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General => The Common Room => The Lighter Side => Topic started by: Fisherman on Monday 07 August 23 20:29 BST (UK)

Title: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Fisherman on Monday 07 August 23 20:29 BST (UK)
Just been checking my relationship to others in my tree and discovered that I am a nibling. great nibling, g/great nibling and so on.
On checking I find that nibling is a gender neutral term for niece/nephew.  ::) ::)

Fisherman
(or should that now be Fisherperson)  ;D ;D


Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Girl Guide on Monday 07 August 23 21:22 BST (UK)
I think some of this gender neutral stuff is going a bit too far.  Are they trying to make us non-persons?

Just browsing Google and I see that there is now a Joyfriend!

Below from Google:-

The term was created as a gender-neutral way to describe a non-binary significant other, replacing the “girl” in "girlfriend" and the “boy” in "boyfriend" with the word "joy." Other terms that have similar meaning are enbyfriend, theyfriend, datemate, partner, and significant other.

What on earth is an enbyfriend???  ???
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Rena on Monday 07 August 23 21:42 BST (UK)
If I find that a website had messed around like that with my tree, I shall remove it.

There has always been three genders, = male female and neutral  "it".   I refuse to be an "it"
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Chris Doran on Tuesday 08 August 23 08:19 BST (UK)
I have been bemused of late of seeing men described as widows rather than widowers. Is it just ignorance or an "official" merge, like actresses now being actors?
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Stanwix England on Tuesday 08 August 23 09:38 BST (UK)
What on earth is an enbyfriend???  ???

Enbyfriend is another way of saying Non Binary partner. Enby being like 'NB' which is shorthand for Non Binary.

I quite like 'Niblings' for nieces and nephews, as it's a lot quicker to say. A bit like 'siblings' instead of brothers and sisters.
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Girl Guide on Tuesday 08 August 23 09:43 BST (UK)
Thank you Stanwix.  Call me old fashioned but I would prefer it if they stuck to clear names as opposed to these 'could be anything' names.

At the rate this is going we could all be nothings.  :(
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Mike in Cumbria on Tuesday 08 August 23 10:34 BST (UK)
Nibling was coined in the 1950s, and is nothing to do with gender awareness. It strikes me as a pretty useful word, much like sibling or cousin.
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Ray T on Tuesday 08 August 23 11:43 BST (UK)
If FindMyPast are happy to call things what they want, presumable we can call them what we want?
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Crumblie on Tuesday 08 August 23 11:59 BST (UK)
Are we still allowed to use NB for nota bene though? I apologize if anyone/person is offended or threatened by the use of a question mark and a full stop.
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Nanna52 on Tuesday 08 August 23 13:02 BST (UK)
I’m just confused.  About 18 months ago one of my grandchildren no longer recognised as the sex assigned to them at birth.  So all of a sudden I had a grandson.  It is the least of my worries if he now recognises as male as he is still my flesh and blood.  What throws me though is people referring to him as they and them.  It is so ingrained in me that I cannot accept plural for one person in my mind and keep looking for the extra person. 
As for a nibbling I’m only a half, my father had a different father, so am I a nib or a ling?
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Kiltpin on Friday 11 August 23 14:27 BST (UK)
I went to the bank some while ago to sort out my mother's finances. I was ushered into a side room and a young woman came in a and greeted me with I am Anne Jones and my pronouns are X, Y and Z, what are yours? I told her my name and that my pronouns were "Standard British for an adult male". She took offence at this and told me in no uncertain terms how insensitive I was being. 

When I got a chance, I said (as best I can remember) "I am speaking to YOU. YOU are speaking to ME. WE are conversing, together. I will continue speaking to YOU and YOU will continue speaking to ME until such time as MY business is concluded. WE are speaking to each other in the first person and not in the third person, so why do I have any need to know YOUR pronouns?" " I would only need to know YOUR pronouns if I was going to talk about YOU behind YOUR back, do YOU think that I am going to do that?" 

I could see that she was trying to work it out. After a while, she said, "How can I help you today, Mr Kiltpin?" 

Regards 

Chas
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Girl Guide on Friday 11 August 23 14:37 BST (UK)
That's the way to go!  Tie their brains up in knots.  ;D  Was she by any chance young, as in under 30?

This pronoun business is getting totally out of hand.  ::)
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Kiltpin on Friday 11 August 23 14:53 BST (UK)
That's the way to go!  Tie their brains up in knots.  ;D  Was she by any chance young, as in under 30?

This pronoun business is getting totally out of hand.  ::)
 

Over 20, under 25. 

The thing that gets me is that, you can mispronounce their name - really mangle it up. And they just correct you and life goes on. But get a pronoun wrong, and they instantly become a heaving, steaming, incandescent ball of self-righteous indignation! 

Regards 

Chas
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Ray T on Friday 11 August 23 15:21 BST (UK)
Nice one Kiltpin. I would probably have just asked her to bring me an adult. Then again, I’ve only been known to be politically correct when I’m being paid to do so. I don’t actually recall giving the slightest thought to pronouns since I passed my O level English back in the 1960s.
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Treetotal on Friday 11 August 23 15:46 BST (UK)
Thank you Stanwix.  Call me old fashioned but I would prefer it if they stuck to clear names as opposed to these 'could be anything' names.

At the rate this is going we could all be nothings.  :(

I'm with you...or should that be "I agree with you" as I am not in your presence!!
Dear me, we will all be communicating using symbols at this rate!!
Carol
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Milliepede on Friday 11 August 23 15:52 BST (UK)
Quote
I would probably have just asked her to bring me an adult.

Love that  ;D
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Erato on Friday 11 August 23 17:02 BST (UK)
"I cannot accept plural for one person"

How do feel about the "royal we" or the use of plurals for at-a-stretch collective nouns (the government are; Harvard crush Yale in the ninth inning)?
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Ray T on Friday 11 August 23 17:25 BST (UK)
Don’t do the royal “we”. I don’t believe that “the government” is actually a collective noun in the “parliament of crows”, “business of ferrets” sense. Unlike the BBC and other parts of the press, I’m firmly of the singular/plural calling; i.e. the government is, politicians are, calling. Using such terms as  “the team are” rather than “the team is” simply sounds wrong to me.
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Mike in Cumbria on Friday 11 August 23 17:37 BST (UK)
But get a pronoun wrong, and they instantly become a heaving, steaming, incandescent ball of self-righteous indignation! 

I think this is something that happens in theory, on the internet, rather than actually happening in real life. How many people here have actually come across this "heaving, steaming, incandescent ball of self-righteous indignation".
Most people, whether straight, gay, bi, trans or non-binary just get on with their lives.
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: DiGi on Tuesday 05 December 23 13:23 GMT (UK)
I'm happy to be an "it" but my preferred pronouns are "idgat" and "idgaf".  Itgat is "I don't give a toss" and idgaf is ... something similar.
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Jebber on Tuesday 05 December 23 16:01 GMT (UK)
I think the world is going mad with all these different pronouns. When I am confronted with a form with boxes asking such questions it really annoys me. I have been known to write something silly, such as, I have no idea, you tell me or Earthling or Martian. They can make of that what they like.:P :P :P
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Rena on Tuesday 05 December 23 20:50 GMT (UK)
I think the world is going mad with all these different pronouns. When I am confronted with a form with boxes asking such questions it really annoys me. I have been known to write something silly, such as, I have no idea, you tell me or Earthling or Martian. They can make of that what they like.:P :P :P

At the start of this century my youngest son had finished his uni. course and was looking around for a job.   He applied for one position and found he had to download, fill in and send via snail mail,  a seventeen page questionnaire,  which included such questions as "are you a lesbian/homosexual"  and are you "British Caribbean, British Asian, etc., etc., etc.   
Knowing that the then government were keen to even up the  male/female roles in commerce I suspected that white males would probably be at the tail end of any offers of a job. 
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Wexflyer on Thursday 07 December 23 05:47 GMT (UK)
I think the world is going mad with all these different pronouns. When I am confronted with a form with boxes asking such questions it really annoys me. I have been known to write something silly, such as, I have no idea, you tell me or Earthling or Martian. They can make of that what they like.:P :P :P

At the start of this century my youngest son had finished his uni. course and was looking around for a job.   He applied for one position and found he had to download, fill in and send via snail mail,  a seventeen page questionnaire,  which included such questions as "are you a lesbian/homosexual"  and are you "British Caribbean, British Asian, etc., etc., etc.   
Knowing that the then government were keen to even up the  male/female roles in commerce I suspected that white males would probably be at the tail end of any offers of a job.

The way to deal with this is to always tick "Other", and then enter "American", or "depends on the day"
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: martin hooper on Thursday 07 December 23 12:17 GMT (UK)
I was brought up on Fowlers Modern English Usage. Every single day I read and hear examples of poor use of English. Mainly from politicians, journalists, and so called celebrities. Most of whom I've never heard of.

I don't agree with the point of view that if you managed to convey the message that you intended, then it doesn't matter what words you chose.


Martin
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Mike in Cumbria on Thursday 07 December 23 19:31 GMT (UK)


At the start of this century my youngest son had finished his uni. course and was looking around for a job.   He applied for one position and found he had to download, fill in and send via snail mail,  a seventeen page questionnaire,  which included such questions as "are you a lesbian/homosexual"  and are you "British Caribbean, British Asian, etc., etc., etc.   
Knowing that the then government were keen to even up the  male/female roles in commerce I suspected that white males would probably be at the tail end of any offers of a job.

The sections on gender, ethnicity etc are separated from the application form and used by HR for statistical purposes. That way, they can check on whether the institution is showing (intentional or unintentional) bias in favour of, or against certain groups. I can't see that as a negative.
Rest assured that, as a white male, your son is not in a group that has any fear of under-representation or discrimination.
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Erato on Thursday 07 December 23 19:42 GMT (UK)
It's amazing how alert to 'discrimination' white, Christian males have become.  As long as they got an automatic ten bonus points for their race, ten for their sex and ten for their religion they were satisfied that the playing field was fair and level.  But it's only five bonus points now and they feel aggrieved.
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Rena on Friday 08 December 23 16:34 GMT (UK)


At the start of this century my youngest son had finished his uni. course and was looking around for a job.   He applied for one position and found he had to download, fill in and send via snail mail,  a seventeen page questionnaire,  which included such questions as "are you a lesbian/homosexual"  and are you "British Caribbean, British Asian, etc., etc., etc.   
Knowing that the then government were keen to even up the  male/female roles in commerce I suspected that white males would probably be at the tail end of any offers of a job.

The sections on gender, ethnicity etc are separated from the application form and used by HR for statistical purposes. That way, they can check on whether the institution is showing (intentional or unintentional) bias in favour of, or against certain groups. I can't see that as a negative.
Rest assured that, as a white male, your son is not in a group that has any fear of under-representation or discrimination.

If I told you that the first part of the advert instructed applicants not to send details of their education, what would you say?   I thought it strange and I guessed that the authority were going through the motions of advertising the posts, when in fact, they already had one of their current employees lined up for the position.

This was the era when employers had to publicise all vacancies to the outside world.   Up to that point employees of large companies knew when their employers were taking on new employees , thus the applicants would be offspring or other kith and kin to an existing employee.
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Rena on Friday 08 December 23 16:52 GMT (UK)
It's amazing how alert to 'discrimination' white, Christian males have become.  As long as they got an automatic ten bonus points for their race, ten for their sex and ten for their religion they were satisfied that the playing field was fair and level.  But it's only five bonus points now and they feel aggrieved.

I watch the TV documentary programmes showing immigration controls of a few countries.   

I don't have a male brain, thus don't know what they think.  Having seen images of a male and a female brain, I think females can be far more devious- and judging from the late night scenes of drunken lewdness performed by females they couldn't care less what males do.

I once asked my father why my mother didn't go out and work.  He was quite passionate in his response that he didn't want anyone to think that he could not look after his family.

Now that females have declared they're equal to men, many parents are now raising children that know no boundaries and think whatever anyone else has, they want it no matter what it takes to get it.
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Shropshire Lass on Friday 08 December 23 17:16 GMT (UK)
I’m just confused.  About 18 months ago one of my grandchildren no longer recognised as the sex assigned to them at birth.  So all of a sudden I had a grandson.  It is the least of my worries if he now recognises as male as he is still my flesh and blood.  What throws me though is people referring to him as they and them.  It is so ingrained in me that I cannot accept plural for one person in my mind and keep looking for the extra person. 
As for a nibbling I’m only a half, my father had a different father, so am I a nib or a ling?

It isn't easy to remember at first but it will become automatic with time. 

They and them have always been used as singular in English when we don't know the gender - "Someone has left their coat; I hope they come back for it" - "We've got a new neighbour but I haven't met them yet".

I've used niblings for years - much easier than saying 'nephews and nieces' every time.

Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Erato on Friday 08 December 23 17:23 GMT (UK)
"Having seen images of a male and a female brain, I think females can be far more devious"

Really?  I was unaware of that physical difference.  The brain's deviousness structure must be a recent discovery.  Granted, it's been a lot of years since I took comparative anatomy, and I never did take a phrenology course.
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Mike in Cumbria on Friday 08 December 23 17:32 GMT (UK)
"Having seen images of a male and a female brain, I think females can be far more devious"

Really?  I was unaware of that physical difference.
Apart from one being pink and one being blue, you mean?
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Mike in Cumbria on Friday 08 December 23 17:37 GMT (UK)
Now that females have declared they're equal to men.....
How dare they?
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Jebber on Friday 08 December 23 17:51 GMT (UK)
Now that females have declared they're equal to men.....
How dare they?

You mean females are superior. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Erato on Friday 08 December 23 19:10 GMT (UK)
"he didn't want anyone to think that he could not look after his family"

Interesting.  Despite any career interests she might have had, she had to stay home to boost his ego.
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Treetotal on Friday 08 December 23 22:22 GMT (UK)
Now that females have declared they're equal to men.....
How dare they?

Exactly......any woman who wishes to be equal to men has no ambition!
Carol
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Rena on Saturday 09 December 23 15:29 GMT (UK)
"Having seen images of a male and a female brain, I think females can be far more devious"

Really?  I was unaware of that physical difference.  The brain's deviousness structure must be a recent discovery.  Granted, it's been a lot of years since I took comparative anatomy, and I never did take a phrenology course.

We're never too old to learn.   

I can't find the images that I viewed years ago, but I see that the Telegraph newspaper has printed images of the male brain which shows communication travels from front to back and back to front. 

Underneath is and image of the female brain, which shows most thoughts travel from one side of the brain to the other side of the brain.

I'm left handed and my train of thoughts often differ from my counterparts - I'm not bothered about the whys and wherefors - yet. :-p)

Oops - I forgot to include the url:-

url link

http://www.rootschat.com/links/01su1/

For some reason this link isn't showing the page I looked at, but it does show a few illustrations of male/female brains.  Click on the Telegraph images to be taken to the explanation.
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Treetotal on Saturday 09 December 23 15:44 GMT (UK)
I am left-Handed too but there are so many myths about it, I always believed that Left-Handers were right brain dominant but that has been debated over many years. Ideas and theories change over time.
There is still so much that we don't know about the mechanics of the brain.
Carol
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: BumbleB on Saturday 09 December 23 16:29 GMT (UK)
Right vs left!  Let's just remember that only the BEST people are "cack/cody/coddy-handed"   :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*  :-X

Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Treetotal on Saturday 09 December 23 16:55 GMT (UK)
Well we "Lefties" have our own special day dedicated to Left Handers everywhere, that's  in August, Obviously started by a bonkers left hander.
Carol
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: BumbleB on Saturday 09 December 23 16:59 GMT (UK)
Oh, shame it isn't 1 August - then I could celebrate with my wedding anniversary, and Yorkshire Day  :-* 
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Erato on Saturday 09 December 23 18:11 GMT (UK)
"the Telegraph newspaper has printed images of the male brain which shows communication travels from front to back and back to front. Underneath is and image of the female brain, which shows most thoughts travel from one side of the brain to the other side of the brain."

There is no such thing as a 'male brain' or a 'female brain.'  No one can look at a disembodied human brain and tell what sex it is.  Sex differences in lateralization [the connectivity between the right and left sides] are so slight that some large studies find no statistically significant difference at all.  When all is said and done, the only consistent difference is that male brains are, on average, slightly larger [when controlled for body size].  Perhaps we could say that the female brain is more efficient - women can do more with less.

https://theconversation.com/you-dont-have-a-male-or-female-brain-the-more-brains-scientists-study-the-weaker-the-evidence-for-sex-differences-158005
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Rena on Saturday 09 December 23 18:14 GMT (UK)
"he didn't want anyone to think that he could not look after his family"

Interesting.  Despite any career interests she might have had, she had to stay home to boost his ego.

Erato my parents were born 1912-1918.   

Actually, my mother joined the local fire brigade as a volunteer, and I remember her using the bone handle of a knife with spit and polish, in order to "break in" the shoe leather lol.

Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Rena on Saturday 09 December 23 18:29 GMT (UK)
"the Telegraph newspaper has printed images of the male brain which shows communication travels from front to back and back to front. Underneath is and image of the female brain, which shows most thoughts travel from one side of the brain to the other side of the brain."

There is no such thing as a 'male brain' or a 'female brain.'  No one can look at a disembodied human brain and tell what sex it is.  Sex differences in lateralization [the connectivity between the right and left sides] are so slight that some large studies find no statistically significant difference at all.  When all is said and done, the only consistent difference is that male brains are, on average, slightly larger [when controlled for body size].  Perhaps we could say that the female brain is more efficient - women can do more with less.

https://theconversation.com/you-dont-have-a-male-or-female-brain-the-more-brains-scientists-study-the-weaker-the-evidence-for-sex-differences-158005

I haven't done any medical study but I did once see on TV the "Milgram Experiment".   My late OH was in the forces and he knew about the experiment too.

<The Milgram experiment was a famous and controversial study in psychology that examined people's willingness to obey authority. Participants in the study were instructed to administer electric shocks to a learner, even when that obedience caused harm to the learner.>



Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Mike in Cumbria on Saturday 09 December 23 20:04 GMT (UK)
Have a look at this review in "Nature" - probably the most respected scientific journal in the world.

https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-019-00677-x (https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-019-00677-x)

Neurosexism: the myth that men and women have different brains
"The hunt for male and female distinctions inside the skull is a lesson in bad research practice"
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Rena on Sunday 10 December 23 13:22 GMT (UK)
Have a look at this review in "Nature" - probably the most respected scientific journal in the world.

https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-019-00677-x (https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-019-00677-x)

Neurosexism: the myth that men and women have different brains
"The hunt for male and female distinctions inside the skull is a lesson in bad research practice"

I applaud your defence attempt   :D :D :D

However, according to the old men chatting in the local watering hole - they will never understand women  :D
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Biggles50 on Wednesday 13 December 23 22:24 GMT (UK)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XjUFYxSxDk

Male and female brains explained
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: Rena on Thursday 14 December 23 16:02 GMT (UK)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XjUFYxSxDk

Male and female brains explained
 

 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: FindMyPast has decided I'm a "Nibling" !!!
Post by: coombs on Saturday 16 December 23 18:47 GMT (UK)
In regards to nibling, a gender neutral term for niece/nephew, way back in the 1500s and 1600s and later, a "cousin" or "cosen" was also a nephew or niece as well as actual cousin. Many wills say things such as "I give an bequeath to my cosen John Smith of Shoreditch".