Please help me find my father!

[traceyjanesykes]

Hi all,
I am on a mission to find my father. Except I really have no information about him to help me on my search. I have tried to be in touch with family members that would have known of him but they have either passed or haven't replied. I want your help as I don't know where to begin or whether a DNA test on Ancestry or anything like that would help. He also is not on my birth certificate, only my mother, and she gave me her last name. This is the information I have relating to him:

- I was born in 1964 in Surrey, England, and I was told that he was in his 40s or 50s when I was born.
- He worked on boats and my mother, Sandra Helena Sykes, who was 20, joined him
- He left again while I was born to go back out to sea and my mother got in contact with the Salvation Army to get in contact with him and bring him back when I was born
- He decided he couldn't stay and left again
- He may have been Jewish (I've been told different things)

I am aware he most likely has passed, but I'm interested in knowing who he was or at least having a picture, it's a big part of my identity that I've never known. I also am intrigued as to whether I have any half siblings. I'm not sure where to start looking or if it's possible that I may find anything from any archives or tests you are aware of.


As always, any help is greatfully received.

Cheers, Tracey.

[CaroleW]

Welcome to Rootschat

Without a name/birthyear or birthplace it would be impossible to find him.  The only person who has that info is your mother and I am assuming she is now deceased.

DNA may help but only if others of the same line are on the DNA database. 

[mckha489]

Have you approached the Salvation Army to see if they have records of your Mother’s request

[CaroleW]

Did your mother marry in 1966?  Is your stepfather alive as she may have given him information about your father

If I have the right marriage in 1966 I cannot see a death for either your mother or stepfather up to 2007 or on the incomplete register from 2008

[traceyjanesykes]

I have approached the Salvation Army's Tracing Services to see if they have any records or even share them. Hopefully they do. Thank you so much for that idea.

Carole, thank you for your help. Yes my mother remarried in 1966 and my Stepfather is alive but no response back as of yet, I first reached out to him around Christmas. My mother is not around but you definitely have the correct marriage. My half sisters are also unaware that he is not my real father. It was a big secret, my mother had told no one except my step father. So my uncle and aunties on my mother side are also unaware of his name.

[CaroleW]

Let's hope the SA still have the records as you will at least get his name and possibly some other information.

Is your mother now deceased?  If so, there doesn't seem to be any logical reason for your stepfather to withhold info from you.   

Although your half siblings are unaware of your parentage - perhaps you could consider telling them which may help with info from your stepfather. 

As they are in their 50's they must know when you were born and when their parents married so it may not come as any surprise if you tell them.   

[CaroleW]

I see your birth was re-registered after your mum married and your surname changed to that of your stepfather.  Did he legally adopt you?

[traceyjanesykes]

Yes he adopted me, therefore I only found out he wasn't my real father when I was around 19. Around then my stepfather and my mum divorced and my sisters and I never saw my mum again, she left. She told me he wasn't my real father before she left though.

[CaroleW]

I wonder if there is any info about your father on your adoption papers?  It's a slim possibility