Author Topic: Why can't I sprinkle ashes  (Read 46210 times)

Offline Guy Etchells

  • RootsChat Marquessate
  • *******
  • Posts: 4,217
    • View Profile
Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #9 on: Friday 20 June 08 20:25 BST (UK) »
Hi Caz
sorry for you and your family's loss.  Go ahead and scatter and them where she wanted to be scattered  - It would take one very hard hearted person to stop you ( and what grounds can they stop you for?) .

If it were me, I would go ahead with the person's wishes, and b*gger what anyone else has to say about the  legalities of it. I doubt very much the gaols are full of people scattering  ashes of family members  over graves.

Kind regards




They could probably do you for 101 violations from littering to polluting the water supply and everything in between.

I would suggest it is one of those rules designed to stop the practice becoming common to the extent of becoming a hazard.

There are a couple of points though.
When a body is cremated not all of it is consumed by the fire, often bones etc. still remain in the ashes. Some crematoria grind the ashes to pulverize these bones and teeth.

Second if you do decide to scatter the ashes try to do so before a shower of rain, the rain will quickly wash the ashes into the grass & soil. ;)
Cheers
Guy
http://anguline.co.uk/Framland/index.htm   The site that gives you facts not promises!
http://burial-inscriptions.co.uk Tombstones & Monumental Inscriptions.

As we have gained from the past, we owe the future a debt, which we pay by sharing today.

Offline Su

  • RootsChat Aristocrat
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,230
  • Every time an Angel smiles a flower grows
    • View Profile
Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #10 on: Friday 20 June 08 20:54 BST (UK) »
When my Mum's brother died, my cousin visited his second wife and she asked if my cousin would like some of his ashes.
My cousin said yes, because she wanted to scatter them over her mother's (his first wife's) grave.
She was given half his ashes in a Tesco bag  ;D She did wonder which half of him she got  :D
She also rang up the Crem and asked if she could scatter them.  They said there would be a charge, so she thought blow that (or words to that effect) and she and a friend went along one winter's evening.
The friend kept watch while my cousin tried to dig a hole in the hard frosty soil of the grave.  She eventually managed a small hole and tipped the ashes in.  That night it chucked it down with rain, so she went back the next day to check it out.  There was a pile of mud and ashes on top of the grave, so she said she had to start digging with her hand to cover it up again.
She said her Mum and Dad would be in fits of laughter if they were watching her  ;D

I think this charging is just a big rip off.
When we wanted to bury my Dad's ashes in the Crem gardens they said it would be a Lease costing £650 for so many years.  Once the time was up if the Lease lapsed then they would dig up the ashes and scatter them over a rose garden.  We were appalled.
We buried Dad's ashes in the grave of his Mum and Dad where he would want to be anyway (don't know why we didn't think of it first) and it cost us nothing.

If I want to scatter the ashes of a loved one in the future, I shall just do it one evening when nobody is around.

Su
Barnett Altrincham/Manchester
Bates Hindley Lancs
Bowyer Altrincham Cheshire
Cunliffe Hindley
Hollingworth Hale Barnes/Mobberley Ches
Jones Salford/Altrincham
Ramsdale Hindley Lancs
Timperley Warburton/Dunham Massey
Yarwood Great Budworth,Lymm,Dumham Massey

All Census look up transcriptions are Crown Copyright

Offline ozlady

  • RootsChat Veteran
  • *****
  • Posts: 821
  • Ex-South Wales. Down Under in Brisbane, Australia
    • View Profile
Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #11 on: Saturday 21 June 08 02:19 BST (UK) »
Dad and I sprinkled Mum's ashes exactly where she wanted. To be honest, I never ever thought about asking permission. We just went and did it. Admittedly, the spot was somewhat isolated but I assume the same red tape would apply. Just go and do it Caz.
Watkins, Price Herefordshire
Brannan, Price, GLAM
Edwards, Gardner MON
Clark(e) SOM
 Census information Crown Copyright www.nationalarchives.gov.uk


Offline mrs_tease

  • RootsChat Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 172
  • Arthur Simon 1869 - 1922
    • View Profile
Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #12 on: Saturday 21 June 08 13:14 BST (UK) »
When my dad died his ashes were scattered at the local crem, a year or so later both his dogs had died.

My mum had them cremated and asked if she could have the dogs ashes scattered where my dad was, the answer was 'no, you cannot mix human and animal ashes'

bearing in mind my mum is one the most law abiding people lol and aged in her 70's, she then took a 'walk' in the crem scattering ashes as she went!

She had left it late on in the day to do this and found herself locked in the crem, luckily it has a 3 foot wall around it, picturing a 70 yr old climbing the wall breaking OUT of the crem makes me laugh everytime

Even she thought it a ludicrus rule for people to stick to lol
Simon (Lincolnshire,Yorkshire)Boyd, Walters, Percy, Richardson (Lincolnshire) Mckay, Bateman (Hull)Ellis (Lincolnshire,Hull)

Offline CU

  • RootsChat Aristocrat
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,561
    • View Profile
Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #13 on: Saturday 21 June 08 13:17 BST (UK) »
Good for her   ;D
Census Information is Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk

Offline mazwad

  • RootsChat Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 191
  • Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
    • View Profile
Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #14 on: Saturday 21 June 08 20:38 BST (UK) »
I love these stories proving that there is humour even in death.   That last one made me think of the  prisoner of war film where they were trying to dispose of the earth from the tunnel and had a bag iinside their trousers releasing a bit at a time as they walked around.

I had a friend who took a relatives ashes up to the top of Goodwood ( a local hilly spot near us) they said a few fitting words and started sprinkling the ashes when a huge gust of wind blew up and they ended up with it in their hair eyes and mouths.
Claridge, Banes, Davidson, Guthrie. West Ham area.

Offline stoney

  • RootsChat Veteran
  • *****
  • Posts: 615
  • Mum, bless her!
    • View Profile
Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #15 on: Saturday 21 June 08 20:40 BST (UK) »
When my dad died his ashes were scattered at the local crem, a year or so later both his dogs had died.

My mum had them cremated and asked if she could have the dogs ashes scattered where my dad was, the answer was 'no, you cannot mix human and animal ashes'

bearing in mind my mum is one the most law abiding people lol and aged in her 70's, she then took a 'walk' in the crem scattering ashes as she went!

She had left it late on in the day to do this and found herself locked in the crem, luckily it has a 3 foot wall around it, picturing a 70 yr old climbing the wall breaking OUT of the crem makes me laugh everytime

Even she thought it a ludicrus rule for people to stick to lol


 ;D ;D ;D  Good for her!  Certainly brought a smile to my face - might have given a few passers-by a bit of a funny turn if it had been dark!  :o


As for not mixing human and animal remains - what a load of old twaddle!
Beattie, Beveridge, Carson, Davidson, Hounam, Johnston,  Purdon, Rae, Stevenson, - Scotland.  Brown, Bulman, Cooke, Harding, Meyers, Osborne, Routledge - England

Offline silvery

  • RootsChat Marquessate
  • *******
  • Posts: 3,779
  • information Crown Copyright, from www.nation
    • View Profile
Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #16 on: Saturday 21 June 08 20:46 BST (UK) »
I agree Stoney, and it wasn't even remains.  It was ashes.  jobsworths
"This information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk"

Offline Mogsmum

  • RootsChat Senior
  • ****
  • Posts: 363
  • Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
    • View Profile
Re: Why can't I sprinkle ashes
« Reply #17 on: Sunday 22 June 08 09:10 BST (UK) »
Oh - just do it.   The old maxim, don't ask - it just gives them a chance to refuse comes into play here.    If the ashes are to be placed in a cemetery then it's merely a case of doing some routine 'tidying up' around the grave isn't it?   A few ashes incorporated into the soil isn't going to make a jot of difference to anyone - and is far better than the ghastly plastic gnomes or other paraphernalia which seem to clutter some cemeteries.

When my Father was cremated we were given a choice, did we want his ashes returned to us, buried, placed on the ground in the Garden of Remembrance (they have a cross marked out on the ground where ashes are placed on the surface - bizarrely) or 'scattered to the winds'.   Since my father hated being in one place for long, we chose the latter and, subsequently the same thing happened with Mum's ashes.

I prefer to remember my parents as the people they were so, from a purely personal view, ashes were just that - ashes, thus I chose not to attend this scattering to the winds .. but there will forever remain a small part of me that has visions of a man licking his finger and holding it up to determine the wind direction before throwing handfuls of ash into the air!