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General => The Common Room => The Lighter Side => Topic started by: VICTORIA on Thursday 02 August 18 14:07 BST (UK)
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Hi can anyone tell me. If an adopted person marries, would they have to inform this to registrar.
Victoria
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Do you mean would they have to tell the registrar that they were adopted
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if a birth certificate had to be produced the registrar would know as the certificate would be the adoption one
My son had an annoying (for him) time with the registrar when he married as it was known he was adopted and the registrar asked who his father was - son replied the name on the certificate - registrar asked who is your real father ? son replied the name on the certificate - very very stressful time for my adopted but very "real" son.
He did complain as it is totally against the rules to ask that kind of question
My other child married abroad and having to deal with an over enthusiastic travel agent - who had obviously never dealt with an adopted person before asked all kinds of questions about birth parents - the answers my child gave were "no idea" - my children know their origins and have no problems with their birth parents - but neither do they want or need to give information about them without their permission. Also of course this information is very confidential and the persons involved had no right to ask such questions
Suz
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Yes, a friend of mine has just learned that his father was adopted. So therefore the surname he has now is the name his father was given. I wondered if he sent off for his parents marriage certificate the fact that his father was adopted would be on marriage certificate.
Victoria
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No it would not as the father's legal name and legal parents are the names which are on the adoption certificate which does not give any previous names - the adoption certificate is used in place of the original birth certificate
the adoptive parents would not know the birth parents names - unless of course the child was born to someone they knew
Years ago adopted children often did not know as when a birth certificate had to be produced the shortened version was used which just gave name pob dob - as did the shortened version of adoption cert -but now usually a full certificate is required
Suz
Suz
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My husband is adopted - never mentioned it when we got married (I don't remember providing birth certificates either)
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Thanks for help excellent information can only hope someone within family can help.
Victoria
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(In E & W) a person marries in the name "they use or are known by" at the time so an adopted person would use their adopted name. There is no need or requirement to refer to any previous name (which as mentioned, they may not even know).
The father's details entered on any marriage register entry can be a natural, adoptive or step-father.
If a birth certificate was produced as part of the ID checking when giving notice to marry, then adoption would be apparent (it would be a certificate from the ACR), but most people use passports to confirm ID, so there would be no indication. The registrar may not even be aware of the adoption at all (and it isn't relevant).
Most adopted people do mention it when giving notice, largely because they aren't sure of the rules/process themselves and want reassuring.
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Both my children were adopted as babies. Within the paperwork we were given were their adoption certificates and because it was post-1975 the adoption society was legally bound to provide as much information as they could about their birth parents, including both parents' names, age, colour of eyes and hair, interests and careers and even reasons why the children were given for adoption. They do have this information, but find it unimportant. (They were not related, by the way.) After the adoption process had gone through the courts they became our children legally and their long birth certificate was replaced with a so-called short certificate, which has been sufficient for any purposes ever since. We also have their adoption certificates, on which their birth parents are not named. They are both married now and were not required to provide information about adoption in any way. Since we are their legal parents my husband's name was entered on the marriage certificate without anyone considering it be otherwise.
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My father was adopted by his mother's parents soon after birth. He didn't find out the truth until he was in his mid fifties, when he tried to get a copy of his birth certificate in order to get a 10-year passport. He had been married a long time, and done all the normal things that people do in life without finding out.
Martin
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He would not have needed his original birth certificate but his full adoption certificate
Suz
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The father's details entered on any marriage register entry can be a natural, adoptive or step-father.
Have the rules changed ? As when we married my husband gave his stepfather as father and it was rejected
Suz
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I always understood that once a child was adopted they became the child of their adoptive parents and lost all rights/connections to their birth parents as far as the law was concerned. So legally the adoptive father is their father and that is what goes on the marriage certificate. Otherwise, what is the point of adoption?
I know from watching Heir Hunters, that if a child is adopted out of the family they can't inherit from their birth parents unless mentioned in a will. However they can inherit as next of kin from their adoptive family.
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you are correct groom
I think the confusion lies in the fact that with the increase of TV programmes where people are looking for their long lost relatives -adoptive parents / siblings etc it now is believed to be a right for them to be traced and the referral to birth parents makes people believe they are the names which have to be entered on certain forms -this is not so
There are still "rules" of who can look for birth parents -e'g' a friend could not have access to the information -as a legal adoption makes it that the child is the legal son/daughter of their adoptive parents and have legal rights to inherit /be named as next of kin - the same rights as any child born to the adoptive parents .
Searching for birth parents has to be carefully considered and usually involving an agency who are able to guide and give counselling if necessary
Outcomes can vary - of our three children - one had a very successful meeting with his birth mother - one has no interest whatsoever he did however meet a sibling which was very pleasant and now just keeps in touch occasionally -but still no interest in his birth mother - our daughter 's meeting had a devastating effect on her life meeting her birth parents and siblings
All of them made their own choices and we helped them whatever their decision
not all meetings are like the TV programmes
Suz
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Have the rules changed ? As when we married my husband gave his stepfather as father and it was rejected
Suz
Certainly the rule now - but I couldn't tell you when it came in, GRO constantly issue new guidance and instructions about these things.
The current guide says:
There may be occasions where a party wishes to show the name of a stepfather
instead. The registrar should point out the difficulties that might arise in future
concerning a link with the birth certificate, but if they still wish to have the name of a
step-father in the marriage entry then the registrar should comply with the request,
provided that the step-father is, or has been, married to the natural or adoptive
mother. The name should be qualified by entering (Step-father) after the name
So legally the adoptive father is their father and that is what goes on the marriage certificate.
The adoptive father is certainly the legal parent - but what goes on the marriage register is whatever the bride/groom choose to have.
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If someone is adopted by a woman alone, her name can be shown on a marriage certificate instead of a father's, because she is the only 'legal' parent.
Melbell
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My grandparents married in 1896. My grandmother's mother Ruth had married two years after the child's birth and we don't know whether Ruth's husband John was also the father of my grandmother, but probably not, as he married again after Ruth's death and handed her over to the care of Ruth's sister, who adopted her informally. On her marriage certificate my grandmother gave her father's name as John, then then his surname, then Ruth's maiden surname. He was probably not her father but her stepfather and his surname was cobbled together in the register, but the registrar doesn't seem to have been too bothered!
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When I married I was just asked who my dad was, I don't remember being aske to prove it.
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My late husband was adopted in the 1950's. When we married his parents were his adopted parents and his name was the one his adopted parents gave him. Groom is right. When he was adopted he became their legal son and heir.
Carol
PS we married 1980 in New Zealand.
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When did it become obligatory to supply proof of identity for marriage?
I've just realised that this is something I don't know!
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I expect 'proof' may be required in areas where potential scam marriages are rife/on the increase.