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This is quite a tangle.

In 1901, I have this family at 9 Queen Street, Sunderland

Thomas Moore (47, Male)  (died 1907)
Jane A Moore (40, Female)
Ethel M Moore (16, Female)
Raymond Moore (11, Male)
Sarah Jane Moore (9, Female)
Elizabeth (7, Female)
Albt E Moore (5, Male)
Ann Moore (4, Female)

I believe that Jane was formerly McGuffie (also McGuffy), she and Thomas had married in Pontefract in 1886.

The last 5 children above all have the mother's maiden name  as McGuffie/McGuffy on the GRO.

I cannot find a birth record for Ethel M(ary) Moore, b Castleford.  I can find a Tadcaster birth for a Edith Ellen Moore, mother's maiden name McGuffie.  Castleford-Tadcaster is about 15 miles.

In 1911 most of the family is at South Johnson Street, Sunderland.  Thomas had died.
Ethel is now Ethel Mary Button.  Two children are added, James Harold Button (my subject of interest) and Gladys Abigail Button, mother's maiden name  NEIL.  Ethel's husband, James Button is unaccounted for.

(In 1905 James BURTON (I believe it's an error) married an Ethel Mary Neil, to become Ethel Mary Button.)

I just can't see how Ethel M Moore 'became' Ethel Mary Neil, before becoming Ethel Mary Button.

I've been round and round this for days, and can't see an error in my research, but it clearly doesn't make sense, so I would be grateful for help.

Edit: There is a birth for 1885 NEIL    Ethel Mary        Pontefract  mother's maiden name  McGuffie.

Perhaps Ethel was adopted, (or fathered by Jane's previous paramour?) but was later told about it and she chose to marry under her birth name?

Mrs Zaph

I know these are known to be a bit vague, but I've just found a DNA match shown like this:

Joined
13 Jan 2023

Last active
3-11 Months ago

Obviously impossible!

Zaph

Through DNA I have made contact with a reasonably close member of the extended family. I will call that person Robin. Through no fault of Robin there is a lot of life stress.  Robin has explained to me how we are related but doesn't want to get further involved at the moment due to that existing stress, which could end soon or be prolonged. 

For many years I have worked closely with another family member on our combined ancestry. I feel deceitful not telling the other person what I have found from Robin but I do not think it is fair to Robin for me to tell part of the story to my colleague.  I can't really ask Robin if I can pass on what I know, due to the existing stress. Equally so I can't tell my colleague that I know something but can't expand on it.

Zaph

I was reading WikiTree and saw mention of yourdnaportal.

YourDNAportal is a website based in England that offers free DNA analysis and matching with relatives. They are not a testing company. Instead, you upload your raw data autosomal DNA test results from 23andMe, AncestryDNA, MyHeritageDNA, Family Tree DNA), etc.

Has anyone used it?  Any comments?  It sounds like another Gedmatch.

Zaph