Author Topic: Ancestry - lack of replies  (Read 5014 times)

Offline Scrumper

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Re: Ancestry - lack of replies
« Reply #18 on: Saturday 06 April 19 22:56 BST (UK) »
I've got a couple of messages to respond to, I will when I have time.  Sorry if you're one of them. Time is finite.
Davies in Wales :(

Offline pharmaT

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Re: Ancestry - lack of replies
« Reply #19 on: Sunday 07 April 19 09:20 BST (UK) »
I've got a couple of messages to respond to, I will when I have time.  Sorry if you're one of them. Time is finite.

Well I'm talking about no replies I'm talking about years, not weeks or months.
Campbell, Dunn, Dickson, Fell, Forest, Norie, Pratt, Somerville, Thompson, Tyler among others

Offline Mart 'n' Al

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Re: Ancestry - lack of replies
« Reply #20 on: Sunday 07 April 19 09:46 BST (UK) »
I think you should think of a family history email to a total stranger as being like a cover letter with a job application. It needs to be very well thought-out, it needs to be the right length, neither trivially short nor boringly long, interesting and showing that you have something to offer rather than just wanting something back.

And keep trying. Perhaps somebody is very busy now but in a month's time they might have more time.

Finally, ask a friend to read your email. I am more likely to reply to a well structured letter, with good spelling, and without masses of cartoon pictures. However somebody else might like just the opposite.

Martin

Offline Andrew Tarr

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Re: Ancestry - lack of replies
« Reply #21 on: Sunday 07 April 19 09:56 BST (UK) »
I think you should think of a family history email to a total stranger as being like a cover letter with a job application. It needs to be very well thought-out, it needs to be the right length, neither trivially short nor boringly long, interesting and showing that you have something to offer rather than just wanting something back. 
You should also consider that many people (assuming they actually get online) may see it as unsolicited mail - and we all know what often happens to that - or perhaps don't even notice that a message has arrived.  Sometimes if you look to see when someone last logged-in, it may have been last year, so a reply may take a while.  And in the worst scenario, as many of us are 'getting on' there may never be a reply ....  :'(
Tarr, Tydeman, Liversidge, Bartlett, Young


Offline pharmaT

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Re: Ancestry - lack of replies
« Reply #22 on: Sunday 07 April 19 10:30 BST (UK) »
I think you should think of a family history email to a total stranger as being like a cover letter with a job application. It needs to be very well thought-out, it needs to be the right length, neither trivially short nor boringly long, interesting and showing that you have something to offer rather than just wanting something back.

And keep trying. Perhaps somebody is very busy now but in a month's time they might have more time.

Finally, ask a friend to read your email. I am more likely to reply to a well structured letter, with good spelling, and without masses of cartoon pictures. However somebody else might like just the opposite.

Martin

I do think them out very carefully.  I try and us proper grammar and spelling etc.  Information wise I try to get a balance between having enough information to show I know about the family and am serious while not going to the level of information overload.

Well I used to after all the no replies (after logging in daily) and a few rude replies I figured my efforts were in vain and I was offending people so I stopped.

I have one message I haven't replied to.  It is just 4 surnames.  The entire message is just those 4 words.
Campbell, Dunn, Dickson, Fell, Forest, Norie, Pratt, Somerville, Thompson, Tyler among others

Offline Mart 'n' Al

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Re: Ancestry - lack of replies
« Reply #23 on: Sunday 07 April 19 10:36 BST (UK) »
PharmaT, I'd be interested to know what somebody says in a rude reply.  Could I see an example?

Martin

Offline pharmaT

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Re: Ancestry - lack of replies
« Reply #24 on: Sunday 07 April 19 10:44 BST (UK) »
PharmaT, I'd be interested to know what somebody says in a rude reply.  Could I see an example?

Martin

I have had "Don't you know how ancestry works? You're supposed to do it all yourself", also "I can't possibly be related to someone like you" and last but not least "you're delusional! you have fabricated the documents for your Dad's death as you can't bear the idea he has another family and abandoned you".
Campbell, Dunn, Dickson, Fell, Forest, Norie, Pratt, Somerville, Thompson, Tyler among others

Offline louisa maud

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Re: Ancestry - lack of replies
« Reply #25 on: Sunday 07 April 19 11:21 BST (UK) »
Pharma, I am sorry you were subjected to such rude remarks, be thankful they may not be related to you

Most people aren't rude, I think they are in the minority,  so continue you good work

Louisa Maud
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Offline Kiltpin

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Re: Ancestry - lack of replies
« Reply #26 on: Sunday 07 April 19 11:40 BST (UK) »

I have had "Don't you know how ancestry works? You're supposed to do it all yourself", also "I can't possibly be related to someone like you" and last but not least "you're delusional! you have fabricated the documents for your Dad's death as you can't bear the idea he has another family and abandoned you".
 

I know exactly what you are talking about. 

Last year I received this message  - "CHECK YOUR SOURCES!!!!!! MRS FIRSTNAME LASTNAME IS NOT DEAD!!!!!!" 

I replied - "Well, seeing as she had a massive heart attack at the Bowls Club Luncheon in front of 60 people; and seeing as my wife gave her CPR until the ambulance arrived; and seeing as she was declared Dead On Arrival at West Suffolk Hospital; and seeing as my wife had to register the death as her husband was in no condition to do so; and seeing as I have her Death Certificate in front of me as I type; and seeing as I attended her funeral; and seeing as the husband visits us every week and is still grieving 20 years later; I can tell you this - My tree is right and your tree is wrong." 

She replied - "DON'T BE SO NAIVE AND STUPID. DON'T YOU KNOW THAT DEATH CERTIFICATES CAN BE ALTERED AND FORGED?" 

I replied "I will tell that to her husband and let you know what he says." 

Needless to say, I did not tell him. Last I checked, her tree was the same. 

Regards 

Chas
Whannell - Eaton - Jackson
India - Scotland - Australia