What was it that aroused your interest into your predecessors??

[pinefamily]

Just J, to answer your original post, if family members get upset with your findings, don't share anything else with them. No one can tell you what or what not to do ( unless you're breaking the law obviously). If you have the genealogy bug like the rest of us, then go for it as long as you want to.
Like a lot of others, I first started pre-internet and back when computers were scary things that you needed to put punchcards in to operate them.
The TV miniseries Roots got me asking questions and it wasn't long before I was hooked. I have had a couple of breaks over the years, and wished I'd asked more questions back then. I did get more information out of my grandmother than any of her children ever had.
I have recorded all of the descendants of both my and my wife's great grandparents, but my interest lies more in the past than the present.

[pinefamily]

Re skeletons, I've always told people that I am not the judge but the recorder of my family history. Our ancestors did indeed live in different times and we cannot apply our own values to what we find.

[River Tyne Lass]

I totally agree with this pinefamily that our ancestors lived in different times we cannot judge.  Their lives would have be governed in the most part by societies rules, values and expectations of their time.  Also for many people, they did not have the support that we now can now expect in today's society.  Single mothers were treated quite badly, I think in the past.  They could not expect much support but they could expect to be meted out shame and punishment.  Think of the launderies and the misery that all that entailed.

I have found all sorts of skeletons in my family history researching.  I am mostly quite open about it all as it all relates to years ago and not stuff which happened in recent past.  I remember once telling someone that my Great x 2 Grandparents were charged with a murder and was met with the response "Oh, I am sure you will want to keep that quiet."  Not really, this event did take place in 1855 and besides I do not believe my ancestors were guilty as charged and they were acquitted.  However, I am the type of person who likes to know it all warts and all.  I am not interested in projecting any nice white washed version.  What is the point of having a false picture?  If I found out my ancestors had medals and had done wonderful things I would be proud, of course.  But whatever, the real picture was - that is the one I wish to know about.  I would feel it unfair too if I tried to present a chocolate box variety to others for the sake of propriety. 

That being said, I am quiet about one aspect of my tree which might seem a little hypocritical given what I have just said.  This is because this relates to my Great Grandmother who went on to marry and start another family after the birth of my illegitimate Grandmother.  This is because this side of the family have been very good to me in giving me the answers I sought a few years back.  I had put out an on-line appeal (not on RootsChat I did not know about this website then) and someone from this side of the family responded.  This meant so, so much to me.  I was overwhelmed with gratitude.  I really felt like I could identify with Alex Haley in Roots when he says "I have found you, Kunte Kinte - I have found you".  I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time .. felt as high as a kite .. it was one of the best days of my life.  I wished my Mother was still alive to share in finally getting to know what had become of her missing Grandmother.  This person had even sent me photos.  They were wonderfully kind and we eventually met up.  I keep their side of the family private out of respect as I think they are a lot more private than I am.  I think they would prefer this skeleton to remain in the cupboard at this point in time and I respect that.

I think it all boils down to how people perceive things.  I know I have carried out look ups for people privately who still seem to feel the grip of the stigma of yesteryear.  Things such as baptisms for illegitimate children, bigamous marriage etc.  I do understand this (and from my own experience) even though rationally it would mean nothing to most of us today. 

[Mart 'n' Al]

When I was about 10, my grandmother died. I discovered from the plaque put up in her memory that her late husband who died long before I was born had the middle name Sedcole. The name fascinated me for over 55 years and finally 3 years ago I started wondering where this name came from. The big shock for me was finding out that my grandmother and her late husband where actually my late GREAT  grandmother and her husband who had brought up my father comma in lieu of his own mother, their daughter. Even my father thought that his real life mother was his sister. In my childhood and teens she was a lovely aunty, and we now realise that she loved us so much because we were her grandchildren rather than nieces and nephews. That was the biggest shock of my research but like everybody else there were many other skeletons.

Martin

[Finley 1]

lovely skeleton xxxx 

xin

No bones about it

[Mart 'n' Al]

Since I started on this I have come to realise that many people grew up not knowing that their big sister was actually their mother, but it still came as a shock to me. She was such a lovely aunt. And yet subsequently we found out that she had 3 children by 3 different men during the 1930s.

Martin

[River Tyne Lass]

I agree that this is probably true for a lot of people that they grew up not knowing that a big sister was actually a Mother.

The person who responded to my appeal expressed that they were "astonished".  This side of the Family had always believed that my Grandmother was my Great Grandmother's youngest sister.  On one census my Grandmother was down as her own Grandparent's daughter and on a later one in 1911 as their Granddaughter.  The person who responded to me had noticed this but had thought it was an error.  Of course, I was able to prove everything with my Grandmother's birth certificate but to their credit they believed me even before I sent them the proof.  And the thing is from what I have heard about her my Great Grandmother was a lovely woman, so selfless, kind and loving.  She was only 17 when she gave birth to my Grandmother in 1895.  I think she must have been a vulnerable teenager looking for love.  Her own Father sadly seems to have been a bit of an aggressive drunk judging by newspaper account.  So not the best of backgrounds.  However, I don't judge him as I don't know what circumstances might have shaped him into being the type of man he became, sadly.

[pinefamily]

Thank you for sharing these wonderful stories and memories. To all of us on Rootschat we accept these things as part of our family histories without judgment.
On a lighter note, I was born a product of both my parents second marriage. My oldest sister is 19 years older than I am. When I was born, my parents took me into her work one day so she could show me off to her work mates. My sister told me that one old dear she worked with refused to believe that I was her brother and not her son. My sister retorted, "When did I have him? In my lunch break?"
I do love my sister dearly; I've always been closer to her than my mother. She's like your sister, mother, and favourite auntie all rolled into one.

[coombs]

In tracing my London line, some of my East End ancestors were Huguenot but one branch came from Norfolk. He moved to London in about 1780. And my parents moved to Norfolk before I was born so it feels like the family went from Norfolk to London via Co Durham and Essex and back to Norfolk.