Author Topic: Relative won't help me  (Read 4856 times)

Offline youngtug

  • RootsChat Marquessate
  • *******
  • Posts: 3,831
    • View Profile
Re: Relative won't help me
« Reply #9 on: Wednesday 28 December 16 07:18 GMT (UK) »
Did they ask for the money to pay for the certificates or for you to provide the certificates?
.http://www.rootschat.com/links/05q2/   
  WILSON;-Wiltshire.
 SOUL;-Gloucestershire.
 SANSUM;-Berkshire-Wiltshire
 BASSON-BASTON;- Berkshire,- Oxfordshire.
 BRIDGES;- Wiltshire.
 DOWDESWELL;-Wiltshire,Gloucestershire
 JORDAN;- Berkshire.
 COX;- Berkshire.
 GOUDY;- Suffolk.
 CHATFIELD;-Sussex-- London
 MORGAN;-Blaenavon-Abersychan
 FISHER;- Berkshire.
 BLOMFIELD-BLOOMFIELD-BLUMFIELD;-Suffolk.
DOVE. Essex-London
YOUNG-Berkshire
ARDEN.
PINEGAR-COLLIER-HUGHES-JEFFERIES-HUNT-MOSS-FRY

RootsChat is the busiest, largest free family history forum site in the country. It is completely free to use. Register now.
Also register instantly with Facebook or Twitter (and other social networks). Start your genealogy search now.


Offline Guy Etchells

  • RootsChat Marquessate
  • *******
  • Posts: 3,786
    • View Profile
Re: Relative won't help me
« Reply #10 on: Wednesday 28 December 16 07:29 GMT (UK) »
Let us know how you get on!!!

Annie

There is only one possible result, the list owners will be sympathetic and tell Fleur to chalk it up to experience.

She has already mentioned the request was sent by email (i.e. private correspondence therefore nothing to do with the list or forum).

I will give the following advice, we live in a time of technology where is costs very little or nothing to send digital copies of research almost instantly around the world; Unlike the past when documents had to be transcribed, photographed or photocopied and posted all which cost money or hours of work, rather than the simple copy & paste of today.
Yet people today complain of sharing research which cost a lot of money to compile, yes it did but you the researcher had that fun and sense of achievement in the process.
If someone promises you something but fails to live up to that promise you have lost nothing, even if you have sent copies of the research you have compiled over the years at great expense you have lost nothing, donít waste time worrying about it drop it and move on with what you enjoy, researching.

Every minute you waste worrying about such people is one less minute that could be spent on enjoyable research, which would you rather do?  ;)


Cheers
Guy
http://anguline.co.uk/Framland/index.htm   The site that gives you facts not promises!
http://burial-inscriptions.co.uk Tombstones & Monumental Inscriptions.

As we have gained from the past, we owe the future a debt, which we pay by sharing today.

RootsChat is the busiest, largest free family history forum site in the country. It is completely free to use. Register now.
Also register instantly with Facebook or Twitter (and other social networks). Start your genealogy search now.


Offline gaffy

  • RootsChat Marquessate
  • *******
  • Posts: 3,565
  • Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
    • View Profile
Re: Relative won't help me
« Reply #11 on: Wednesday 28 December 16 08:00 GMT (UK) »
Life's full of givers and takers, walk away from this person.

Going forward, I would also advise against providing any 'current' information (eg. information about oneself or living relatives) to anyone unless their bona fides are very well established.


Offline hurworth

  • RootsChat Aristocrat
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,164
  • Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
    • View Profile
Re: Relative won't help me
« Reply #12 on: Wednesday 28 December 16 08:35 GMT (UK) »
This isn't just an issue about who paid for certs etc. 

Information has been exchanged about living people.  I'm all for helping relatives fill in the gaps going back, but for closer relatives (even if deceased) I'd rather not over-share.

I've become very careful about "off the cuff" comments about distant relatives because I've sometimes found these comments/facts on a public tree quicker than you can say boo.   

Offline joboy

  • RootsChat Aristocrat
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,258
    • View Profile
Re: Relative won't help me
« Reply #13 on: Wednesday 28 December 16 09:05 GMT (UK) »
We are indeed fortunate to have Guy on board he is indeed a man of 'Infinite resource and Sagacity' (courtesy Rudyard Kipling).
Take heed of what he says and walk away from it ..... time is precious ...... it is to me at 89 years of age.  ;) ;)
Joe
 
Gill UK and Australia
Bell UK and Australia
Harding(e) Australia
Finch UK and Australia

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Offline JenB

  • RootsChat Marquessate
  • *******
  • Posts: 13,698
    • View Profile
Re: Relative won't help me
« Reply #14 on: Wednesday 28 December 16 09:15 GMT (UK) »
However I think you should get in touch with them & explain exactly the events & the outcome, send them a copy of all the correspondence & explain you're not happy & feel duped & that you would like something done about it as it's not something you would expect on an open forum.

Sorry, Annie, but I think it is pointless making such a complaint.

The site in question is simply one which aims to put family historians in contact with each other. There is nothing they can 'do' with regard to things said/said by private email which is what has happened in this case (reply #2)
 
From their terms & conditions  We provide a facility other people can use to post entries and send messages. We do not check the entries made by users.
http://www.curiousfox.com/uk/pages/terms.lasso

As Guy has said, Fleur is going to have to move on....
All Census Look Ups Are Crown Copyright from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk

Offline clairec666

  • RootsChat Aristocrat
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,050
  • My great-great-grandfather in his signalbox
    • View Profile
Re: Relative won't help me
« Reply #15 on: Wednesday 28 December 16 09:36 GMT (UK) »
This person sounds like a bit of a knob (to put it mildly), and the best thing to do with knobs is ignore them.

In the future, be cautious about who you share your information with if it refers to living relatives, but don't hold back on sharing your research with others - making connections with others and sharing info makes it even more fun, and while some people are "take take take" and gobble up your research while offering little in return, you haven't lost anything  so just forget them and carry on.
Transcribing Essex records for FreeREG.
Current parishes - Burnham, Purleigh, Steeple.
Get in touch if you have any interest in these places!

Offline LizzieW

  • RootsChat Marquessate
  • *******
  • Posts: 10,409
  • I'm nearer to finding out who you are thanks DNA
    • View Profile
Re: Relative won't help me
« Reply #16 on: Wednesday 28 December 16 12:57 GMT (UK) »
The other thing that strikes me is that it is very difficult to get hold of divorce papers, most of them since the war seem to have been destroyed and I'm sure even if available they wouldn't cost £60.  It sounds to me that, for some reason, they are more interested in the living than ancestors and I would be wary of giving this sort of info to other people in future.

Offline Ancestry Addicted

  • RootsChat Extra
  • **
  • Posts: 37
  • Census information Crown Copyright, from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
    • View Profile
Re: Relative won't help me
« Reply #17 on: Wednesday 28 December 16 13:33 GMT (UK) »
The other thing that strikes me is that it is very difficult to get hold of divorce papers, most of them since the war seem to have been destroyed and I'm sure even if available they wouldn't cost £60.  It sounds to me that, for some reason, they are more interested in the living than ancestors and I would be wary of giving this sort of info to other people in future.

You've all made good points. They do seem more interested in the living than the deceased. I divulged some dates and information in all good faith and I regret doing so now. The poster told me that it's £60 each for divorce ceticates that relate to our living relative that they originally enquired about.

One of my friends seems to think that this person may even be a fortune hunter, as they've previously tried to contact the relative in question and had all their correspondence rejected!

As a few of you have said, I'll chalk this one up to experience.

Thank you for your replies and I will definitely exercise some caution in future. :)

Fleur xx