Author Topic: Why do we say Uncle, rather than Uncle-in-law?  (Read 970 times)

Offline CaroleW

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Re: Why do we say Uncle, rather than Uncle-in-law?
« Reply #9 on: Monday 07 January 19 13:42 GMT (UK) »
Is there any real point to these questions?

At the end of the day - we call these relatives/friends by whatever term we - or they -  are comfortable with and not by any dictionary or other definition of their relationship to us.

I never addressed my mother in law by any name other than her married title.  My husband addressed my mother the same way.  Many of my friends were relieved when they had children as they were then able to start referring to their mother/father in law as gran/grandad

2 of my mothers sisters made it clear as I reached my teens that they wanted me to call them only by their christian names whereas her other sister and her brother were still addressed as auntie and uncle.

My husband and I are honorary aunt and uncle to my former neighbours children who although now in their late 40's vehemently rejected our suggestion that they just use our christian names.

To repeat what I said above - we call these relatives/friends by whatever term we - or they -  are comfortable with
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Offline Cwellan CoDown

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Re: Why do we say Uncle, rather than Uncle-in-law?
« Reply #10 on: Monday 07 January 19 13:43 GMT (UK) »
Quote
Is the word "uncle-in-law" ever used

"Oh - hello Uncle in law John - how are you"

No - I can't really see it taking off can you?  Have you ever hear it used - would you use it yourself?

What about honorary uncles and aunts who are just close family friends?  Do we greet them  - "hello honorary aunt/uncle"  ::)

Accept it's just uncle/aunt or christian names

In our family its always just Christian names, it think its strange to call people Aunt Mary or whatever, I would perhaps use it when talking about them to someone else who doesn't know who they are, but normally would just refer to them as Mary.

We don't refer to our parents as Mother Ann, or our sister as sister Kate, etc, the only time I have every heard the relation being used is to aunts and uncles.
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Online heywood

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Re: Why do we say Uncle, rather than Uncle-in-law?
« Reply #11 on: Monday 07 January 19 13:43 GMT (UK) »
My experience nowadays is that first names are used rather than titles in terms of parents in law and uncles/aunts.

In informal cases you could say uncle/aunt or mum/dad but when referring to someone use the more formal term - perhaps even ‘this is my aunt’s husband’ etc.

It is just one of life’s many mysteries, Paulo. We are all different  ;)

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Offline Mart 'n' Al

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Re: Why do we say Uncle, rather than Uncle-in-law?
« Reply #12 on: Monday 07 January 19 13:51 GMT (UK) »
I must discuss this with my niece in law and nephew in law to see what their views are.

Martin
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Offline Paulo Leeds

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Re: Why do we say Uncle, rather than Uncle-in-law?
« Reply #13 on: Monday 07 January 19 13:56 GMT (UK) »
I must discuss this with my niece in law and nephew in law to see what their views are.

Martin

Would that be your niece's husband?

Offline Paulo Leeds

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Re: Why do we say Uncle, rather than Uncle-in-law?
« Reply #14 on: Monday 07 January 19 13:57 GMT (UK) »
Thankyou guys, anyway my main point was that until a person is old enough to understand and differentiate between a blood relative to a none-blood relative they may not realise an Uncle and Uncle-in-law is different

Offline ThrelfallYorky

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Re: Why do we say Uncle, rather than Uncle-in-law?
« Reply #15 on: Monday 07 January 19 14:46 GMT (UK) »
I found that I'd been "adopted" by the adult daughter of a friend as an honourary auntie, some years ago, and every card she sends is signed to me as her "auntie"! It's quite nice, actually, as I've no real nieces or nephews, by blood or by marriage...
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Offline Rosinish

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Re: Why do we say Uncle, rather than Uncle-in-law?
« Reply #16 on: Monday 07 January 19 15:05 GMT (UK) »
until a person is old enough to understand and differentiate between a blood relative to a none-blood relative they may not realise an Uncle and Uncle-in-law is different

Equally, they wouldn't be able to grasp the difference between gran & grandad (the relationship) on either side & if e.g. there was a 2nd marriage as children are introduced to their relatives by titles without the splitting of hairs until as you say they are old enough to understand.

I think for simplicity it makes sense as people you talk to don't need a run-down of the genetics or lack of.

I still refer to my 'uncle-in-law' as uncle (although now deceased) & when I was contacted many yrs ago about my connection (he's in my tree as father of my cousins), I said he was my uncle through marriage which I'm sure would be easy to work out.

Children, if like myself, will ask when they want to know the 'ins & outs' of relationships & I welcome that day when my g/kids ask as we have a very confusing tree  ;D

Annie

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Offline Paulo Leeds

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Re: Why do we say Uncle, rather than Uncle-in-law?
« Reply #17 on: Monday 07 January 19 15:08 GMT (UK) »
until a person is old enough to understand and differentiate between a blood relative to a none-blood relative they may not realise an Uncle and Uncle-in-law is different

Equally, they wouldn't be able to grasp the difference between gran & grandad (the relationship) on either side & if e.g. there was a 2nd marriage as children are introduced to their relatives by titles without the splitting of hairs until as you say they are old enough to understand.

you don't mean in terms of gender  ;D