Lack of progress (while staying safe)

[pharmaT]

Does anyone feel under pressure to get everything done.  There's all these social media posts about how kids are achieving more than they do at school, how everyone's house and garden look so perfect, better than ever before and people have crafted so many items and learned so many new skills.  Then the other posts saying if you haven't achieved this you're lazy/stupid/irresponsible whatever the word of the day was.

I'm starting to feel the pressure of my absolute failure to achieve even one of these.  I have one child furious with me for ruining her life due to lockdown, another is lying on the sofa having a big temper tantrum and I don't even know what I did this time to set it off.  The house is worse than usual as I don't have a free 2hrs ever to blitz the cleaning without a child undoing it all. I have done no craft, I've fixed household items that have broken but no craft for craft's sake like proper people are doing, I don't think I've particularly learned any skills that I didn't already have.

Then there's the food shop.  In the old days it was drive to shop, grab trolley, get what you want, through till, pay, load car, drive home, unload car, put it all away.  Now it's: Drive to shop, put on mask, clean trolley, get what you want, through till, load car, gel hands, remove mask, clean phone, gel hands, drive home, unload car, wash hands, clean fridge and freezer stuff, wash hands, put fridge and freezer stuff away, wash hands, clothes in washing machine, wash hands, washing on, have shower, fresh clothes.  Then rest ofshopping bags: remove items that have inner wrappers using no touch technique, bin outer wrappers, wash hands items away, fill sink, wash bottles, tins etc, was hands, put them away, clean sink and draining board, wash hands,  empty out fruit and veg and wash in colander, wash hands, dry, put away, wash the carrier bags, wash hands, hang the bags out.  So much longer before i can get onto the stuff everyone else does and does properly.

[Maggsie]

After reading your post...………...…….....
When you see these people on the TV/FB or whatever, aren't they wonderful!
Give me strength, it's all for show!
The many books in the background, yippee they can read, or is it that book shelf wallpaper I am looking at.
A tip.
Do your best, keep safe, look after your children as best you can.
Get then to wash the items and help you.
If they don't get them to read the story of The Little Red Hen.

This is going to take time, just be thankful you wake everyday.
Maggsie

[PaulineJ]

I'm sick of having bodies at the house 24/7.
One uni student taking final exams  and revising in bedroom, two adults working from home on PCs/ noisy hardware.

Too noisy if I DIY,
Cant even vacuum (conference calls) 

cant just have snack for lunch ("people" want cooked/hot dinnner).
Cant have a takeaway , cant even clear out junk from garage because it's full of car(s) andnowhere to dump it.

[Ruskie]

No it’s all nonsense Pharma - take no notice of it. It’s all social media rubbish.

You are working full time. No one is judging you, and too bad if they are - ignore them. I’m sure millions of people are doing far far less than you are, and as you say, even the simple tasks like shopping take a lot longer at the moment.

Your children will get over it. Kids are always angry with their Mum.

It doesn’t matter if you have not kept up with the housework - who cares. Clean up some time when you can be bothered.

All you have to do is take care of yours and your children’s health. Everything else can wait. Try to take some time for yourself to chill out and do nothing. You have earned it. 

[Milliepede]

Don't read too many or indeed any posts that can make you feel like this 

We are all coping as best we can in our own ways and should never compare what we are doing or not doing to anyone else. 

Cherish yourself and your family's health and keep positive that there is a light at the end of the tunnel already shining.     

[JenB]

Does anyone feel under pressure to get everything done.  There's all these social media posts about how kids are achieving more than they do at school, how everyone's house and garden look so perfect, better than ever before and people have crafted so many items and learned so many new skills.  Then the other posts saying if you haven't achieved this you're lazy/stupid/irresponsible whatever the word of the day was.

Ignore them!

the stuff everyone else does and does properly.

This 'stuff' isn't done by everyone else  and everyone else isn't doing it properly.

As Ruskie says - it's all nonsense and take no notice of it 

[Rishile]

We all had to devise ways of coping with this unknown situation.  For OH and me we had to stay busy but we are just two adults on our own, one retired, the other working part-time from home.  If we had children, our priorities would have been very different.  We also have to cope with each other and getting on each other's nerves.  Our way has been for OH to retreat to the garden when I'm working at home.  It helps for a while. 

Other people NEED to let everyone know what they are ACHIEVING but they don't tell you what they are FAILING.  I would rather see someone like you silently coping with your children, silently coping with your work, silently coping with keeping your family safe than someone who is reading, doing crafts, cooking loads of soda bread and telling everyone about it all but their family is falling sick around them.

Rishile

[pharmaT]

We all had to devise ways of coping with this unknown situation.  For OH and me we had to stay busy but we are just two adults on our own, one retired, the other working part-time from home.  If we had children, our priorities would have been very different.  We also have to cope with each other and getting on each other's nerves.  Our way has been for OH to retreat to the garden when I'm working at home.  It helps for a while. 

Other people NEED to let everyone know what they are ACHIEVING but they don't tell you what they are FAILING.  I would rather see someone like you silently coping with your children, silently coping with your work, silently coping with keeping your family safe than someone who is reading, doing crafts, cooking loads of soda bread and telling everyone about it all but their family is falling sick around them.

Rishile

it's not that I'm doing nothing, it's that I'm achieving nothing.  Apart from Wednesday this week when I was so tired and sore after work I have been non stop.  My problem I think is that the cleaning has to be done in a particular order, and if say one of the kids comes and prepares a snack making a mess of the kitchen I can' go onto the job I was about to go on to but I have to go back to step one and start again so I can easily spend 4hrs cleaning the kitchen when every room should be cleaned daily at least that's my aim.

[Rishile]

You are putting far too much pressure on yourself.  Set yourself some easier, more achievable targets.  Nobody could clean their house every day, work full time, cope with two children along with all the other things we are all dealing with now.  Decide what really needs to be done and try your best.  If it doesn't get done today, well, there's another day tomorrow.  Keep to your priorities - your children, your work, yourself.  Nobody is asking more of you than that.

Rishile