I have 2 children, 12 and 14. They recently found out that they have a half brother, much older than them. I believe there to be another sibling, a girl, who is in younger than their half brother but older than them.
I was married to their father (divorced for 7 years) and he told me he had never been married before or had any other children. But we have, today, found both of these to be untrue. When we were still married the CSA came looking for him to collect payments for another child. I couldn't get much out of him at the time but he said it was a girl, who he didn't know he had as when he got her mother pregnant she told him she was going for a termination. (I now believe all of this to be a lie as he is a prolific liar)
After I divorced him I started to claim CSA and saw there were 3 children on the claim, this could not be their newly discovered half brother as he is too old to have been on the claim at this time. I did not discuss this with him as the relationship we had was not a good one and I did not want the confrontation.
Anyway, after their half brother recently got in contact with us, I thought maybe now I should look for this possible other sibling.
What I need to know is:
1. Am I able to track this half sister on behalf of my sons (they do not yet know there is possibly another sibling as I'd rather see if she is actually out there before dropping another bombshell on them. I don't think their half brother knows either and although he is an adult I would rather obtain more info before telling him, although this is probably not my decision to make.)
2. How much info I need to help with this? I have checked BDM records and found what I think to be a record of marriage between a woman and him in 1990. He was married to the half brother's mother in 1985 so I know that it is not a record of that and the name is not her name anyway. So I have what I think could be his wife's name and therefore possibly the name of the half sisters mother. I also have his DOB etc.
There is no malice behind my enquiry. My children are growing up and finding out they have a half brother at 12 and 14, that their father knew about but never told them, is not an easy thing to learn at this age. My 14 yr old is starting his GCSEs. He really doesn't need another sibling turning up in the middle of his exams...I may sound like an over protective mother here but they are my children after all. I also don't want them to find out in some other way and feel bad because I have known for some time and not acted on the info I have.
What I will day is that my sons met their half brother today and it was great. I am very proud of both of them and of him for making contact as it must have been very daunting.
Also, it may seem that I am being 'hard' using terms like half brother, sibling etc but I need to protect all those involved.
