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« on: Friday 31 July 20 23:27 BST (UK) »
As I see it, you are doing exactly what is expected. It is a family matter, irrespective of what Red Tape dictates. I have had the unfortunate experience of doing the same as yourself, as will many others. Keep on doing what you are doing, and I wish you well for your endeavours. More power to your elbow.
Curiosity is a very natural instinct and opening that letter is understandable. I would probably have done the same. But then I would have wondered why it was unopened, and why it had suddenly appeared (as a coaster).
One of the successes I had was going through old photographs and discussing them. The results were amazing, their old memories came flooding back where short term memories were practically non-existent. I would want to know why the letter was unopened, there must surely have been a reason, so perhaps a 'memory session' might give an answer.
The very best wishes to you,
Colin