Can't afford gravestones?

[gwen j]

My Mothers mother died in 1966 and my Dad in 1967.Mum was left without a penny and the graves,which where next to each other where unmarked.When Mum died in 1990,my brothers and I decided that even though she was cemated,we would have her ashes buried in Dads grave and put a headsone in to mark the three of them.Even though we all live some miles away from the graveyard its lovely to have somewhere to go on special days and know that all three are remembered.

[Barbara348]

Hi Filiem,

just seen your post.

It seems that only people with money could afford a Gravestone and there were so many who couldn't and are in unmarked graves.

A couple of years ago I visited the cemetery where my Gt Grandparents (died in the 1890's) are buried and the caretaker showed me a piece of land under which my relatives were buried.

It was unmarked, you wouldn't know it was someone's final resting place, and there were other unrelated persons in the same grave.
Very depressing but that's how hard life was then.

My Gt Grandad on the other side of my family is in the same cemetery and he has a gravestone but it's made of sandstone and is crumbling away - it's almost impossible now to read any inscription.

My Grandmother, who died in Feb 1945, is also in an unmarked grave because WW11 still hadn't finished &  my mum & her siblings just did not have the money for a gravestone.

I always think that if I won a lot of money, I would erect gravestones for all my ancestors who are in unmarked graves but I feel that's most unlikely to happen !!!

Barbara.

[Sylviaann]

Well I must admit that my husband was cremated and his ashes scattered at the crematorium so no gravestone for him.  There will not be one for me either if my children follow my wishes and do the same with me.  They won't have the money for anything.  Hopefully my family tree and computer will produce something for them to remember us by.

Sylviaann

[behindthefrogs]

It was not always a matter of could not afford gravestones.  There are no gravestones on either side of my family for a number of generations.  This was not a matter of could not afford them but a belief that they were a huge waste of money and that a donation to a charity was much better use of the money.

This seems to have been tradition in the particular Congregational and Baptist churches in which my parents were brought up.

David

[charlotteCH]

Hi David, that gravestone not be placed on graves was not universal in Conregational churches- as you indeed implied by use of the word 'particular". I have an 1877 burila of the son of a Conregational[Independent] Chapel minister with a gravestone and from then on I have found gravestones for other family members. - gald they did it, from my point of view, as I have gathered a heap of info from these.

charlotte

[behindthefrogs]

I was brought up in the Congregational Church and while the one of my youth had no gravestones those in which I was later involved all did.

David

[Vasquez109]

I found out the hard way! I drove all the way from Swansea to Desborough, Northamptonshire where a lot of the family are buried.

Not a single headstone to be found. Should have worked it out really as they were all Agricultural Labourers and quite poor!

[willow154]

Hi everyone,
About a year or so ago I went on a quest to see if I could find the grave of a rootschatter's ancestor. She told me not to build up any hopes as he was an ag. lab, and had died in the local workhouse.
However, I not only found his grave, but a whole group of family graves. So, you never know - these ancestors are always surprising us!
Paulene

[Vasquez109]

Wish I could say the same, but you had done very well. My ancestors had very little. How much do you think a burial and headstone would have cost?

A month or 2's wages?