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Messages - AndyH81

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I mean, I'd like to know names and maybe see pictures just so I know who they are. But I'm not really interested beyond that. Of course, if they wanted to say hello, they'd be more than welcome - as anyone would be. But they're not getting invites to Christmas dinner etc. They're just strangers to me and I know who my real family are.

The only real horrific concern I have is "Oh my God! What if I'd snogged or married a cousin/sibling?" and never known. lol

If anything, I just hope stories like these serve as a stark moral warning to others about having affairs or cheating on people: it's rarely the people who have the tryst who end up dealing with the consequences of their actions!

What great progress & thanks for the update!
Knowing that your biological father is most likely the full sibling of your highest DNA match certainly points you in the right direction.

Well, we're almost 100% certain we know which of the three brothers it is through lots of circumstantial evidence, unfortunately he is dead so cannot be tested, and I am told it's unlikely that his other children would ever be tested - or get tested of their own volition either.

Although one of the brothers is apparently intrigued enough that he's considering testing himself. Which I guess means he's confident enough that it's not him. lol At least it would narrow it down to two.

Well, we got the last test back:

BC (the daughter) and I share: 7.7% of our DNA, 543.2 cM, 25 segments with the largest being 71.1 cM.

PW (the mother) and I share: 16% of our DNA, 1,130.7 cM, 37 segments with the largest being 88.1 cM.

PI (the grandmother) and I share: 30.4% of our DNA, 2,153.5 cM, 41 segments and the largest is 166.3 cM

So the grandmother is almost certainly my aunt. So I have an aunt, first cousin, and first cousin once removes respectively.

I believe someone else in the family might be prepared to do a test to rule themselves out, but if that were they case, it would only confirm they weren't a parent - just an uncle.

My half first cousins match me at 572 cM and 483 cM.  Whilst at the low end it is possible that the mother could be a half sibling.

Sorry to jump onboard but I've today found a new (unknown) match with...

1st – 2nd Cousin
8% shared DNA
578 cM across 21 segments

I've been in touch & will wait for a reply as to connections prior to jumping to conclusions  ;)

I can't recall if AndyH81 actually listed the % shared DNA & segments with his matches?


BC (the daughter) and I share: 7.7% of our DNA, 543.2 cM, 25 segments with the largest being 71.1 cM.

PW (the mother) and I share: 16% of our DNA, 1,130.7 cM, 37 segments with the largest being 88.1 cM.

Ok. I thought based on everything I'd read that in order for someone to be a half-sibling you had to share at least 25% of your DNA or more to have that relationship and not that it could be lower.

Either way, that's not going to be the case as it's the women in the family I am related to, so the only way I could be the mother's half-brother is if her parents were too related, which to the best of my knowledge, they're not! Nobody was born with an extra head that I know of anyway.

Also depends upon being tested with the same Company.

My Ancestry DNA matches have quite different cM figures on the comparison websites.

DNA Painter gives your 572cM as a 1/2 First Cousin at a 83% Probability and the 483cM the same at 89%

If you have not used their WATO tool, give it a go and see the vatios hypothesis’s that it presents

I think the percentages the two of us are referring to might be two different things? Yours seem to be saying the percentage of probability of X relationship. The percentages I am talking about is the total percentage of DNA that we share.

Just some food for thought. My half first cousins match me at 572 cM and 483 cM.  Whilst at the low end it is possible that the mother could be a half sibling.

I'd have to double-check, but I think her father died before I would have been conceived.

Also, I thought that half-siblings generally shared 25% or more DNA with another half-sibling (she and I "only" share 16%) and could be fairly accurately identified as half-siblings without too much guess work.

Ooooh, it's been a while, but I thought I'd come back to this again.

The girl who I initially matched to we now think is my 1st cousin once removed, as her mother has subsequently taken a test and has come back as an even closer match which would rather suggest her mother is my first cousin. In turn, her grandmother has now agreed to do a test to determine our relationship; as if she is my aunt, then we know my biological father must be one of her own brothers... it's just not easy to know which one. Several of them are dead, and the one who is alive would not be interested in finding out.

But what I wanted to check is if anyone knew much about the accuracy of MyHeritage's relationship suggestions as they offer a 'range', rather than a specific relationship? I'm going to use initials to protect identities, but the relationships I know about now are:

BC - first girl I matched with, we share 543 CMs. The suggestion is 1C1R, Great Niece, or 2nd Cousin

PW - mother of the girl I matched with, we share 1,130 CMs. The suggestion is 1C, Great Aunt, Great-grandmother or great-granddaughter.

Would there be any way for me to know definitively which of those suggestions is correct?

For PW I immediately ruled out her being my great-granddaughter or grandmother because I don't have kids and she and I are only about 12 years apart in age, so that would leave a cousin or a great-aunt. Is there any way to actually know?

When PW's mother takes a test: If she is my aunt: Would that give a 100% definitive result? Or would it still provide a range of suggestions?

This is all doing my head in after so many months. All I want is definitive answers.

Ancestral Family Tree DNA Testing / Re: DNA ethnicity logic check / Unexpected result
« on: Saturday 22 January 22 17:13 GMT (UK)  »
I already looked in to how I might get hold of her records, but I am legally unable to do so. There's very specific instances when you can, but I don't believe myself or anyone else in my family qualifies to do so based on what I had read.

Now that my father has spoken to my aunt, I think the idea of there being an older sibling is very unlikely now.

I've decided to focus my efforts on the possibility of finding out who the biological father is instead. I'm pretty sure I've narrowed it down to about 5 different men but in so far as I can currently tell, they're all dead.

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