Another local expression - do you have a variant?

[IgorStrav]

Following up the thread about twang toed, I was reminded of an expression my mother (a native Londoner) used when something happened which was rather good.... she would say

"Well, that's better than a poke in the eye with a dirty stick!"


I have used this most of my life - I think it's quite expressive  - but a lot of people find it very odd.

However, I once met someone from Hull, and he said in his part of the world the expression was


"Better than a slap in the belly with a wet fish!"

which seems very appropriate for Hull.


Any other variants?  Does anyone else recognise this one?

[hepburn]

We must be a bit crude where I come from.......It's better than a kick up the a***......

[IgorStrav]

Well, of course there is always that one........

My mother was too refined for that one, although she was prone to say when she was very lively that she felt "Like 10 men, one after another!"

I still remember how shocked I was when I realised the implications......

[Paul Caswell]

I remember:

Better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick.

Better than a slap in the face with a wet fish.

Sorry, I have no idea why I remember them, or from where or when.

Paul

[NadT]

very similar to Pauls' - It used to be 'better then a poke in the eye with a sharp stick'.  I'm from Wales and my hubby from Shropshire - we both use the same saying!

[7igerby7he7ail]

Better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick was one that I heard and used in Manchester

[purlin]

better than charity and that's chilly,  better than my poor willy!      and he's been dead a fortnight, poor ba *    *d!!

[nort]

Well, of course there is always that one........

My mother was too refined for that one, although she was prone to say when she was very lively that she felt "Like 10 men, one after another!"

I still remember how shocked I was when I realised the implications......

when my grandad felt a bit lively he'd say " I cud bull a coo" (cow to non geordies.)

[Emjaybee]

How about:

All my eye and Betty Martin
Up in Annie's room behind the clock
Joe soap from the roundhouse, lived in the middle one of them two and went upstairs to get down into the cellar.
Colder than a witches t*t
Rough as a bears a**e
When that worm turned it had an elephants foot
One sandwich short of a picnic