Author Topic: Why can't I sprinkle ashes  (Read 46404 times)

Offline Lisajb

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #54 on: Wednesday 12 February 20 11:52 GMT (UK) »
When my mum in law died, enquiries were made of various places to scatter her ashes. All wanted to charge.

Her children eventually scattered her ashes in her garden. Her husband passed away a few weeks later and the house was sold.

They can't really now ever go and sit in the garden to remember their mum. It's someone else's house now.
Mullingar, Westmeath Ireland: Gilligan/Wall/Meagher/Maher/Gray/O'Hara/Corroon (various spellings)
Bristol: Woodman/James/Derrick
Bristol/Somerset: Saunders/Wilmot
Gloucestershire:Woodman/Mathews/Tandy/Stinchcombe/Marten/Thompson
Wiltshire: Mathews
Carmarthen: Thomas, Lewis
Australia: Mary Lewis, transportee, married Henry Smith, what happened to her?

Offline radstockjeff

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #55 on: Wednesday 12 February 20 12:35 GMT (UK) »
We bought our current bungalow in 2002 and had some correspondence after we moved in with the previous owner's son. We told him that we liked the bungalow and the garden and were enjoying our time here. There was a tenuous link between his dad and my parents which we discovered through this correspondence. He also told us that his mum had been very fond of her garden and it was her wish that her ashes were scattered there.
Strange as it seems, from our very first visit to view the property there was a warm and friendly feeling about the place.
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Offline Lisajb

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #56 on: Wednesday 12 February 20 13:58 GMT (UK) »
My husband lived with his uncle, great aunt and great grandmother when he was younger.

His great aunt died and was buried with her mother in a local churchyard.

The great aunts dog died and was buried in the back garden. My husband said to his uncle "We should have buried the dog with Molly (His great aunt). " good idea" said his uncle and went to the garden to exhume the dog.

At dark of night the pair of them stole into the churchyard with deceased dog, and buried her in the grave. Like Burke and Hare, except they were putting one in rather than taking out.

Fast forward a few years, another great aunt had died, and her ashes were to be interred in that same grave.

I am struggling to contain myself at the graveside, expecting doggy bones to be excavated at any moment.

"Shut up, this is a serious occasion!" hissed hubby. On hearing me say "the dogs going to come up in a minute" he assured me that they had buried the dog a good way down.
Mullingar, Westmeath Ireland: Gilligan/Wall/Meagher/Maher/Gray/O'Hara/Corroon (various spellings)
Bristol: Woodman/James/Derrick
Bristol/Somerset: Saunders/Wilmot
Gloucestershire:Woodman/Mathews/Tandy/Stinchcombe/Marten/Thompson
Wiltshire: Mathews
Carmarthen: Thomas, Lewis
Australia: Mary Lewis, transportee, married Henry Smith, what happened to her?


Offline IgorStrav

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #57 on: Wednesday 12 February 20 14:32 GMT (UK) »
We bought our current bungalow in 2002 and had some correspondence after we moved in with the previous owner's son. We told him that we liked the bungalow and the garden and were enjoying our time here. There was a tenuous link between his dad and my parents which we discovered through this correspondence. He also told us that his mum had been very fond of her garden and it was her wish that her ashes were scattered there.
Strange as it seems, from our very first visit to view the property there was a warm and friendly feeling about the place.

My father left specific instructions that his ashes should be mixed with my mum's (she had died a few years earlier) and scattered in the garden of their house, where they had lived for 50 years and were very proud/fond of.

He knew very well that the house would be sold - it was, and converted into three flats (London, you know) - but that he wanted to stay with my mum there.

We (my children and I) followed his wishes.

You're never anywhere permanently, even your grave.  Things change, don't they.

Pay, Kent. 
Barham, Kent. 
Cork(e), Kent. 
Cooley, Kent.
Barwell, Rutland/Northants/Greenwich.
Cotterill, Derbys.
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Offline Greensleeves

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #58 on: Wednesday 12 February 20 22:12 GMT (UK) »
I'm still laughing at Lisa's post about the dog in the grave!

After my husband died, I had his ashes in my wardrobe for over a year, and occasionally my daughter and I would put him in the car and take him for a drive, since we thought he might be getting a bit bored in there ;D

When we finally did manage to get all the family together at the same time, we met at Glastonbury, had a wonderful family meal to celebrate his life, and then the next morning, early, we climbed the Tor.  When we got up to the top we scattered his ashes.  Unfortunately though, the wind was so strong that - according to my son-in-law - he probably ended up in Cornwall.   It would have amused him hugely.
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Durham/Yorkshire: Sedgwick/Sidgwick, Shadforth
Ireland: Davis
Norway: Torreson/Torsen/Torrison
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Offline Lola5

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #59 on: Wednesday 12 February 20 23:19 GMT (UK) »
Love all these stories.
My father wanted his ashes  to be sprinkled around the apple tree but I could not do it. My daughter  now has him in a pot in her conservatory.

Aunt died and she
 is now around the apple tree.

And I shall go there too I expect .
There are seldom any apples on it though lovely blossom.





Offline Treetotal

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #60 on: Wednesday 12 February 20 23:24 GMT (UK) »
Lisa and GS....your stories really made me laugh out loud  ;D
Carol
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Offline Gillg

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #61 on: Thursday 13 February 20 10:57 GMT (UK) »
Just found this thread and wanted to add my experience with my mother-in-law's ashes.  A week or so after her cremation we met with the local vicar at the church and were taken to a little plot surrounded with roses. There the vicar produced a hideous cheap plastic urn, presumably supplied by the crem, unscrewed the lid and took out a clear plastic bag containing the ashes.  She tipped them out of the bag into a hole that had been dug, said a little prayer and then looked at us expectantly.  We really didn't know what was expected of us, so I picked up a bit of earth, dropped it into the hole and said, "Good-bye, old friend". The others sheepishly followed suit.  The vicar went off with the empty bag and urn (for recycling?) and we all went home, feeling rather stunned at the business-like way the "ceremony" had been conducted.

My mother and father's ashes are both buried in the same tiny plot at a crematorium, although my mother died 20 years after my father.  Helpful crem staff enabled this.  The plot situation is measured in footsteps.  The burial ground is on a hill and my instructions are 13 steps up and 1 1/2 steps across.  There are no plaques displayed, so it's a bit random. :)  Mother's second husband, however, is elsewhere, though at the same crematorium (his children's wishes).
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Online tjugg

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Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #62 on: Thursday 13 February 20 11:51 GMT (UK) »
When my mother in law died she wanted her ashes to be sprinkled on her parents grave no problem we thought but yes a hefty sum of money would be charged.  Husband thought it would be easier to sneak in and do it ourselves.  Picture it a middle aged couple, giggling, one in a thick coat I it was  July but the container had to be hidden, we were looking furtive searching the graveyard for the correct grave.  Having found it I was on lookout and husband getting the job done.  We haven't had much to do with ashes but the container of the ashes was an old fashioned big sweet jar and it was full,  no little puff of ashes which could be dispersed in the grass easily it was pretty difficult to cover up. We'd like to think mother in law was watching us laughing her head off.

Linda
Blunden Dorset and Surrey
Rayner Suffolk and Sussex
Norris and Wellman Dorset
Wheatley Yorkshire and Suffolk