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General => The Common Room => Topic started by: jo1962 on Tuesday 15 May 18 00:26 BST (UK)
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Hi everybody,
would welcome your thoughts on why an upper middle class woman of 25 would marry a man of 57? The year being 1917. Her parents were very wealthy so it obviously wasn't for the money the marriage would bring her. The man died a year after the marriage, interestingly she 4 years layer married a man the same age as her so I have ruled out that she was attracted to older men or was looking for a father figure.
Thanks
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Money? ;)
Maybe he was after her money? ;D
Status?
Parental pressure?
Some reason related to the war?
Maybe she liked him?
Although her family were wealthy, if she was not the oldest son, she may not have seen any of it. ;)
Did her first husband leave a will, and if so was his wife mentioned in the will?
It really is anyone's guess as to why she married him. Did they have any children?
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As Ruskie has said, there are any number of reasons why. You will probably never know for sure. On another thread recently someone said we can find all the facts but never why.
Researching the husband's background might give you some more insight.
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:) to get away from her parents' control
:) lust
:) because he proposed to her
:) she was pregnant by him
:) she was pregnant by someone he knew and he was happy to support his friend's child
:) he needed a person who knew how to handle the household staff and manage the household expenses
:) there was no-one else available in her social network/age group as they had all enlisted for the western front
:) she knew he had a medical issue and her nursing knowledge would assist in his palliative care and by marriage, she was not causing issues for her parents by her living under same roof as her patient.
JM
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Hi everybody,
would welcome your thoughts on why an upper middle class woman of 25 would marry a man of 57? The year being 1917. Her parents were very wealthy so it obviously wasn't for the money the marriage would bring her. The man died a year after the marriage, interestingly she 4 years layer married a man the same age as her so I have ruled out that she was attracted to older men or was looking for a father figure.
Thanks
Rather than ask for guesses why not try to research for more details of their lives both before and after the marriage and any reports of the marriage.
Wealthy parents does not mean she would be wealthy herself or even benefit from their wealth, they could have been very stingy or very controlling.
Her husband could have offerred her everything that was missing from her life or she perhaps offered him everything that was missing from his life.
The only way you will get close to the truth is to undertake deep research into their lives.
Hope this helps
Cheers
Guy
PS this will probably mean research in the archives and libraries around where they lived
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I have an even greater disparity of age. My great grandmother at the age of 29 married a 70 year old man. 9 and a half months later she gave birth. The father died the following year, obviously a proud and happy man. Initially we thought the marriage would be due to pregnancy, until we did the arithmetic. There was no family fortune that we are are aware of and it is a mystery that I think we will never solve. A year or two later my great grandmother took up with (we've never found a marriage) a man who, with her, fathered 6 children, including my grandfather.
Martin
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Hi everybody,
would welcome your thoughts on why an upper middle class woman of 25 would marry a man of 57? The year being 1917. Her parents were very wealthy so it obviously wasn't for the money the marriage would bring her. The man died a year after the marriage, interestingly she 4 years layer married a man the same age as her so I have ruled out that she was attracted to older men or was looking for a father figure.
Thanks
I often think that the simplest answers are the correct ones. Why do most people get married? Love.
Regards
Chas
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My Grandfather was 50 years old when he married for the second time, his new wife was 26, he died 9 years later & she was known to say that they had 9 happy years together, I think they married for love despite the age difference.
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He was witty, urbane & made her laugh till she wet herself! ;D
Skoosh.
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My G'g'dad re-married in 1917 at 57yrs old to a 30yrs old spinster, they had 3 children, he had 7 by his first wife and died in 1933 aged 73. She died in 1963 aged 76 and always spoke of him as being a Gentleman. He started working life as Ag. Lab.
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When I was in my 20s I had a friend of similar age who married a nearly 60 year old divorcee with children the same age as she was, totally allowed himself to go to seed so not at all "attractive" one would have thought.
We all wondered "why" at the time - so no hope for descendents in a hundred or two hundred years time when researching their family history!
As has been said - must be love
As has also been said - we can find out what happened, but as to why we can only guess!
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Thanks everyone :)