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Messages - pharmaT

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1
The Stay Safe Board / Re: Diary summary week ending 15th January
« on: Saturday 14 January 23 17:54 GMT (UK)  »
It's not compulsory to read my posts HTH.

I do find though that an overabundance of self-confidence can make it difficult for people to consider alternative explanations for things such as people finding an outlet for their frustrations to make it easier to hide how they're feeling from loved ones such as their children.  Or perhaps any negative views they may have have been shaped and reinforced by those who cannot help but tell them what they think of them.

2
The Stay Safe Board / Re: Diary summary week ending 15th January
« on: Saturday 14 January 23 14:40 GMT (UK)  »
Sorry not to be supportive here Pharma but I have read enough of your posts to know that mostly they consist of your moaning and putting yourself down.

I wonder if your attitude comes across in your childrens' attitudes when they interact with outsiders - university interviews etc and this is why such bodies consider that maybe there will be a problem once they start college.  It is not easy to get through college without some mental anxiety or other and perhaps they are trying to forestall this by suggesting summer school.  I just wonder why you think it is all about you?

Pheno

Thank you for reminding me what scum I am.  She didn't have an interview so they cannot have picked up on any signals from meeting her.  I do not think it is all about me. I think she should be judged on her own achievements rather than where I can afford for us to live.  They have stated that it is because of her postcode and 3 of her friends in similar postcode areas have had the same response telling me it is about the postcode rather than an individual factor.

3
The Stay Safe Board / Re: Diary summary week ending 15th January
« on: Saturday 14 January 23 14:02 GMT (UK)  »
I second that,  we are here as a support to anyone .

Surely courts are there to help  however complicated  a case is,  that is what they get paid for

LM

They are there to uphold abuser's rights.  They never help, only punish.  The letter I got from the court at the very beginning made it clear that the only way to avoid an adverse outcome was to concede to all demands but I know that he would just ask for more and more.

Feeling upset and angry today.  Yesterday my daughter got another offer yesterday but it was a conditional.  Please don't get me wrong it is not that it is a conditional but what the condition is.  Because of her postcode the condition is that she attend summer school otherwise they think that she wouldn't handle uni.  I have looked it up and the summer school is advertised as for students meeting a list of disadvantages who narrowly missed the entry requirements to help them make up credits.  There are two entry requirements the preferred and the slightly lower minimum, my daughter met the preferred grades so does not need extra credits.  Since she stayed at school, if they wanted to put in a condition they could have asked for a particular grade in one or more of the subjects that she is doing this year.  That seems fairer as would then be based on her personal work and achievements rather than placing an extra barrier in her way (that will have costs attached) based on my failure at life.

To make matters worse the media here is full of articles saying that Edinburgh uni is making offers to poorer students, who don't deserve it at the expense of more deserving students from better backgrounds because they have "gone all woke".  That has infuriated me.  She earned those grades with her own intelligence and hard work and she did this while being dragged through court. AFAIC she earned and deserves her place at least as much as any student out there.  I fully accept that I am a failure, that people view me as sub-human scum, the sign of all that is wrong with this world.  But why do my children have to penalised and written off because of it, it shouldn't wipe out their genuine achievements.  She studied the same courses and sat the same exams as the children of proper parents so her grades should be judged on the same level.

Her Dad's family want her to accept the conditional offer as they see it as such a good university.  I don't want her to as I think the nature of the condition indicates that it would not be a supportive learning environment and may be actively nasty, make her feel like she doesn't belong.  That is not conduisive to her best university experience.  I'd rather she go where she is wanted, excel and show the b****ds

4
The Stay Safe Board / Re: Diary summary week ending 15th January
« on: Saturday 14 January 23 10:32 GMT (UK)  »
Pharma I wonder if you have had good legal advice .I know that you lead a busy life ...and can't afford top notch lawyers but there is help out there .

Where are you based and which organisations  have you tried already .? Maybe we can come up with other sources .

I've tried multiple local solicitors, Scottish Woman's Rights Centre, family law centre, legal advice via my union.  They all say they can't help, that my case is too complicated.  The outcomes and unfair judgements are not unique to my case.  If you look at Custodypeace and thecourtsaid on twitter they share many examples of what happens in family court.  It is illegal to report on faily court, so you won't get news stories like you do from the criminal court.  This means that people don't get to hear how it works unless they or someone close to them are involved.

5
The Stay Safe Board / Re: Diary summary week ending 15th January
« on: Friday 13 January 23 13:47 GMT (UK)  »
Whoever he is complaining to must realise that he hasn’t seen the house for years so he won’t have a clue what it’s like, and therefore he is wasting their time and (someone’s) money.

Public money as Social services have to investigate every report.

6
The Stay Safe Board / Re: Diary summary week ending 15th January
« on: Friday 13 January 23 13:23 GMT (UK)  »
I understand the control aspect of it, - and his junk in your house is a constant reminder of him.

But. It doesn’t make sense that he or anyone else could anyone accuse you of hoarding - if it’s his stuff?

I hope it gets sorted soon, and you can dump the lot. That will feel soooo goooood.  ;D

The truth doesn't matter, it's again all about control.  He'll make complaints about the state of the house, that he has not seen for years. He just hopes he gets caught wanting.

7
The Stay Safe Board / Re: Diary summary week ending 15th January
« on: Friday 13 January 23 12:58 GMT (UK)  »
The logic is that he cannot have his rights stepped on.  He is deliberately not doing anything about collecting it to extend control.  Also means he can accuse me of hoarding and be sure there is some 'evidence' of it

8
The Stay Safe Board / Re: Diary summary week ending 15th January
« on: Friday 13 January 23 07:46 GMT (UK)  »
So pleased to hear that you are doing well Viktoria.

Pharma, it’s good to do a bit of clearing out isn’t it? But. Why do you still have his stuff? When can you take it to the tip?  :-\

Seems ridiculous that his junk is still in your house taking up your space and being a constant reminder. None of it can be too vital if he hasn’t had the need to use it for years.

I can only take it to the tip if he gives permission or doesn't mention it for 2 years. All he has to do is say he wants it once every year to 2 years then do nothing about it.  You would think having taking nothing to do with it for 4 years 10mon and 21 days would mean that it was considered proof he neither wanted nor needed it but that's not how the law works.

9
The Stay Safe Board / Re: Diary summary week ending 15th January
« on: Thursday 12 January 23 18:27 GMT (UK)  »
Good news viktoria.

Still impatiently waiting for people to get back to me here.

Nothing exciting here. Been to the tip, just my own stuff though, still storing all his stuff.

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