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England (Counties as in 1851-1901) => England => Topic started by: candyflossyum on Tuesday 10 October 06 23:46 BST (UK)

Title: Why Can't I Find My Dad?
Post by: candyflossyum on Tuesday 10 October 06 23:46 BST (UK)
i know my dads date of birth (19/01/1938) and i know he died in 1987,when he was young he lived in paddington and then moved to harrow with his mum gladys and stepfather john,his stepfather adopted my dad and his brother and they went on to have 2 more children.

the story goes that my dad and his brother were born out of wedlock to some lord or someother person of standing,but this could all be codswallop.

i cannot for the life of me find out any information about him or his family at all,my mum doesnt remember much as they divorced in 1980,she remembers that his mum gladys died in about 1969 but i cant find her either!!

there is no trace of his previous name and i dont know where to carry on looking,his brother moved to canada in the 60,s i have been in contact with him to ask about the family history but never recieved a reply. his other siblings wherabouts is unknown to me.

anyone have any ideas?
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: candyflossyum on Tuesday 10 October 06 23:48 BST (UK)
might help if i put his name on my posting! ::) Derek Bates
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: Kevwood on Tuesday 10 October 06 23:59 BST (UK)
Hi, what you want to do is try to find any of the childrens' births to get mothers maiden name and then look for your dad to see if its listed under that.

Kev.
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: candyflossyum on Wednesday 11 October 06 00:00 BST (UK)
thanks for the quick reply,but i have tried that and am still coming up blank! maybe they were all the immaculate conception ;D
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: Kevwood on Wednesday 11 October 06 00:06 BST (UK)
 ;D

do you mind if i ask whereabouts did your dad die?

there is a derek john Dean listed in 1987 but his birth was 19 june 1938 not 19 jan 1938



Kev
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: candyflossyum on Wednesday 11 October 06 00:09 BST (UK)
his name was derek james bates and he died in a homeless mens unit somewhere in london! not very helpful i know,i too keep coming up with derek john dean argggg ;D
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: Kevwood on Wednesday 11 October 06 00:12 BST (UK)
this may sound stupid but are you certain it isn't

 Derek J Bates born june qrtr 1938 Lewisham (1d 1134)
mothers maiden name Bayley

Kev.
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: candyflossyum on Wednesday 11 October 06 00:18 BST (UK)
blimey im only 35 :o lol, i guess there is always the possibility that it could be his step fathers relative??
 i seem to remember that his brother lived in borehamwood (dont ask me where that gem just popped up from!!) i might have a look around the phone book companies see if that pulls anything up.

maybe if my letter to his brother in canada has hit a raw nerve it may not be so for his half brother? worth a shot,lets see how many people i can upset in 1 year :'(

thank you for trying for me,i really appreciate it
sharon
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: Kevwood on Wednesday 11 October 06 00:19 BST (UK)
sorry should be 1938!!! the year you said he was born ;D ;D
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: candyflossyum on Wednesday 11 October 06 00:33 BST (UK)
i cant believe it! that could well be him,just been searching ancestry to pull that file up and its coming up with nothing,im gonna keep trying though,thank you so much.

and dont worry about the 1838 bit after all this searching it feels like i was born then let alone my dad lol.
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: Kevwood on Wednesday 11 October 06 00:36 BST (UK)
got from there?

just goto complete birth listings and enter the name and year ,leave the qrtr as all cos sometimes it go a bit squiffy.
and you should find it.


Off now

Good luck

Kev. ;D
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: gazania on Wednesday 11 October 06 00:44 BST (UK)
On the assumption your Dad's birth was first registered under a different surname, I would suggest you collect for a period of say 3months near his known birth date, all instances of the Christian name of Derek from the birth index.  I know this will be an arduous task but the name Derek is not so common and hopefully Derek was name he was registered with.   Also Mum may have moved away to have the baby, so all places within reason.

(If you knew Roger's approx birth, you could search until you found a corresponding surname.  Very arduous, I know.)

Keep this list of surnames when doing further research.  I broke down a brick wall by collecting possible surnames in the 1860s, but unlike you I had the census indexes to then search.

Do you have a possible year that Mum and Step dad married?  Another arduous task, if you are desperate.  But a corresponding surname may crop up.

The very best of luck, Gazania
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: candyflossyum on Wednesday 11 October 06 00:48 BST (UK)
great idea,my brain is a bit frazzled now,but i understand what you are saying and hey i love a challenge!!.

also his d.o.b was definatly january and his brother was younger than him so he must have had a different surname before then.

thank you very much.

sharon x
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: candyflossyum on Monday 18 December 06 12:04 GMT (UK)
just an update if anyone remembers me ;),my dads brother in canada wrote to me this week,he has emailed me a picture of my dad when he was young,im so made up i want to shout it from the rooftops!!

i had to tell someone and thought only you lot on here would appreciate how much it means.

my uncle is going to forward all the details about my family that he can.

who needs perfume and jewels when i got this for christmas ;D
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: casalguidi on Monday 18 December 06 14:18 GMT (UK)
Hi Candyflossmum

What a wonderful Christmas present and thankyou very much for sharing it with us :)

Merry Christmas

Casalguidi
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: teap78 on Monday 18 December 06 14:31 GMT (UK)
 ;D Wonderful news Candyfloss. Im glad you got the pic of your dad too

Colette
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: candyflossyum on Monday 18 December 06 14:38 GMT (UK)
thanks guys,fine looking fellow of a man too,wonder how come all my siblings are tall and gorgeous and im short and fat!!! lets hope the picture of my gran will work that one out for me  :o

heres the pic cos im so proud ;D
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: candyflossyum on Monday 18 December 06 14:39 GMT (UK)
oops hes the one on the left ::)
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: Lainys on Monday 18 December 06 15:16 GMT (UK)
Ahhh fab news Candyflossymum  :)
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: Tati on Monday 18 December 06 15:20 GMT (UK)
Fantastic news, Candyflossyum   8)  8)  8)  8)

And I agree he looks good too  :D  :D

Tanja  :)   
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: teap78 on Monday 18 December 06 18:41 GMT (UK)
Hey candy your dad was the double of the actor Stewart Granger
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: candyflossyum on Monday 18 December 06 19:26 GMT (UK)
my kids reckon he looks like david tennant,dr blinkin who!!! :o i much prefer the stuart granger comment,all childrens smart comments will be ignored forthwith ;D
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: celia on Monday 18 December 06 19:59 GMT (UK)
Wow Sharon
that is fantastic,I read your mail a while back,wasnt sure if anything would happen for you because of the year.Just showstogoyer :D what can.

Celia
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: aspin on Monday 18 December 06 20:28 GMT (UK)
So pleased for you Sharon
Your Dad was born the day before me
Jan 1938
And the photo is just like the boys we had in our youth
So pleased for you
Elizabeth
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: Kevwood on Monday 18 December 06 20:33 GMT (UK)
Fantastic news ;D ;D

Great picture, so happy for you.

Let us know what you find out so we can see if we got anywhere near ;D

Kev.
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: candyflossyum on Monday 18 December 06 20:41 GMT (UK)
thanks guys,im on this p.c all day long waiting for my uncle to reply :D.i think my new years resolution will have to be how to be patient!!

i will let you all know details as soon as i know.

KEVWOOD didnt they have great looking teddyboys in 1838 ;D  :P ;)
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: Kevwood on Monday 18 December 06 20:59 GMT (UK)
 ;D ;D ;D ;D :P
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: Handaros on Thursday 21 December 06 02:56 GMT (UK)
Candyfloss, this is wonderful news  :) :) :)  I'm so excited for you, please keep us all updated.

Hugs,

Cindy  :-*
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: candyflossyum on Thursday 21 December 06 10:50 GMT (UK)
still no email from my uncle :'(,hopefully its just because its xmas and everyones busy.
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: Handaros on Thursday 21 December 06 22:08 GMT (UK)
Oh no candyfloss  :( :(

Have everything crossed that you hear very soon,

Hugs,

Cindy xxxxx
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: Nadine Moore on Monday 25 December 06 14:08 GMT (UK)
He certainly was a handsome chap. Hope you find some answers in the new year, and try to remember that if not for the first small step, you couldn't walk anywhere. Be patient with your uncle and i'm sure he'll come good for you.

best wishes for 2007

Dinie
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: candyflossyum on Wednesday 28 February 07 11:31 GMT (UK)
still no reply :'(,i dont think i am going to get one now do you! anyway i went for a snoop to the library at the voting record thingies (sorry my brains gone dead but you know what i mean ???) and it seems that john bates was actually called benjamin!!! no wonder im not getting anywhere,john was a nickname,they were at the address until 1972 then they all dissapeared,gladys died before my mum fell pregnant which was 1971,so there must be a bit of a hiccup on the records.

does anyone know where she would have had her death registered as our registry office in harrow wasnt built until 1971 so its not likely that she was registered there.

thanks for putting up with me :-[

sharon x
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: Nadine Moore on Wednesday 28 February 07 12:46 GMT (UK)
Sharon

Well done for persevering.

Don't give up on your uncle, have you thought he may have been unwell or lost your address or something. Do you have a mailing address, could you send a letter that includes pictures of yourself and any information you could share with him about your life, etc.

Don't forget, not everyone is as enthusiatic about their past as we Rootschatters are :D :D

dinie
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: candyflossyum on Wednesday 28 February 07 12:54 GMT (UK)
im going to have to inject him with some rootschatters serum arent i lol. i have sent him pictures of all of us in the past and kept him upto date with whats happening here. i always get a xmas card,this year is the first time hes written a letter and emailed me so i guess i got over excited,bates men are not known for their communication skills  ;)

anyway i will keep smiling and try not to emailnag him,thanks for your reply.

sharon x
Title: Re: Why Can't I Find My Dad?
Post by: aghadowey on Wednesday 28 February 07 13:01 GMT (UK)
How about writing a letter to say thank you so much for sending the photo of your dad- and that you are really looking forward to any family details he can send you.
Title: Re: why cant i find my dad??
Post by: dawnsh on Sunday 04 March 07 14:34 GMT (UK)
does anyone know where she would have had her death registered as our registry office in harrow wasnt built until 1971 so its not likely that she was registered there.

Hi Sharon

Have you tried ringing the Civic Centre and asking them?

Tel: 020 8424 1618
Fax: 020 8424 1414
Email: register.office[at]harrow.gov.uk

Dawn

Moderator comment: email address amended to prevent spam and other abuses.  Please replace @ with [at]
Title: Re: Why Can't I Find My Dad?
Post by: carol8353 on Monday 12 March 07 07:05 GMT (UK)
The Register Office used to be at 7 Lyon Road,Harrow. tel Har 6135

But all the BMD's registers were transferred to the Civic Centre when it opened.So you should find what you want there?

I grew up in Harrow in the 50's and 60's. ;D
But couldn't affiord a house there when I married in 1973  >:(

Carol
Title: Re: Why Can't I Find My Dad?
Post by: candyflossyum on Wednesday 14 March 07 10:49 GMT (UK)
thanks for the help guys.

i still cant afford to live in harrow,all those lovely big victorian houses,i would love to buy my grandmas house back,it still had original bakelite light switches and fireplaces in every room in 1989 when she sold up,bet their gone now :-\
Title: Re: Why Can't I Find My Dad?
Post by: candyflossyum on Monday 16 July 07 08:49 BST (UK)
im so excited!!! my uncle sent me an email this morning ;D

my dads original surname was whelpdale his mums name was rosewarne.

the search begins!!!!
woooooooooohooooooooooooooooo

just wanted to share my joy lol

xx shaz xx
Title: Re: Why Can't I Find My Dad?
Post by: dawnsh on Monday 16 July 07 09:22 BST (UK)
Hi Sharon

"All good things come to those who wait" or something like that.

Happy hunting  ;D

Dawn
Title: Re: Why Can't I Find My Dad?
Post by: GeoffP on Monday 16 July 07 09:46 BST (UK)

Hi Sharon,

I just picked up on your thread. What a fascinating story. Just shows that perserverance pays off.

                                  Regards
                                              Geoff
Title: Re: Why Can't I Find My Dad?
Post by: Rosemary* on Monday 16 July 07 10:01 BST (UK)

   Hi,

       CONGRATULATIONS

   Iv'e been following your story ...... brilliant !!!!!!

   If you need any census lookups PM me

   Kind regards   Rosemary
Title: Re: Why Can't I Find My Dad?
Post by: candyflossyum on Monday 16 July 07 12:07 BST (UK)
thank you so much for all your replies,i have been on here all morning trying to track them down and so far no luck,but im not giving up that easy ;)

xx shaz xx
Title: Re: Why Can't I Find My Dad?
Post by: teap78 on Wednesday 13 June 18 20:30 BST (UK)
Hello Flossy  I've not been on for quite a while long story of illness and death.
Any how I'm just looking over old posts and wondering how things went for you in your search.

Colette
Title: Re: Why Can't I Find My Dad?
Post by: dawnsh on Wednesday 13 June 18 22:42 BST (UK)
Welcome back Colette

shaz hasn't been online here since October 2007.

If her email address hasn't changed, she'll receive a notification that you have posted again.
Title: Re: Why Can't I Find My Dad?
Post by: Annette7 on Thursday 14 June 18 03:34 BST (UK)
Been looking at this as always enjoy a good mystery.

Gladys M. Rosewarne married Frederick W. Whelpdale 1951 Paddington - so, neither Derek or Roger born as Whelpdale.

Eventually found that Derek J. Rosewarne, mmn Rosewarne, was born Mar.qtr.1941 (not 1938) and Roger J. in 1948 Paddington.

Gladys was probably the Gladys M Rosewarne birth Dec.1919 Shoreditch, mmn Gibbons.

A Gladys Maud Bates born 2/10/1919 died Mar.1972 Hillingdon.  Cannot see a marriage for Gladys to a Mr. Bates though.

Annette