Sharing information a gripe

[jksdelver]

Is is just me or is it a general problem. I have found on more than one instance where I have shared information on families, I don’t hear anything else from the person who I have shared it with. I tend to send  information and asks them to check and update me on any data they feel is incorrect. I expect them to share details on their research.

Grrrrrrrr

[Maggsie]

Hi,
No, it is not you, it's me and a few 100,000 others.

Maggsie

[jksdelver]

😀

Hi,
No, it is not you, it's me and a few 100,000 others.

Maggsie

[Mart 'n' Al]

My advice is don't show your hand all at once. Offer a little bit of information, and hope you get something in return. If you do, be a bit more generous next time.  Alternately like that. Offer somebody a photograph and wait until you get one back. Next time off for a little bit more, and some information, and perhaps a certificate, and hope they reciprocate.

Martin

[Regorian]

Good advice from Martin. I tend to send everything I've got when asked and no reply, no thanks.

I've had photographs lifted, I don't mind if acknowledged. There's a pic. out there which I misID'd. I was given a whole lot of photographs in the 1990's before the 1901 Census was available. When it was I realised the person had died in 1897 as evidenced by the Census describing my ancestor's husband as a widower. I warned the lifter, but as far as I know the offending pic. is still there. 

[jksdelver]

Yes generally what I do. But beginning to think I won’t bother at all next time

My advice is don't show your hand all at once. Offer a little bit of information, and hope you get something in return. If you do, be a bit more generous next time.  Alternately like that. Offer somebody a photograph and wait until you get one back. Next time off for a little bit more, and some information, and perhaps a certificate, and hope they reciprocate.

Martin

[iluleah]

It is not just you...happens all too often... and although FH reasearch is what some of us do, many are collectors and these people want instant result in  a society now that expects instant results in seconds.

I have been bitten too many times by one sided collectors who want everything and disappear. So I am much more careful now.


I connected with a researcher 23 yrs ago, who told me about someone else who had no computer, so I was given her name/address and wrote to her, so by letter over the years we helped each other, shared our common interest, lots of records , photos and stories  and 8 yrs in I made arrangements  to visit which I did and made friends with her and her husband who were some 40 yrs older than me. We wrote to each other most weeks I visited them lots of times, even taught them to use the computer and when I left England gave them a PC (but the letters writing continued) a couple of years ago she lost her husband and  last year my letters started to be returned undelivered/not known at this address, they have three sons but no one informed me of anything.

One person recently who contacted me first 10yrs ago and over the yrs I have sent copies of records, I wrote out personal stories/memories of their x3 grandparent who they never knew/met but I knew as a child, they sent me a photo of him and all his siblings ( all who I knew) and my great grandparents which was nice as I didn't know them nor had a seen a photo of before..... then 18 months after no contact totally out of the blue I recieved a very nasty passive agreesive email from her which was a total shock, totally unwarranted attacking me for no reason whatsoever, well no reason I could work out.

Not sure if it is manners that are lacking as when I was a child if someone sent you something I was told to write a letter to say thank you. I taught my kids to do the same however over the last 30 yrs I have worked with many children/young people and although most are great and some exceptional I have notice a growing "me, me, me" attitude, take and go, not even an acknowledgment or thank you

[jksdelver]

Nice one iluleah. ‘Nowt as queer as folk’ as the saying goes. It does get to you when it ends like that. When like the most of us it’s a great hobby. Shame that it gets spoilt.