Stillbirths

[Lloydy]

Hello Phay and thank you for explaining your quest.

I was compelled to find my sister and so I went hunting

I feel the same, especially since doing my family tree, but unfortunately I can't discuss it with my parents.  It's a subject they refuse to talk about.

I started by phoning the GRO they told me that only my mum could apply but after explaining my situation ( I think they took pity on me) they did a search they discovered that there was no birth cert as the child was registered as stillborn, I asked for a copy of the Stillborn cert and this arrived.

I think I will phone the GRO and see if they take pity on me aswell....all they can say is "No".  I have nothing to lose.

Next I wanted to know where she was buried, I assumed that we were born in the same hospital and so started there where I was told that they used to incinerate stillbirths (which horrified me)

Horrifying indeed........but Mum did tell me that my sister was incinerated.  I don't know whether this is true, or merely to stop me searching.  I shall phone our local hospital and see what I can find out.

I don't know if any of this helps any one,

You have been extremely helpful

Many thanks

Jan

[mimosa]

Hi everyone,

I have been reading through this topic with interest as my mum gave birth to a stillborn baby daughter and I have often wondered how I would go about searching for the documentation, my parents did not speak about this very much and has they have now both sadly passed away I cannot ask. Now I have started making inquiries using some helpful suggestions given here.

So I would like to say Thank you for the help and guidance.

Regards Mimosa

[mitchell]

Hi,

I've just noticed this topic. My mum gave birth to her first child, a stillborn son, in 1951...and as with other posters experiences, the baby was taken away right after the birth, my dad dealt with the funeral and my mum was told nothing about it or told where he was buried.
It had always bothered mum that she wasn't able to see him or hold him and that he was never talked about but that is how it was dealt with in those days.
A few years ago, I came across a small notice in the local paper telling of a Stillbirth service to be held in a cemetery here in Aberdeen organised by the hospital chaplain and SANDS. Mum and I attended the service and it was very emotional and very moving. Mum was able to talk to the chaplain and representatives of SANDS afterwards and discovered that most stillborn babies born in the hospital over the years were buried in the special babies section at Trinity Cemetery. None of the graves were marked and we were told of the plan to create a walkway of edging stones on which the babies names could be engraved and that the service was going to be held annually.
A few years on and mum has somewhere to visit and remember my brother and he has his special stone with his name on it.
I have recently discovered that stillbirths in Scotland have been registered since 1939 and this is something that I can look into as mum would be interested in getting an extract.

Elaine

[pompeyboy]

...In 1959 i had a sister who was stillborn and according to my mother she was taken away within an hour of being born and was buried in the same coffin as a neighbour who was being buried that day.

Had a bit of a result yesterday......have been in constant touch with a lovely helpful lady in the Portsmouth Cemeteries Dept,in fact we are now on first name terms,she has been so helpful in finding graves for some of my rellies,but this time she really has come up trumps.My mother had a stillborn baby(as in above quote)now it turns out that my sister had in fact been buried in her own coffin in a communal grave,this lady gave me the plot,row number and grave number,my mother was shocked as she had been told otherwise,she can now get some sort of closure and has gone to the grave today to lay some flowers,she is so pleased.The lady in the cemeteries dept has also recieved a box of choccies from us both for her help.

Similing Steve

[tinav40]

That is absolutely wonderful.
  and at the same time
Tina

[pompeyboy]

That is absolutely wonderful.
  and at the same time
Tina

Thanks Tina,you're right it is great and at the same time a bit sad..had a lump in me throat since i found out and can't wait to get back to Portsmouth for a visit.

Cheers

Steve

[janan]

Fantastic Steve 

People can be so helpful - wonderful when someone is willing to do that bit extra

Jan

[mitchell]

I'm so pleased for you and especially for your mum Steve 

Elaine

[pompeyboy]

Thanks Jan and Elaine..the lady in question has been so helpful and will be in the future as well hopefully and it cost me no more than a box of chocolates..like you say Jan some people are so kind and helpful without expecting anything in return.....she was quite chuffed with the chocs though.

Steve