
Heywood, The 'rule' in DNA matching is to find MRCA - most recent common ancestor/s.

B shares grandparents with you, first cousin once removed.
C and D share common great grandparents with you (not one common grandparent), second cousins.

A, B, C and D all share broadly similar amounts of DNA with you, but A and C do not match at all, though they are obviously related (are you sure they don't match at 5th to 8th cousin level, which ancestry won't necessarily show)?

For guidance, refer to Shared cM project -

 https://thegeneticgenealogist.com/2017/08/26/august-2017-update-to-the-shared-cm-project/

It is impossible to say what the relationship is, could be as you have suggested, or closer, or more distant.

Sorry to have not been more helpful, bit it will be a question of finding out whether A is older or younger than you, generation wise, what they know if anything about their family tree, etc etc.

Regards Margaret
STEER, mainly Surrey, Kent; PINNOCKS/HAINES, Gosport, Hants; BARKER, mainly Broadwater, Sussex; Gosport, Hampshire; LAVERSUCH, Micheldever, Hampshire; WESTALL, London, Reading, Berks; HYDE, Croydon, Surrey; BRIGDEN, Hadlow, Kent and London; TUTHILL/STEPHENS, London
WILKINSON, Leeds, Yorkshire and Liverpool; WILLIAMSON, Liverpool; BEARE, Yeovil, Somerset; ALLEN, Kent and London; GORST, Liverpool; HOYLE, mainly Leeds, Yorkshire

Census Information is Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.go

Offline heywood

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Re: Relationship advice please
« Reply #2 on: Sunday 02 September 18 00:14 BST (UK) »
Thanks for your reply, Margaret.
I am happy with the known ones.
It is the unknown one. Their parent is my generation and unknown family origins which cannot be traced.
As you can tell, my view of this is very simple and I can see that it is more complex than I thought.
There is no problem - I will continue to try to understand (slowly.  :)

Heywood
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Offline sugarfizzle

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Re: Relationship advice please
« Reply #3 on: Sunday 02 September 18 00:49 BST (UK) »
If their parent is your generation, it is more likely perhaps to be the first cousin once removed, i.e.A's 'unknown through adoption' parent is your cousin. Or similar relationship.

Less likely perhaps to be 2nd cousin relationship or similar.

Which opens up a minefield really. If you have any cousins who could possibly have given birth to or fathered a child at approximately the time A was born, will you ask the cousin or will you say nothing?  You may be able to work it out for yourself, but what are your responsibilities to A and what to your cousin?

Difficult one.

But don't forget, could be, using averages at Blaire Bettinger's site -

Half 1st cousin once removed
1st cousin twice removed
2nd cousin (unlikely, due to generation)
Or more combinations of removed and halved!

A would ideally find closer matches to confirm relationship, at the moment it's a guessing game.

Regards Margaret
STEER, mainly Surrey, Kent; PINNOCKS/HAINES, Gosport, Hants; BARKER, mainly Broadwater, Sussex; Gosport, Hampshire; LAVERSUCH, Micheldever, Hampshire; WESTALL, London, Reading, Berks; HYDE, Croydon, Surrey; BRIGDEN, Hadlow, Kent and London; TUTHILL/STEPHENS, London
WILKINSON, Leeds, Yorkshire and Liverpool; WILLIAMSON, Liverpool; BEARE, Yeovil, Somerset; ALLEN, Kent and London; GORST, Liverpool; HOYLE, mainly Leeds, Yorkshire

Census Information is Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.go


Offline heywood

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Re: Relationship advice please
« Reply #4 on: Sunday 02 September 18 01:02 BST (UK) »
I agree it is a guessing game and I do not think it is my business really to do anything further.
If it is a first cousin, they would most likely be deceased.
That does not mean, I can’t speculate in my own mind but I am not going to share this with any remaining relatives as there is no real evidence and we are all getting older  ;)
In addition, my family births are spread over quite a span so there can be several years difference in cousin ages so who knows!

Thanks for your replies.

It is an interesting topic.  :)
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Offline Nova67

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Re: Relationship advice please
« Reply #5 on: Sunday 02 September 18 04:02 BST (UK) »
Have you looked at your shared matches, which often indicate a common surname amongst them.
Honour your female ancestors by remembering to record woman by their maiden name.

Offline sugarfizzle

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Re: Relationship advice please
« Reply #6 on: Sunday 02 September 18 06:44 BST (UK) »
Nova67, Heywood knows how he is connected to 3 of them. The 4th one has no names in common in his/her tree due to adoption.

All 5 of them will find the same surnames in their matches if they are descended from the same great grandparents. All 5 will also have different surnames, depending upon their descent.

It is only A who is perhaps 'looking for answers' and will find common surnames in his/her other shared matches. I would think that Heywood has no access to this information.

Regards Margaret
STEER, mainly Surrey, Kent; PINNOCKS/HAINES, Gosport, Hants; BARKER, mainly Broadwater, Sussex; Gosport, Hampshire; LAVERSUCH, Micheldever, Hampshire; WESTALL, London, Reading, Berks; HYDE, Croydon, Surrey; BRIGDEN, Hadlow, Kent and London; TUTHILL/STEPHENS, London
WILKINSON, Leeds, Yorkshire and Liverpool; WILLIAMSON, Liverpool; BEARE, Yeovil, Somerset; ALLEN, Kent and London; GORST, Liverpool; HOYLE, mainly Leeds, Yorkshire

Census Information is Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.go

Offline heywood

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Re: Relationship advice please
« Reply #7 on: Sunday 02 September 18 08:35 BST (UK) »
Thanks Margaret.

Nova67
A is only following one parental line which can easily be traced.
Our connection has been revealed through DNA but cannot be followed.

Regards
Heywood
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Offline Nova67

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Re: Relationship advice please
« Reply #8 on: Sunday 02 September 18 09:38 BST (UK) »
Okay. I have been able to help other’s find parentage through their shared matches. Admittedly, a number of my close family have tested. The common surname became very obvious.
Honour your female ancestors by remembering to record woman by their maiden name.