RootsChat.Com
General => The Stay Safe Board => Topic started by: louisa maud on Monday 09 January 23 12:22 GMT (UK)
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Morning folks , a new week
Hope everyone is feeling chipper today
LM
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Just looking in.
LM, you're at it now, Sunday is the 15th! I think the two of us need putting in a bag and shaking up. :D
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We can be shook up together, what fun!
LM
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Afternoon all.
Doing some tidying and sorting today in between washing.
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😂😂😂 - dates eh… one day blends in to another! If you’re going to shake it up please can you make it summer..
Hope everyone is well… not seem Viktoria on here for a while hope she’s ok?
Well New Year, I wish everyone a better one than last year… resolutions anyone got any?
I’ve started back with Pilates classes and I felt really good today after it… good walk yesterday round the golf course so starting a I mean to go on 🤞🤞.
Sunny today, but that wind is quite chilling ..
Take care all
Caroline
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Viktoria has been about.
LM
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Postman Pat still busy with Christmas cards- another one this morning, 2nd class stamp but not postmarked so I don't know how long it has been since posting.
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I am impatiently waiting for my solicitor to answer my questions re me having to accept I missed a deadline that occurred two weeks before I knew there was something to reply to. Although I am more worried that it happens again with a more damaging petition I would like to know what I can do to protect my children. It feels very uncomfortable constantly living such a restricted life and having no rights.
For the first time since the start of the Christmas holidays my washing basket is temporarily not overflowing. Girls are back at school after holidays today, but then primary school closed for strikes tomorrow.
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Must admit I find happiness if my washing basket is empty and even happier when it is washed and put away, this weather it is more difficult to get dry, I don't use my tumble drier anymore, it is housed in the garage and not so long ago I didn't go out to collect the washing on time, the dial had got stuck with 10 minutes to go, the washing was so hot it was almost to hot to handle, that worried me as to what might have happened, so it is in retirement at the moment till I decide what to do, get a replacement or not
LM.
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I'm in heaven or next best thing
A spa
Near Chester (England)called crabwall manor
Have swum.10 lengths had hottub steam room & sauna
Room was upgraded and it's bigger than my flat !
Fish n chips room service
&Now a bath
The bathroom is bigger than my living room kitchen.
Tomorrow breakfast at 8.30 and aqua gym at 10.30 then use all the facilities again !
Will turn phone off and luxuriate !
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It's nice to know how the other half live Brigid .. ;)
It's alright for some.
I should really be getting off to bed soon as I was up at crack of dawn this morning for work and will be up again at stupid o'clock tomorrow.
I think I've gone down the rabbit hole on RC. Will try to tear myself away soon. Tomorrow will come oh so fast!
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Sleep tight RTL
LM
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You too LM. :)
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Well done with the Pilates Caroline, my class starts again this week. I don't make any resolutions, unless you count not making any resolutions as one!
Viktoria seems to have been contributing to other threads, I hope she comes and joins in here again too.
Brigid, that sounds lovely, I'm so jealous. Apart from the 8.30 breakfast that is. :D
Hope you sleep/slept well RTL.
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Putting threads back in order after quick response to CF previous one :D
Happy new week... 10th of month already !! We had a Christmas card arrive yesterday too without a postmark to give indication of how long it took.
All the best all with whatever plans, rest or relaxation, recreation etc sounds ideal I must say. Just trying to keep with some progress on my part overall really, with a bit of R and R thrown in here and there.
Dentist responded to my emails first thing on reopening Monday morning re twice broken molar, appointment early Friday morning .. it's the 13th, think the bad luck was in timing of break in first place and luckily no real discomfort, may be some in opening mouth and wallet with a bank card groan.
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It is wonderful to have a break from caring for others .
I feel revitalised tho sadly I missed my
friend/ neighbour.s funeral today .
His uncle wanted me to go and do a reading but the date wasnt fixed til this weekend and spa break was already booked .
I recorded a poem and hope it was passed on but not at the actual ceremony.
He lived in a big shared house next to my flat so I think all the residents will do a celebration of life next week . Most of them work night shifts so it's hard to find a good time .
Sorry I made some of you jealous. a stay like is out of my budget normally 😉
We re cutting down on extra costs
Shared evening meal yesterday
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Hello, it is I ,Viktoria.
Been busy sounding off about you know who!
Oh dear, you could not imagine it could you.
Finally finished Flash Harry’s scarf, hat and mitts done ready for Christmas but I kept dropping stitches with theK1P1 for the scarf !
Anyway packed up ready to post.
Rain ! soooo much rain today ,a dark day too.
At Rochdale for eye appointment on Thursday ,then only one more week of one kind of drops and hopefully can get new specs .
Very wise to not use your dryer ,L.M. clothes obviously get hot but not that hot. Wonder if there is a filter and it has got fluffed up?
Some very sad happenings re the charging of Lithium batteries for assisted cycles, in the home .One on the news this evening .
Seemingly there are some cheaper but not best standard batteries on sale.
I leave side lights and radio on timers when I go away, but make sure they are not resting on soft surfaces,usually over metal containers with air underneath so they do not overheat and son not too far away does check on them.
Low wattage bulbs etc.
Five ambulances went up the road last night for some reason they all tested the siren thingy, there would not be patients in them ,the ambulance station is just at the end of the road.They would be going to pick patients up.
Well cough almost gone but truly tired , not put decorations away yet either!
Keep well everyone.
Cheerio.Viktoria.
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Glad you're feeling a lot better. Continue to take it easy as you're doing. The tiredness can last a while.
Still impatiently waiting for solicitor and social work to call me back. Just the usual feeling of dealing with it all alone.
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I really hate waiting for calls ,dry often they just do not come!
I had to speak to the Gas Engineer who services my gas fire.
Before Christmas he came and was to fit a new start motor and a new glass panel.
I have heard nothing so phoned him yesterday ,he proffessed amazement that Domestic and General with whom I have a service contract have not contacted me!
He was to phone me back.
So I will have to chase him and D&G up!
But that is a relatively simple mundane matter by comparison with the calls you are awaiting Pharma.
Hope things start to be resolved for you.
I don’t think Ihave sent Good Wishes for 2023 to anyone on RootsChat as yet so will start with you, Sincere good wishes for a better year Pharma.
Very Best wishes to everyone else too ,in health ,wealth and
happiness .
Many thanks for your kind encouragement to me ,throughout my eye treatment ,my pleasure with Great Grandchildren and the laughs we have shared throughout the year.
Kindest regards everyone .
Viktoria.
At
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Thank you Viktoria, I wish you all my good wishes and a healthy New year.
LM
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Echo that LM/Viktoria ... never too late for good wishes, received another Christmas card in post again today, postmark tells me it was posted in the New Year ... and from a very long time friend who is an ex postie herself :)
Good to hear you have been keeping yourself busy too in one way or another ;) ... I gather that the tiredness is one of the ongoing symptoms of the virus, all the best with wellness returning.
Very sensible erring on caution with the dryer, LM ...says wife of ex fireman who should also be a bit more wary at times!
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Yes Mare, I felt quite out of sorts for a few weeks after Covid, we think we feel better, we might well do but we do need to rest, most of us don't but we should.
My grandaughter is in Philippines on a 6 months pack packing , they have had floods and a lot of people are leaving the country so she is moving on, what a worry ?
Was meant to be meeting up with a friend today but reading the forecast rain is expected, would mean I sit on a bus wet on my journey home so have cancelled it for a better day
Keep well everyone
LM
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Well all set to go to Bury market today, I need new slippers , saw some in an old lady catalogue but pretty sure they will be cheaper on the market and no postage / delivery charges etc.
Can call in the fish market for kippers and M&S for stuff.
A nice round journey BUT son thinks he is being kind in saying ne will take me ,that means parking miles from the market, running after his long legs and not doing everything I want and that has been put off for months!
He means well but I managed perfectly before he came Grrrrrr!
I can do a nice round trip on my own with two bus services covering the same ground ,one clockwise the other anti clockwise ,get on and off as needs be!
He needs to get out too though, hours in front if three computers in a warm room ,they give off some heat and neighbour’s chimney heats one wall as she has her gas fire on all day.
No idea what his plans are ,work will dictate ,he can do it all from home but really needs four computers , but it is lonely and soul destroying in one room to work and sleep.
He did enjoy being at my daughter’s ,with the little ones ,it is lovely but he is not the greatest mixer, does not do acquaintances and very selective re friends,can’t be false you see.
We will have to sort out what he has here and what must go to storage ,there is far too much in his room .
I really think as time goes by he ought to get a place of his own but will be lonely.
He and his brother who lives in Bolton get on quite well but that son has not been really well for ages ,no one gets to the bottom of his illness however he does brighten up when we call ,but he and his wife ,no children , are very insular ,silly really ,one or the other will be left one day and no friends to turn to.
Oh dear , such is life , I wish I could turn the clock back!
Flash Harry is in for another treat for his Birthday in May.
Son who is here saw a “ fishing magnet” a very strong magnet you cast in to water and haul in, often interesting things are attached to it .
A parental control activity obviously .
I would like one of those for my Birthday!
Well just waiting for son’s signal to go then it will be hurry hurry hurry ,oh I wish I was going alone , but the change will be good for us both.
I might return with size 5/6 kippers and some Lock Fyne slippers!
I want to be alone !
Viktoria.
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Well back from the hospital ,seemingly I have made Mr.Agrawal’s day ( ,The Consultant ) everything fine with my eyes ,pressure,healing and no infection.
A slight reduction from ten to six times a day the main drops ,and another check up soon .
So that is good.
A long delay but it is worth it and everyone is so pleasant.
Must let family know although they usually phone to see how things are .
A lovely ride over the hills from Ramsbottom to Rochdale ,the moors so green and soon the lambs will be there .
Hope everyone is alright.
We do think about each other don’t we.
Well son has just made a cuppa,so then it will be time to think about tea.,theses mealtimes do come around don’t they!
Cheerio, just thought I’d let you know as everyone has been so kind .
Viktoria.
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That's great news Viktoria, very pleased for you. :)
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Very pleased to hear your news Viktoria.
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Good news viktoria.
Still impatiently waiting for people to get back to me here.
Nothing exciting here. Been to the tip, just my own stuff though, still storing all his stuff.
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Good news Viktoria
You didn't say if your son had rushed you in the end .
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That is good news Viktoria that the Consultant has confirmed that things are going really well and your drops can be reduced. Thank you for keeping us updated.
And another check up soon .. it sounds like they are taking good care of you. :)
It is blowing a gale outside; I was blown down the street on way home from work tonight. It feels very cosy now being inside and listening to it blowing on the outside.
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So pleased to hear that you are doing well Viktoria.
Pharma, it’s good to do a bit of clearing out isn’t it? But. Why do you still have his stuff? When can you take it to the tip? :-\
Seems ridiculous that his junk is still in your house taking up your space and being a constant reminder. None of it can be too vital if he hasn’t had the need to use it for years.
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Thanks again folks,I have just lost a very long post,can’t find it anywhere!
Too late to start again but just to say thanks for your kind recognition of my good news which I sent as you have all been so kind,.
Off to bo bo’s now, that is nicer than sleep you know !
No real after symptoms after Covid ,just a dry cough and tiredness ,so not much really.
Goodnight everyone .Viktoria.
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So pleased Viktoria that things are looking up for you, I felt quite lazy after covid but I kept being told to ŕest, easier said than done but I managed it, you will get there Viktoria
LM
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So pleased to hear that you are doing well Viktoria.
Pharma, it’s good to do a bit of clearing out isn’t it? But. Why do you still have his stuff? When can you take it to the tip? :-\
Seems ridiculous that his junk is still in your house taking up your space and being a constant reminder. None of it can be too vital if he hasn’t had the need to use it for years.
I can only take it to the tip if he gives permission or doesn't mention it for 2 years. All he has to do is say he wants it once every year to 2 years then do nothing about it. You would think having taking nothing to do with it for 4 years 10mon and 21 days would mean that it was considered proof he neither wanted nor needed it but that's not how the law works.
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So good to hear Viktoria that your eye appointment was successful and you made your consultants day… reducing drops I’m sure must be a relief for you.
Hope you continue to improve from your bout of covid.
PT - my heart goes out to you with the situation you’re dealing with! I know Scottish law is different but I’m flabbergasted with some of the things you tell us… I hope it can sorted out for you.
I’ll bet your daughter is looking fwd to her university days.. a great credit to you too for all the support you’ve given her to get her to this landmark time in her life.
Today is a sunny one, so far, but the wind in the night was strong I could hear it whirling around the house… tomorrow looks like being a very wet one so probably not going anywhere!
Take care all
Caroline
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Could anyone actually sleep in all the wind and rain the last couple of days? I feel zomboid today!
Pharma, I'm sure many of us are hoping 2023 will be kinder to you than the last year or so. Best wishes. Viktoria, brilliant news on eyedrops dribbling away!
TY
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PT, I cannot think how your ex can get away with what he is doing to you, he at least ought to be paying storage fees. Your children are a credit to you
Beautiful sunny day here but very windy, good washing day when I get it out
LM
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I am going to kill that flipping woman who pops out of the little house on the wall!
Got a load of white washing in to dance on the line ,then a big cloud and it is chucking it down , son said forecast was 27mm so more than an inch of rain today!
Oh wet washing on the maiden in the kitchen again. I don’t use the drying facility ,takes hours and so creased.
Such is life, I have a washer and a maiden what more could a girl want ,that would be luxury in other places and for other people.
Thanks again for your kindness.
Well done to Pharma’s daughter.
See what a good mother can do !
Not discounting the young lady’s own efforts and achievements though.
Sooo, piles of clothes, sorted in colours or temperature in the utility room .
I will get through it one day!
I find if I don’t set ridiculous unachievable aims I still do a good amount and am not left feeling inadequate.
Hope all are well, some were not before Christmas and there were some serious conditions.
I hope you are better,do let us know -if you feel O.K with that ,- we can only be supportive but a listening ear ie iPad or computer is a safety valve ,and we all need those don’t we.
It does not depress me, in fact I count my blessings more!
( I think my wings have got fleas!)
Well must get on going round in circles -!
I will get somewhere or other even if only to the foot if our stairs!
Cheerio.
Viktoria.
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So pleased to hear that you are doing well Viktoria.
Pharma, it’s good to do a bit of clearing out isn’t it? But. Why do you still have his stuff? When can you take it to the tip? :-\
Seems ridiculous that his junk is still in your house taking up your space and being a constant reminder. None of it can be too vital if he hasn’t had the need to use it for years.
I can only take it to the tip if he gives permission or doesn't mention it for 2 years. All he has to do is say he wants it once every year to 2 years then do nothing about it. You would think having taking nothing to do with it for 4 years 10mon and 21 days would mean that it was considered proof he neither wanted nor needed it but that's not how the law works.
That is completely bonkers Pharma. What is the logic behind that?
Does he have any friends you can dump it all on, or who can collect it and take it to him?
Unless it is itemised can’t you at least slowly and slyly dispose of some of it? After so long he surely can’t remember every single item he left? ;D
Having said that I understand that you need to follow whatever rules are in place no matter how stupid they are.
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The logic is that he cannot have his rights stepped on. He is deliberately not doing anything about collecting it to extend control. Also means he can accuse me of hoarding and be sure there is some 'evidence' of it
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I understand the control aspect of it, - and his junk in your house is a constant reminder of him.
But. It doesn’t make sense that he or anyone else could anyone accuse you of hoarding - if it’s his stuff?
I hope it gets sorted soon, and you can dump the lot. That will feel soooo goooood. ;D
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I understand the control aspect of it, - and his junk in your house is a constant reminder of him.
But. It doesn’t make sense that he or anyone else could anyone accuse you of hoarding - if it’s his stuff?
I hope it gets sorted soon, and you can dump the lot. That will feel soooo goooood. ;D
The truth doesn't matter, it's again all about control. He'll make complaints about the state of the house, that he has not seen for years. He just hopes he gets caught wanting.
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Whoever he is complaining to must realise that he hasn’t seen the house for years so he won’t have a clue what it’s like, and therefore he is wasting their time and (someone’s) money.
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Whoever he is complaining to must realise that he hasn’t seen the house for years so he won’t have a clue what it’s like, and therefore he is wasting their time and (someone’s) money.
Public money as Social services have to investigate every report.
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Can't imagine how much money and time it is all wasting, unbelievable to be quite honest if you think it could all have been sorted some years ago instead he puts you and your girls through it every time.
LM
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It is amazing how stupid The Law can be !
We law abiding citizens have to think twice before we can defend ourselves and our property.!
If I had a burglar alarm that bonked intruders on the head no doubt I would be had up for assault!
Posted Flash Harry’s scarf today —— it weighed as much as a couple of feathers but £7-99 !!!
A pack of three little pots of no drain tuna £5, a short time ago four pots were £4!
A small loaf now 99p ,a week or so back they were 85p.
Apples now sold singly at about 85-99 pence each .
Seems only yesterday they were that a kilo !
I really don’t know how young families manage.
Spoke with sister in law today ,I must invite her and her daughter up .
We always got on and she was my bridesmaid ,the other was a friend from college but she was stranded in IOM— no sailings due to bad weather !
Well time for a cuppa , then bed I think .
I am tired but it will be Covid after effects most probably ,so nothing special.
Cheerio. Look after yourselves , and I hope you are all warm and cosy .
Viktoria.
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Sleep tight Viktoria
LM
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Spoke with sister in law today ,I must invite her and her daughter up .
We always got on and she was my bridesmaid ,the other was a friend from college but she was stranded in IOM— no sailings due to bad weather !
There are worse places to be stranded!
KG (Douglas, IoM)
P.S. No sailings means no supplies to supermarkets & no newspapers!
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I'm continuing to feel relaxed especially as doc said my blood and urine tests were better than " satisfactory" which I'd been told on phone .
I have to avoid anxiety !
Spasms still haven't been explained but as long as I stay hydrated, get plenty of salt + eat often :I can avoid the fainting spells which have been present all my life ( usually at sight of blood or medical things. )
There are enough warning signs for me to sit on floor before I faint ...can be embarrassing but better than falling + risking hitting head .
I am very grateful that someone invented sunflower lanyards that staff in most supermarkets and bus /train stations recognise as belonging to someone with hidden disabilities .
So I'm starting to go out on my own again & reclaiming a social life .
My services as multi lingual storyteller have been requested at a lovely arts cafe where young people with communication differences learn new skills or have outlets for their current skills .
Will do a trial before comedy workshop next Friday..
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Pharma I wonder if you have had good legal advice .I know that you lead a busy life ...and can't afford top notch lawyers but there is help out there .
Where are you based and which organisations have you tried already .? Maybe we can come up with other sources .
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Brigidmac, gosh you are doing well and a lot to do with your resolution to keep going .
Nice to hear when someone who has felt they can “ off load” a bit to us can give good news,it is what we have wished foryou,thankyou.
I feel sure I speak for us all.
Scottish Law is often more sensible than English law but as Dickens had a character say” The Law is a ass” open to correction re spelling etc.
A householder who set up a series of booby traps after repeatedly being burgled was charged when yet another burglar got injured,!!!!
Hope all are well, a very dark rainy morning ,I must nip iinto Rammy , forgot tomatoes and Yorkshire puds, I am not the best at those and Auntie Bessies’ are so good.
Cheerio.Viktoria.
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Thanks Viktoria you are the epitome of looking on the bright side and often give us a laugh with your own misadventures and plans
Enjoy your Yorkshires
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Pharma I wonder if you have had good legal advice .I know that you lead a busy life ...and can't afford top notch lawyers but there is help out there .
Where are you based and which organisations have you tried already .? Maybe we can come up with other sources .
I've tried multiple local solicitors, Scottish Woman's Rights Centre, family law centre, legal advice via my union. They all say they can't help, that my case is too complicated. The outcomes and unfair judgements are not unique to my case. If you look at Custodypeace and thecourtsaid on twitter they share many examples of what happens in family court. It is illegal to report on faily court, so you won't get news stories like you do from the criminal court. This means that people don't get to hear how it works unless they or someone close to them are involved.
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Pharma, on reading Brigidmac’s reply to my post I could see that when I said Scottish Law is often more sensible than English Law it could be misunderstood that I felt in your case the Law was right,far from it ,it is obviously a minefield andI did not mean to infer anything against you.
Keep in contact ,we do “ listen” can’t help really but wish you a good outcome and soon!
Best regards.
Viktoria.
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As others have said, we're all here "On your side..." May not be much, but we're there.
TY
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I second that, we are here as a support to anyone .
Surely courts are there to help however complicated a case is, that is what they get paid for
LM
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I second that, we are here as a support to anyone .
Surely courts are there to help however complicated a case is, that is what they get paid for
LM
They are there to uphold abuser's rights. They never help, only punish. The letter I got from the court at the very beginning made it clear that the only way to avoid an adverse outcome was to concede to all demands but I know that he would just ask for more and more.
Feeling upset and angry today. Yesterday my daughter got another offer yesterday but it was a conditional. Please don't get me wrong it is not that it is a conditional but what the condition is. Because of her postcode the condition is that she attend summer school otherwise they think that she wouldn't handle uni. I have looked it up and the summer school is advertised as for students meeting a list of disadvantages who narrowly missed the entry requirements to help them make up credits. There are two entry requirements the preferred and the slightly lower minimum, my daughter met the preferred grades so does not need extra credits. Since she stayed at school, if they wanted to put in a condition they could have asked for a particular grade in one or more of the subjects that she is doing this year. That seems fairer as would then be based on her personal work and achievements rather than placing an extra barrier in her way (that will have costs attached) based on my failure at life.
To make matters worse the media here is full of articles saying that Edinburgh uni is making offers to poorer students, who don't deserve it at the expense of more deserving students from better backgrounds because they have "gone all woke". That has infuriated me. She earned those grades with her own intelligence and hard work and she did this while being dragged through court. AFAIC she earned and deserves her place at least as much as any student out there. I fully accept that I am a failure, that people view me as sub-human scum, the sign of all that is wrong with this world. But why do my children have to penalised and written off because of it, it shouldn't wipe out their genuine achievements. She studied the same courses and sat the same exams as the children of proper parents so her grades should be judged on the same level.
Her Dad's family want her to accept the conditional offer as they see it as such a good university. I don't want her to as I think the nature of the condition indicates that it would not be a supportive learning environment and may be actively nasty, make her feel like she doesn't belong. That is not conduisive to her best university experience. I'd rather she go where she is wanted, excel and show the b****ds
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Sorry not to be supportive here Pharma but I have read enough of your posts to know that mostly they consist of your moaning and putting yourself down.
I wonder if your attitude comes across in your childrens' attitudes when they interact with outsiders - university interviews etc and this is why such bodies consider that maybe there will be a problem once they start college. It is not easy to get through college without some mental anxiety or other and perhaps they are trying to forestall this by suggesting summer school. I just wonder why you think it is all about you?
Pheno
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Sorry not to be supportive here Pharma but I have read enough of your posts to know that mostly they consist of your moaning and putting yourself down.
I wonder if your attitude comes across in your childrens' attitudes when they interact with outsiders - university interviews etc and this is why such bodies consider that maybe there will be a problem once they start college. It is not easy to get through college without some mental anxiety or other and perhaps they are trying to forestall this by suggesting summer school. I just wonder why you think it is all about you?
Pheno
Thank you for reminding me what scum I am. She didn't have an interview so they cannot have picked up on any signals from meeting her. I do not think it is all about me. I think she should be judged on her own achievements rather than where I can afford for us to live. They have stated that it is because of her postcode and 3 of her friends in similar postcode areas have had the same response telling me it is about the postcode rather than an individual factor.
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well said!
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PT
YOU ARE NOT SCUM
As I see it you are doing your best for your girl's and don't think otherwise.
None of us can put ourselves in anyone else's shoes and hasn't the right to criticise you, you are doing your best
LM.
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PharmaT
You really must stop doing yourself down, you are neither scum, a bad persons nor a bad mother.
You come across as a very capable mother who is making a great success of bringing up your girls in very difficult circumstances. It is not easy for anyone to hold down a job and bring up a family on one’s own, even when they have supportive family or friends.
Instead of constantly belittling yourself, You should hold your head up high and be very proud of yourself. You should keep repeating the following mantra, ‘I am a good person and a good mother, as good as the next person and better than many.’ If you say it often enough you should start to believe in yourself more.
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Quite right Jebber
. LM
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Thank you for reminding me what scum I am. She didn't have an interview so they cannot have picked up on any signals from meeting her. I do not think it is all about me. I think she should be judged on her own achievements rather than where I can afford for us to live. They have stated that it is because of her postcode and 3 of her friends in similar postcode areas have had the same response telling me it is about the postcode rather than an individual factor.
Don't think I mentioned the 's' word that you are so fond of.
However, I am fed up with reading your constant opinion of yourself, and then everybody's immediate denials and I can't but think it has rubbed off onto your girls. Even if it is all to do with postcode areas, and I don't doubt that, your daughters can't fail to pick up on your attitude - and it may stick with them for life. However much you are damaging yourself, you may be damaging them too. Isn't there some counselling you could seek?
Pheno
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It's not compulsory to read my posts HTH.
I do find though that an overabundance of self-confidence can make it difficult for people to consider alternative explanations for things such as people finding an outlet for their frustrations to make it easier to hide how they're feeling from loved ones such as their children. Or perhaps any negative views they may have have been shaped and reinforced by those who cannot help but tell them what they think of them.
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HTH?
No but I like to read the diary thread and might contribute if I thought it was simply a diary, like most other user posts are.
Pheno
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Pheno
I think you will find the postcode comes into various things, I have known or heard of people who actually rent a property, get the child into the school of their choosing only to move back to their own home and the child stays in the school and the parents have got away with it
PT's daughter has done very well in her education despite everything else in her life
LM
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And its not compulsory to read every single post ,you can always scroll past.
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I said I didn't doubt the postcode lottery.
Have you tried scrolling past Jed? For I don't know how long there have been these rants on this diary thread, with everybody else simply denying the accusations.
Since Covid there almost wouldn't be a diary thread anymore. I wonder how many users who used to post are fed up with it - and the reason they very rarely post now?
My main view is that it is not doing anybody any good - neither the poster nor those who read.
Pheno
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As far as I am concerned this is a weekly diary, anyone can post on it with whatever subject they like as far as I understand, we all have to be understanding of others postings, we often bolster others up if need be, have been known to skip posts myself, we have a choice , if I don't like the tone I whizz past, no-one knows , it doesn't matter.
The diary helped a lot of people during Covid, no doubt people don't need it anymore or have returned to work with less time to use the diary, it has helped a lot of Rootschatters
LM
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But the question is - do you think the constant refrain of 'oh you are not that' or 'you are doing a good job' etc is of any use - attitudes don't seem to have changed. If none of us is really qualified to deal with this kind of situation, and I am definitely not, might it not be doing more harm than good? I certainly don't see any good happening as there don't appear to be any changes.
Wouldn't it be better to suggest professional help?
I really don't know how anyone functions at all with the enormity of such a burden on their shoulders.
Pheno
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I read the diary thread most days and agree with LM.
I don't think that any of us have the right to criticise what others have written, if we don't like what we are reading then don't come on to the board.
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I read the diary thread most days and agree with LM.
I don't think that any of us have the right to criticise what others have written, if we don't like what we are reading then don't come on to the board.
I have just as much right to come on the board as anybody else.
I am concerned about the effects on the children.
Pheno
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I believe the children are fine in PT ' s company, if the older one in particular wasn't do you think she would have done so well In her exams with straight A's plus other things she has achieved and she is still a youngster
Don't lets be so hard on PT, she needs our board,
LM
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Do you not wonder if that is so she can get away LM?
I just feel that Pharma is thriving on all these comments where everyone agrees with her and pussyfoots around instead of a kick up the pants!
Well what do I know?
Pheno
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Precisely!
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Oh so you are all competent qualified psychologists/psychiatrists now are you?
Pheno
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I am not prepared to get into a slanging match with anyone, I would like to think I am kind and compassionate, as far as I am concerned that is the end of the conversation as far as I am concerned
LM
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Pheno I think your comments are way off line…
we can only be supportive to someone who is clearly having a great deal of stress in her life and maybe writing on here is helpful and our comments are welcome.. whereas yours are clearly highly critical and inflammatory..
As others have said just skip them if you don’t want to read them or write something complimentary or amusing!
The only time I see you on here is to criticise… not much of what you write is kind!
If I get banned from here it’ll be worth it as you’ve really got my hackles up… like others during covid I wrote constantly and like others I found it a great place to come… it’s still the same although now weekly and I don’t write as often but always read the diary.
What’s your problem!
Caroline
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Exactly Cawl
LM
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I haven't got a problem, wheras Pharma clearly has. I really wonder whether all the mollycoddling and pussyfooting, otherwise labelled kindness, is actually doing any good whatsoever. Just trying a different tactic.
I believe if this was someobody with whom you had physical contact you would urge them to seek help rather than just seeming to offer platitudes.
Pheno
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So sad to see negative + personal comments on what is usually a positive topic board ..
Personally I don't see the advantage of copying a whole post before answering it . especially if it is to disagree .
I suppose some comments could be addressed between the people concerned and don't have to be said in front of everyone.
Hopefully we can start next week on a better footing .
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Copying a post or actually quoting it Brigid is ensuring that readers know which post you are replying to - that might become unclear if the reply is several posts below the one to which you are replying.
Pheno
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I will risk upsetting people here by locking this thread. It does not seem to represent kindness and tolerance of others' view points. In this world, we all know that that there is a wide range of thoughts and opinions. It would be a miracle if we could all agree all of the time. When we don't, it doesn't mean we should be uncharitable towards those expressing those views.
I will admit I have not read it all and I do not generally read the 'Diary' threads so I may fall into the trap of judging the situation based on the last few posts.
However, I think that it is about time for us all to remember what this board was created for:
This is a board for discussing the current situation that this world faces. Please consult medical advice relevant to your own country. Remember: Stay at home. Keep social distancing. Wash your hands with soap and hot water for 20 seconds.
The latest posts seems to be far removed from the remit.
Please feel free to start another Diary thread for next week - on Monday.
But in the meantime, take the space and time until then to enjoy a Sunday in a calm and pleasant way - the weather forecast for my neck of the woods says it is not due to rain, for a change. Keeping my fingers crossed.
Nell