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General => The Stay Safe Board => Topic started by: Roobarb on Wednesday 23 September 20 23:05 BST (UK)
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Had another of those nights when I couldn't get to sleep, I think it was about 2.30 am when I finally nodded off. Woke to a grey, wet and chilly day and it stayed that way all day. Put the bolognese ingredients in the slow cooker and turned it on, did some ironing. Too wet to go for a walk.
My friend A picked me up to go for lunch at the pub. It was lovely to meet up, have a chat and let someone else do the cooking. There weren't a lot of people in there but as before, everything was done properly.
Back home, had a couple of parcels due today, was pleased they hadn't arrived while I was out, makes things easier. Didn't do much at all, was giving myself a day off! Still chucking it down, this was one of the very few days in the last six months that I didn't go for a walk. It had changed from summer to winter overnight.
Just had a sandwich later, too full after lunch for anything else.
That's it for today. How was your day.?
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Roobarb - Yes, wet and dreary here most of the day .... although a little ray of sunshine about 3pm but storm clouds gathered and it chucked it down.... autumn definitely although outside temp 18C... glad you enjoyed your lunch out, change of scenery is always pleasing..... sometimes good not to do much...
Woke to grey, wet day.... not much to get up for so didn’t! Stayed in bed and read.... late breakfast.... had some paperwork to do... Booked a c n c Waitrose slot for Monday... think I may need fresh bits before then though...
Yesterday I’d set myself three tasks for today.... failed on the first really didn’t feel like doing any yogalates... instead I did the second task....the ironing I watched a programme all about the pyramids in Nubia... very interesting... early archaeologists had a great deal to answer for there sadly...
Had a late lunch as ironing seem to take a long time to do... OH trying to get on with his sandy, pyramid desert scene jigsaw....
Altered pair of trousers I bought and not really worn as far to big...
Got patterns sorted for 🌈 scrubs and laid fabric out on the landing ... really like to use dining table but there’s a jigsaw on it! Crawled around putting pattern pieces on... good job I do exercises every day otherwise never get up and down!
OH offered to cook dinner... only spaghetti but he makes a good one... bless him he’s cleared the table too so at least I can do it there now...
Late dinner following on everything else late today...
Watched couple of episodes of The Crown....
That’s it for today.... hope others have had a more exciting one!
Caroline
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Got on well with bathroom, colour is much better but only one coat as yet .
It is pale but better than too dark.
Yippee, Spitting Image is coming back, well with characters like Donald Trump, too good to miss!
Had a phone call from a dog walking friend ,on for ages but she likes a glascif wine or three in the evening so things got blurred,slurred and downright ridiculous.
No housework done today.
Added to my Tesco list ,will come 26th between 8&9 evening.
My Dad’s Birthday tomorrow,
He died in 1974.
I was living in Belgium .
The work was supposed to be two years but my husband discovered so much that needed sorting out we were there twelve.
I would not have left my Dad so long ,on the other hand we were a family
and I did not want my husband and the boys’ Daddy to be a weekend
visitor. So we went as a family .
He was alone for 17 years ,after Mum died ,twelve of those I was abroad.
I am riddled with guilt , we did ask him to come and live with us but he declined.
I usually have flowers in the house, by his photograph for his birthday,but no chance this year,There are some Rudbekia , I can cut ,a few sweet peas and the odd rose or two.
Well tidy the kitchen and bathroom Visit and bed .
Son usually comes with fresh shopping on Thursdays but I am well stocked up and thought new restrictions would mean he could not come so it is all on my Tesco list.
Means I won’t see him but he does not come in and if it is raining ,not very pleasant .
Well bed calls.
Goodnight ,take care and “speak “to you tomorrow.
Viktoria.
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Just wanted to say hello - weather changed as others have said and have been confined to barracks for a couple of days. Nothing to report - been nowhere and not really done anything of note. I am meeting up with friends for lunch on Saturday so something to look forward to.
Think I've missed posting for a day or two but when nothing is happening there's nothing really to say.
Take care.
Annette
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Viktoria- good to hear your bathroom painting is coming along and a more pleasing shade of yellow!
My father too died in 1974 only 6 months after we married, he had been very ill at the time but had hidden it well... I never got to say goodbye to him as we didn’t leave nearby and could only visit at the W/end... we’d arrive late on Friday night after working all week and go to see him ( in hospital) on Saturday but we never got there as he died late that Friday night....as an only child I was devastated...
I’m sure he watched over me that year as I felt his presence and felt quite comforted ... then one day I realised I didn’t feel it any longer so he must have thought I was ok....
Sorry for being morbid but reading your post just brought it back to me...
I’m sure the flowers picked from your garden will look just as lovely by his photo...
Sorry you don’t get to see your son... people are allowed inside homes now though... or is your area under tighter restrictions?
Annette - glad to see your post as I’d been wondering if all was ok with you.... now the weather is on the turn it’s not so easy to be busy outside! Hope you enjoy lunch out on Saturday..
Caroline
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So many sad memories this morning.
My father died when I was young. I was away, not knowing he was in hospital having heart surgery.
Got a telegram sent by a family friend to my OH; couldn't make head or tail of it because my brain shut down.
Grim times for me.
BUT Please don't feel guilty anymore Viktoria. You say you are "riddled with guilt , we did ask him to come and live with us but he declined."
You made the offer. He declined.
And even if that wasn't so, guilt at this distance only eats you up. :'(
I had a fascinating morning yesterday trying to buy the correct colour paint for the garage door.
Left me a bit rung out for anything else!!
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Sorry to read you feel 'riddled with guilt' Viktoria. I will echo what Mowsehowse has already said in saying try not to feel this way. It might very well have been that your Dad preferred his independence. Lots of elderly people do. If he had wanted to he could have taken up on your offer. He knew he had a choice and that you would have welcomed him if that was what he wanted. :)
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Thankyou everyone,he was a quiet man .
When we were evacuated,split up, my sister and I ,she screamed and carried on dreadfully when Mum had to go back to Manchester after a visit.
Dad cane less frequently as he was working at Trafford Park Avro’s .
The Rolls Royce Merlin engines for Lancasters.
My sister monopolised Mum ,so when both came it was Dad I saw most.We children were with different people .
It must have been hard for Mum that I did not cry and carry on ,she was not a child psychologist and must have thought I had forgotten her.
We never really re connected ,unlike my sister.
I thought more of Dad than my sister who was rather disdainful of him.
But he had throat cancer in 1959, lost his voice box so speech was difficult .
We really thought we would only be away two years,offered him our house so
he could leave the shop he had ,( it was closed during the war ) for the two years then we would look for a bigger house and he could live with us.
We asked him to come to us in Belgium ,but the visits and treatment at
Christie’s would have cost the Earth ,assuming he could have got health insurance at all.
No NHS in Belgium.
So good reasons for him to stay in England .
He died 1974 and we returned 1976.
Quite a lot of visits both ways but not the same is it.
We were travelling to England on Friday. For Easter.
Sister phoned Sunday to say he had been rushed in to Christie’s.
I spoke with the staff and they said he had about six months to live.
That was Monday.
But he died on the following day.A heart attack, which given other things was merciful.
My OH had been on a business trip to Manchester the week before and had visited Dad, tried to persuade him to go to Belgium with my husband ,stay and return with us for our Easter visit ,but he had appointments at Christie’s
and did not want to miss them.
So there we are.
But had I known we would be away for twelve years ,well unless he had joined us or I had stayed in England ,but I could not envisage the little boys seeing their Daddy only at weekends and for him to be driving up or on the train for a good part of the tine was ridiculous ,not to mention our relationship. The cost etc, his firm were not known as generous .
As I remember it they were Scrooge,Scrooge and Tight.Ltd.
But sad and I do have regrets.
So his photograph, in WW1 uniform is here and some flowers.
His ashes scattered at Hill 60, a very strategic site in the battles of Ypres.
Signing off now ,a quick tidy up of things generally and back to the bathroom.
There was a film. “ Back to Bataan”.Ww2, The Americans in the Far East,
and might have been McArthur who said “ We will be back”.
After a withdrawal from a fierce engagement with the Japanese.
Well that is what I said to the bathroom late last night!
Viktoria.
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A very sad story Viktoria, and sad is expected.
And keeping flowers by his photo is lovely.
But guilt is soul destroying, and not worth tearing yourself apart, as that can be the only outcome. :-*
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I think we all have regrets when it comes to death, mine was my father's death 1988, we were at the hospital and left after visiting, he wasn't awake but we said we would go back later, we had no idea he would be near to death, sadly they rang about 10.30, they had tried to contact me here but I was with my mother, a big delay, anyway I insisted we went back to the hospital at 11.30 pm, after all we had promised to go back that evening, I imagine the staff really were not pleased at all but we did get to see him, realistically we shouldn't dwell on whatifs, things are as they are and it doesn't mean we thought less of them and I am sure they know it
Louisa Maud
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Such sad stories Viktoria and Louisa May. I think you are right LM, I think many of us start having thoughts of regrets and think 'if only' when someone really close to us dies. Even though we probably know that deep down this would not be how our loved ones would want us to feel.
Viktoria, even though your Mother was not a child psychologist she probably understood anyway that most siblings won't behave the same in a family. Age, place and circumstances all come in to play. I think your Mother likely knew you both loved her in your individual ways. It must have been so hard on families like yours getting split up due to evacuation. I have read about this and about how people sometimes felt like strangers and found it hard to readjust. Some children went to a completely background and then became used to that it seems, and then had the upheaval of having to readjust again on return. I know you have mentioned before that yours was a happier experience. Perhaps you are a 'bloom where you're planted' type of person - which is a good thing. It must have been so hard on the parents having to let go of their children too for their own good. I can imagine that for many the bonds might have never quite felt the same after those exceptional circumstances.
Regarding your Dad, you did offer for him to come - he had a choice. Also, of course you had to think of your boys. You did the best for them in ensuring they didn't just have a weekend Dad. I know it is only natural to have regrets but you were a loving daughter and loving Mother and you have tried to do your best by all. I hope you can put those regrets to bed Viktoria.
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Thanks,what you all say is true I know, and strangely were it one of you relating a similar story I would say the same.
The point about my Mum was although she would not want me to be sad,how it must have hurt that I did not cry after her.
However,some children “switch off,“ compartmentalise and put things to the back of their minds.
Don’t show emotion, not healthy really ,and I truly think I was saved from the
possible consequences of that by being with such kind people,out of my sister’s large shadow .
That too is why I am a daft extrovert, but life has been a laugh for most of the time!
The friend about whom I was so upset, is home. Her son is main carer but does have carers in now for very personal care.
Not totally clear in her mind but is smiling and so hopefully knows she is at home.
I did not think she would improve so much.
Sadly I don’t think I will see her again, given the restrictions,but it is not about me,is it, her family have her home .
So back to Bataan, ie the bathroom, nearly finished the ceiling, just one corner then the second coat is finished .
Just one wall two coats then skirting boards and door ,undercoat and soft sheen white .
Job done.
Thanks again, one “Dadism”
He used to say he was ravished ,when very hungry .
Mum used to say “ No you are not, you are either ravenous or famished!”
Viktoria.
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They are what I call Hilda Bakers, she was one to mix up her words, done that myself , she meant to say " without fear of contradiction" came out as "fear of contraception", she was the comedienne that said " she knows yer know" in a strong accent
Louisa Maud
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Yes ,her sidekick was Cynthia, never spoke .
Hilda Baker joke coming
A big game hunter was on safari one day, noticed a trail of blood so followed it and found an elephant obviously in great pain ,a big thorn was sticking out if its foot.
He could not leave it or kill it, so taking a chance he pulled the thorn .
The elephant gently felt his face with its trunk and fondled his neck and wandered off.
Some time later ,back in England he took his niece and nephew to the circus.
The final act was the elephants .
In they came ,each holding the tail of the one in front.
The last one paused ,looked hard at the Hunter, let go of the tail of the elephant in front ,and gently wrapped its trunk around the hunter’s neck .
Aaaaw, do you know what did next?
Guess,go on guess.
Well it choked him because it was not the same elephant.
Sorry, I find it funny. ::)
Well ceiling finished ,I must say this paint from Wilko’s is lovely to use.Wonderful coverage .
Well the bathroom paint is.
Need some sealant,you know for round the loo and washbasin so any water ore not get under the floor covering from hippopotamuses named
Flash Harry.
Good feeling having almost finished thr bathroom.
I have nowhere to keep bathroom cleaning stuff , but a better arrangement
with the bath panel, short end would be possible,no room for any cupboard etc.
Sort it later.
Mind you ,when all this is over I want a smaller bath so then there will be room.
Always supposing I have not drowned in this huge bath.
Lemon sole ,chips and peas for tea,abd the last ripe fig for now.Lovely.
Must phone my daughter to see how her business will be affected by the new
Information.
.I really hope, Dad’s birthday apart, you have all had as nice a day as me.
Music, some peace of mind thsnks to all your kind advice and words,
a good job three quarters done ,and looking good (the bathroom not me!I would be arrested for vagrancy if I stepped outside in my painting gear.)
So cheerio ,must phone a friend ,the call ,last night from another dog walking friend revealed a lovely choc ,has cancer.
So must phone her owner .
Viktoria.
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When we replaced our bath we had a bath panel on hinges that we could let down, I store all my toiletries in there
LM
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Brilliant idea!
That makes me think that instead of a plastic side and end panel I could have wooden ones with a door somewhere.
The wall cupboard I want is panelled ,the bath panel could be copied from that,when my trusty joiner can come again.
Thanks .
Viktoria.
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It is surprising how much you can get behind the panel, i have a basket for soap the opposite end to the taps
LM