Author Topic: Why can't I sprinkle ashes  (Read 46193 times)

Offline beady

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #27 on: Sunday 22 June 08 15:20 BST (UK) »
There was to be a big fee for headstone removal to add father in law's name to mother in law. Friday evening, trailer and brother, headstone away. replace on sunday with updated inscription. No fee and one puzzled jobsworth --- no proof!!!!!
The best time to do this sort of thing is between 5pm friday and 8am monday --- most of the jobsworths are off for the weekend.
Barry
Dring, Keightley, Lincs,  Davies, Stuckey, S Wales

Offline sarahsean

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #28 on: Sunday 22 June 08 15:51 BST (UK) »
My sister, step father and I scattered my mothers ashes off a cliff in Devon where she used to walk. You were supposed to get permission but as it wasn`t hurting anyone what is the problem. The army do training up there and after we had scattered the ashes they all ran past!
 Go and do it it is what your mother in law would have wanted.

 Sarah
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Offline kooky

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #29 on: Sunday 22 June 08 16:28 BST (UK) »
When my father died in 1996 my mother told me that he wanted his ashes to be scattered at Howth, north of Dublin, on the beach. When I asked why, she said that when he was a small child he went out in a boat with his father and some other friends. They all 'had drink taken' and in short, the boat capsized. Someone died and the others got ashore. My father was missing. He was washed up on Howth beach, found and then recovered. He always said that was where he should have died, and therefore wanted his ashes spread there.
My 2 daughters and I went to Dublin and took the ashes to Howth as per instructions.

Before my mother died she said she wanted her ashes to be scattered where my father's were. We went back to Dublin, but when we got to Howth it was a high tide and we could not reach the same bit of beach. It was very windy and we found a place which we thought was the nearest. Unfortunately my mother's ashes turned into a vortex and blew everywhere except where they were supposed to go :o!

Nobody questioned us. We did not ask permission. The only thing we had to do was carry a letter from the funeral director stating what was in the urns we were taking on the 'plane as hand luggage!

Just do it!
Kooky
Clulo - Staffs.,Warwickshire, Lancs.1780 -1950
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Offline otters

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #30 on: Sunday 22 June 08 16:35 BST (UK) »
When my mum passed away I asked for her ashes to be kept in an urn in a niche in the wall or to have a tree planted with her ashes buried beneath and was told that was fine.
After the cremation I was then told there was no where available and I would have to buy a grave because I didn't want her ashes scattered. It cost me a small fortune to buy a grave and a headstone and we had to plan another day for the internment of the ashes with the funeral staff there as well. If only I had known then that I could have taken her ashes  home.
Her death was very sudden and I just didn't have time to think properly about it until after the shock had worn off, by then it was too late.
Aitchison Scotland, Hull. Burrows Hull. Gibson Hull. Locking Linc's, Hull. Remington,Rimmington York's. Wales, York's. Ward, Hull. Whiteley Linc's, Hull. Wilkinson Thorne, Hull. Yeaman York's.

Offline Nick29

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #31 on: Monday 23 June 08 09:35 BST (UK) »
That's really awful, but I think gravestones are as much for the living as they are for the departed.  When my parents died, they wanted to be cremated, and they didn't want a gravestone or their ashes scattered.  So there is nothing to mark their resting place.  When my wife visits her mother, she will invariably visit her father's grave and lay some flowers on it.  I can't do that.  It does trouble me sometimes, but my mum and dad are never very far from me, no matter where I am in the world.  Unfortunately the downside of gravestones is that after two generations they are abandoned and uncared for.  Look at the state of many of our Victorian cemetaries.

RIP 1949-10th January 2013

Best Wishes,  Nick.

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Offline newbe_nz

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #32 on: Monday 23 June 08 09:58 BST (UK) »
Hi, a very interesting thread.

I have a funny story to do with my grandmother the day of her funeral.  This alll started arter the service.  We had our eats then grandmother was put in the hurst in order to go to the cemetery.

It was a white hurst.  Grandmother insisted in only going in a black hurst, so as we were all about to leave the hurst would not start. The funeral director tried all he might to strat it but no go.

In the end he arranged for a black hurst to come to the funeral home to have grandmother  transfered.

Guess what!!!

Aftre grandmother was transfered to the black hurst the white one started.

It wasn't funny at the time but we all got a laugh out of it later even the church minister had a lugh as well.

Goes to show anything can happen.


I also remember after my father died he wanted his ashes scattered at sea.  Mum thought differently.

So when we went to the funeral home and picked them up we went down to the cemetery and scattered them around the roses.  ( the roses are no longer there).  Later we found out the the cemetery staff had already scattered half his ashes in the roses.  The other half was meant to be scattered at sea.

Well it nevered happened.   Funny how things happen sometimes..
Newbe
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Offline Nick29

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #33 on: Monday 23 June 08 10:08 BST (UK) »
People say odd things at funerals too.  Probably due to the shock and the grief.

We were in the hearse, returning from the crematorium when my dad died.  My father was a fireman in the London Fire Brigade from 1922 until 1944, and he served right through the London Blitz.  Half way back from the crematorium, and my mother suddenly broke her silence and said "Well, that's the last fire your father will go to".  My sister and I were both totally shocked at the time, and we just sat there dumbfounded, but after 25 years I can look back on it and smile.  My mother always had a knack for saying things at the wrong time, but this was her finest hour  :)

RIP 1949-10th January 2013

Best Wishes,  Nick.

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Offline 7igerby7he7ail

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #34 on: Monday 23 June 08 10:32 BST (UK) »
Interesing thread

I have had my share of jobsworths when it comes to funerals and disposals.

My stepfather a long serving merchant navy man, said that he wanted his ashes scattered in the English Channel. So first we went the 'legal' route contacting various maritime orgs, ferry cos. etc. They all said the same, 'cant do, health and safety, euro legislation, enviroment, blah,blah,blah'.
So we decided to go ahead anyhow and booked a trip across the Channel.

We were about half way across when we decided that was the spot.
We scattered the old fellas ashes over the side.
Unfortunately we were on the windward side of the boat  and it was a bit gustyand the ashes blew back and were evenly distributed over our fellow passengers.

Yhe old b****r must have been laughing at this display as he did have a wicked sense of humour.

I would like to think that our fellow passegers also took a bit of him home with them. He always loved to travel!
Tree
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Offline beady

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #35 on: Monday 23 June 08 14:14 BST (UK) »
If they see you splash the ash just deny it. Without other witnesses how are they going to prove it was yours? What will they make you do, pick it up and take it away?
Dring, Keightley, Lincs,  Davies, Stuckey, S Wales