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Hello there,

Well, after what has been a long, frustrating, blind (at times) search for my biological grandmother and her family, I have finally found who I hope is my mother's living sister.

Bit of a back story: My mother was adopted back in the 1940s (long story..) and never knew her mother until her adopted mother passed away and her adopted father gave her some family history. The search to find her biological family began. This was some 25 years ago. Since then, and very sadly since the passing of my mother in 1999, I have been off and on researching, trying to piece together the puzzle for her sake. Going with my biological grandfather's details, I was eventually able to undertake detailed research and have just recently found that he had another daughter whose birth details have been confirmed and tally up with my bio grandmother's surname.  (By the way, both of my bio grandparents have passed.)

This find has been totally unexpected.  This missing piece of the jigsaw was put into place when I obtained a copy of my bio grandfather's death certificate - it was signed by his daughter (my 'aunt') and the rest of this puzzle has now unfolded.

Now.. what next? My mother's sister is still alive - she is around 65 and resides in Kent. How on earth would I go about contacting her? I understand this would be an extremely delicate matter, someone contacting you out of the blue announcing, oh I'm your long-lost niece! How does one write such a letter?

I'm not concerned about meeting her face to face (if it happens it's a bonus), I'm more eager to see  photographs of and hear about my grandmother - I feel that then I could be at peace knowing that I did this for my darling mother who always felt there was a piece of her life missing, and at times, was quite overcome with emotion at her sense of loss.

I have also found that she has a 20-odd year old daughter, who has the same middle name as my bio grandmother's first name (I thank the lord that my mother's side of the family has unusual names as it makes searching so much easier!) and her daughter has a Facebook account so I've actually now seen a couple of photographs of my 'aunt'.   My 'aunt' also has a Facebook account though not a great user, it does have a fairly recent entry.

Anyhow, so far I haven't contacted either.  I can't write as the last address I have is for my aunt's (now closed) business on company house and this is 2014, so too old to rely upon.  So it seems the only way is via Facebook but how do I write that initial contact? Should I just say something along the lines of, "Hi, my name's XXX and I've been researching the (surname) family history for over 20 years, I think I may be a (close) relative of yours on my mother's side.." -  how else can I phrase it - what other information should I include in this first contact?   I want to come across as genuine as possible however I don't want to go into a great amount of detail on FB, BUT I do want to give her something to ensure the genuineness and sincerity of my contact so that hopefully she'll respond! There are dubious characters out there on FB and I definitely don't wish to appear like one!   Help?!

(I've also drafted a letter and I have added the facts from my mother's birth certificate and stated that further research shows that my bio grandparents had another daughter... and that I think she may be my mother's sister.. Would it be best NOT to include the details about my mother? Should I also say INSTEAD, 'further research indicates that there MAY be some connection to you'? I just don't know how to say this, it's like walking on eggshells when inside I want to excitedly declare, 'You're my mother's long-lost sister!')

Any suggestions would be most appreciated and I thank you for reading this.